My Original OH Profile/Blog

May 23, 2012

I found my old profile and blog today from a google search and decided to post that here for anyone who would be interested in a little background information about me. I always find it interesting to come back and read how I was feeling before I got the surgery because it helps to put things into perspective for me now. I hope this will help me get my focus back and get me back on the right track as well. Thank you for reading!

Welcome to ~*kttn*~s Weight Loss Journey

Goal Weight = 135 (Im not sure that is realistic but its goal for now)

 

Hi there Everyone! I have not had any information on this profile up to now, so I thought I would post something. After reading everyone elses information here, the profiles have been very helpful when going over why it is I have chosen this path and why am I here. My name is Tonya Murray. I am 34 years old, married to a sailor and I have three cats- 'Nilla, Cali, and Precious. We live in San Jacinto, CA which is northeast of San Diego, in Riverside County. I am 5'5" tall and I weigh 256lbs. I have always been overweight and have struggled with yo-yo dieting affects since high school. I lost weight in high school for the first time by basically eating once a week(definitely not good for a body in the long run). I actually managed to keep the weight off for about 6 years or so. I had an accident back when I was 19 years old that caused some trauma to my left foot and leg, and mangled me ankle. They had to amputate some of my foot so I have an orthotic that helps me wear shoes and walk. I have some hardcore arthritis in my ankle that only seems to get worse the more I weigh. I do like working out for the most part. I have an elliptical at home, and I belong to Curves. Nowadays, working out is somewhat difficult, as I don¡¦t have a pool where I live or where I can get to one, and I hate riding the bike (it makes my butt hurt). I have been heavy most of my life but have managed to lose large amounts of weight 2- 3 times only to gain it back. I have social anxiety that gets worse the heavier I am. So thats my story... I dont have any kind of timeline yet. I think I will start one after we submit the letter for approval. If youd like to email me or whatever, feel free. Have a fabulous day and good luck to everyone :-) PS-- I did my profile a alittle backwards from everyone else, newest entried on top, oldest on the bottom. Hope thats not too weird.

 

04/11/2007
HOLY COW its been a long time since I have written here. I think its because I never could get my profile to convert and it still wont now. Also- My life has changed so drastically since I started losing weight. I am now 7 pounds from my goal weight and I am a completely different person than I use to be when I first joined the site. I wont go on and on about how I have changed as I am assuming most people can fathom what kind of changes happen from this Life changing surgery. I am happier, healthier, in the best shape of my life and I cant get enough of living life.

I hope everyone is doing well here. I hope to post again soon.

7/29/2006
It has been a long time since I journaled last. I tend to find myself here when things arent working so well for me. I am on a plateau that I have been on for two weeks now. I have gone to the message boards looking for information. I am 9 weeks out as of the 27th, and I am really not sure what's going on with me.

My friend Corey has lost alot of weight.(yes I compare my loss to hers all the time) We had surgery the same day. However, I have lost a measily 35 pounds since surgery, and 56 altogether (started losing two weeks before surgery) and I feel so sad.

Two weeks ago I had started stalling at the 200 pound mark. I thought it was my protein intake and water because I suck at getting even the minimum down. I get distracted with work, or hanging out with friends and I dont get nearly what I need for the day. So this past week, I was in a training class where all I did all day was be in class. I thought this would be the perfect time to concentrate on my protein. I think I managed to get a significantly higher amount of protein in during the day. I wrote everything down in my little food diary for the week. Somedays I got just below the minimum and some days I was over. I also had plenty of water those days as well.

I started adding a weight routine which worried me (I have always had a tendency to get big when I work out with weights) So the work outs for the week were: Monday-Curves for 30 minutes and a 20 minute brisk walk at lunch. Tuesday-Curves for 30 minutes and 30 minutes of weights (back and legs). Wednesday-Curves for 30 minutes and weights for 30 minutes (arms and chest) and the elliptical for 10 minutes. Thursday-Curves for 30 minutes and an hour of deep water aerobics. Friday was Curves for 30 minutes and a 30 minute walk on the beach that evening. To me, this didnt seem too routine; every day was something a little different.

I jumped on the scale yesterday right as I got home from the airport and I was up 3 pounds. Ok- it wasnt in the AM when I usually weigh, I was wearing clothes where I normally dont weigh with clothes on, and those might have factored in. So I weighed again this morning with nothing on and IM stuck at 200. My friend Corey by now is almost to 180 and we started out being 4 pounds apart at surgery (I weighed more).

So I read over some of the old postings on the board and found one I like LOL- it said that if your body was at a certain weight for a while, then it will go to that weight and stick there for some time. I am remembering that I probly stuck around 200 for a while before i ballooned up to the 256 I started at. I read that a change in food would help but there is so little that I like to eat right now at all that Im not sure what to "change" to. I have wanted to post this on the board but I know the regulars here get frustrated with the same questions over and over again so I will continue to look through the archives to try to figure this situation out.

6/06/2006
It has been a while since I have blogged. I guess I got discouraged in watching the scale and tried to throw myself into something else. So I have been concentrating on my water and trying to get the two protein shakes in a day. I should be having three but I havent worked up to that yet. Still takes so much to get just two down.
I had my consult with the Dr today, at a little over a week out and he said things were going fine. I was surprised that when I asked him when I could have sex he answered that you cant give yourself a hernia from activity when you have laproscopic surgery. He literally told me I could have had sex the night I came home from the hospital. Thats crazy. I am still floored that he said that.
Otherwise, I am down to 221, not as low as my friend Cory, but 14 pounds in a little over a week out. I hope that is good.
I will try journalling more later. Trying to keep my head up as I am still on shakes for another 3 weeks. Drs Orders.

5/27/2006
Home from the hospital. Apparently all is well. No pain meds but Tylenol and my Dr. told me I could go work out this afternoon if I was up to it. Well the stairs at the place where I am staying have turned out to be a challenge. So I am thinking thats going to be the workout for me for the next few days. Otherwise, Im amazed at how pleasant everything has gone. I even got a teddy bear from the hospital and from my dr. Hes my new best friend.
I am somewhat tired so I am thinking a nap is in order. Ill post again soon. I hope everyone else is doing fine.

5/23/2006
Its Tuesday and I am about to start packing the truck to go down to San Diego. I am going to stay with a friend while my condo is being fumigated. I have preop testing all day tomorrow and then I have the surgery on Thursday. I am feeling a little nervous. My stomach is starting to get queazy ewwww. I was sick last week so the queazy feeling doesnt feel so good.
I am not sure how I am going to get any "before" pics either. I dont know how to work the big camera to get the timer to work. I damn sure am not letting anyone take them of me LOL. So I guess Ill be working on that tonight and tomorrow. I am so worried I am going to forget something UGH.
Well I guess I am going to get going and get to packing. I hope everyone has an excellent day. I might write later to keep my mind off things.

5/21/2006
I have been bad about not writing here as much as I guess I could have been. I guess I tend to keep my weight loss surgery and diary here separate from my life that everyone else can see somewhere else. I guess I have felt that way for a long time. The weight loss struggle is something I internalize while putting on the face that it doesnt bother me as much as it does. But some people close to me say its very evident that I have issues with my weight, with how it makes me feel, my insecurity; the oversensitivity to the mean things people say to me about my weight, etc. So maybe I dont hide how badly the weight makes me feel, all that well.
So now as I get closer to having the surgery, I cant help but hope and pray that at least this shallow part of the whole process goes away with the surgery. I just want to feel more comfortable in my own skin.

5/7/2006
Happy Sunday Morning!
Havent looked at the counter lately to see how many days til surgery, but its getting closer and I guess I am starting to feel more and more alone about this process. I am getting a little nervous, in a nesting mode to some degree. Getting my house in order. I have a week off starting on Monday. I wish I could go home and see my mom. Unfortunately, as mentioned previously, I cant really talk to her about the surgery anymore. So I would feel really weird being there just yet. I am hoping that over time, she will accept it, and love me anyway. She's my mom and I really dont want to have her be so upset with me about this decision.
For some reason I felt compelled to buy some more literature to be reading, in hopes of helping me be a little less nervous about this process.
I got:

 

1.     Before and After: Living and Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery by Susan Maria Leach

2.     Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies by Marina S. Kurian, Barbara Thompson, Brian K. Davidson

3.     Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery by Patt Levine, Michele Bontempo-Saray, Foreword by William B. Inabnet, Foreword by Meredith Urban

4.     The Patients Guide to Weight Loss Surgery- Everything you need to know about Gastric Bypass & Bariatric Surgery

I will have to work on some reviews of these books as I get done. During my Psych Evaluation, the psychologist mentioned she is writing a book about the surgery and the psychological aspects that need to be addressed asap as well. Apparently she has encountered a number of patients of bariatric surgery that apparently get whisked away in the worldwind that is massive weight loss and physical transition, that the mind, is not addressed. The mind has played a key piece of why some Morbidly Obese individuals are Morbidly Obese. Emotional Eating, food as reward, as comfort, all of these. So she actually mentioned maybe asking me at a later time to contribute some of my own experience to her book. She liked my attitude about things, especially about this accident I had in 1991 that has left me with a bit of a disability. I was impressed, flattered and am taking notes of my own experiences in case she would like them. The books I have bought I am using to determine what I should be noting in the process: What it actually feels like and for how long before things get back to normal, hair loss, attitude, regrets, etc.

Im really excited about the opportunity.

4/27/2006
Nothing much really going on here with me as the countdown continues. 28 more days til surgery. (the ticker will be forever frozen in this state lol)

I guess I am starting to get some questions that I am going to need some answers to relatively soon.
1. How soon can I carry something like my laptop in a backpack and a suitcase for traveling?

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