Cort0807
Everyone's supportive..except my nerves!
Jul 30, 2010
Right now this is merely a place to vent so I don't feel like the stereotypical newbie. The limited people I have told about my RNY are 100% supportive to the point I almost feel guilty for being scared out of my tree. I absolutely KNOW that I need the WLS to be healthier but I'm really terrified of the "what if" scenarios. I read that everyone feels nervous, I read how some people weren't sure they were ready all the way up until the anesthesia kicked in. Yet I feel like I'm the only one this nervous, this paranoid about statistics, and the only person that second guesses whether I tried enough despite knowing I've busted my ass left and right.I am to the point of seriously considering writing a letter to my husband and letters for my daughter's big milestones just in case. In the event that something were to happen I don't want my 9 month old daughter to live her whole life wondering why her mommy did this surgery when she is a huge part of the reason I DO value living a longer life now. I want to be the mom that can run around with my daughter and her friends and be a healthy role model. I want to be that wife that sets an example for my family that health is important and that we must be proactive in watching what we ingest. I have to keep reminding myself that if I do NOT go through with this surgery my life will be shorter in the big picture. I just need to work through the next thought... that that would be long term and I'd still be in my daughter's life for now.
I have never been so scared of dying as I am right now. I have so much to live for now. I think I can, I think I can... I KNOW I CAN! Can't I? LOL!
2 Comments
About Me
Fort Campbell, KY
Location
31.7
BMI
Surgery
08/09/2010
Surgery Date
Jul 14, 2010
Member Since
