Crystal M.
I am a Big Girl in a small town, wanting to BREAK FREE! I have been a big girl for most of my life stemming back to my early childhood. For me it's a combination of Genetics, Environment, Socio-economic conditioning, and lifestyle. I have chosen to tackle this issue now because it is the right time for me. My life has been one big rollercoaster with a series of big ups and downs and with the way my life is headed I see the end of the ride, but I don't wont to get off yet so I am choosing to have weight loss surgery in hopes of extending my life, and reclaiming my life. It's funny how fast it all creeps up on a person, pound by pound year by year my life was changing. I used to be outgoing and social, I was a member of a theatrical company and I would perform on stage in front of hundreds of people making them smile, cry, laugh... Then I slowly stared to change, I let my issues with weight start to consume my life, I became depressed, withdrawn, and afraid of the world around me and the people in it. *What are they going to say about me* *What are they thinking* *Why are they staring* *Are they laughing at me* I became Agoraphobic and for three years of my life I did not leave my home, I shut down and let my self pity envelope me. Then for some reason I made the choice that this was not me! This is not how I want to spend the rest of my life.. hiding from the world that I so desperately wanted to be apart of. I started cognitive behavioral therapy, slowly I began to reintegrate into society, and yes some people did laugh at my expense, and people did stare at me, and some people were whispering behind my back, but why should that stop me from living my life? So now here I am a few years later, I went back to College and got the degree I always said I would get, I am surrounding myself with people who I care care about and who love and care about me, and I am continuing to do my art which makes me happy. I want to continue doing things which will better my life and make me happy, but currently I find myself caught up in the vicious cycle which so many of us find ourselves in.. I am the biggest I have ever been and my health is rapidly declining, I weigh almost 400 lbs and I have come to the realization that this is one battle I cannot tackle on my own. It's funny how life has a way of connecting the right people at the right time though.. I didn't know where to turn or what to do but when I was in College I met a girl who has become a dear friend, she has helped and supported me along this journey of mine and introduced me to other people who were willing to help. As it turns out she was also friends with a woman who has just gone through the DS Surgery, as the fates would have it this woman has turned out to be an amazing inspiration for me, she has guided me thought the proses step by step and has answered all of my little worrisome questions. I know that this is the right decision for me and I am excited to start the new chapter of my life. I have always loved rollercoasters.. I wonder what mine will hold in store for me.
