deehoney

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I've lost over 60 lbs and I'm finally cleaning out my closet. None of the clothes that I have in my closet fit me anymore.  I know have a handfull of shirts and jeans that I've bought recently that fit.  Why am I feeling so much angst about this?  I've kept two of my favorite outfits pre-surgery so I can go back and get a good reflection on how much I've lost. I'm donating most to a homeless shelter and giving the rest to a friend.   But, still ... I'm not really happy about having to get rid of all these clothes. 

Shouldn't I be happy about this? It's such an odd feeling.

I can't believe I actually have less weight to lose than what I have lost. It's been almost 3 months since I've had my surgery. How time has flown by.  I now weigh less now that I did my senior year in high school. Holy Shite!  It feels amazing, but so odd at the same time. 

I went into Old Navy last week to see if I could fit into any of their clothes.  When they opened up back in 1994, I was too fat to fit into any of their clothes, so I've never bought anything for me in that store.  So, I try on a pair of 18's, they fit great in the thighs, but are actually a little large at the hip, I'm right in between 16's and 18's there.  And these are not "W" sizes either! Wow!  I fit into their XL shirts great as well.  They are a little tight around the tata's, but those are shrinking as well.  

I'm rambling, I know it ... just some thoughts this morning as I'm drinking my hot chocolate protein drink :)

I've reached Onederland on Saturday!! It feels soo good! :)

Woohoo!! I'm down 50 lbs! Holy crapola! Only 2 more lbs until I'm in Onderland! :)

I saw a friend about 3 weeks ago and he told me he  thought I was prettier heavier. When I saw him, I had lost about 40 lbs.  I asked him why he thought that, and he said, he always liked the more curvier girl.  He told me that I should eat more.  LOL. He had no idea I had the surgery and I wasn't going to tell him at that point.  He wouldn't understand nor would I think he would support me. 

There are mom's at my son's school that have mentioned my weight loss to two close friends of mine.  They haven't said anything to me, but just to them.  Those two friends know that I've had the surgery and they are not telling them what I had done.  I wonder why they don't approach me and ask me.

My son's ex-kindergarten teacher asked me a few weeks ago if I was okay. She asked if I was sick, and I told her no, that I was getting quite healthy. Do I look sick? I don't think so. I think I'm looking hotter and hotter every day.

I feel like I'm getting noticed more now from the opposite sex. It's nice to feel attractive, I may even shoot a smile back ;)

I'm sure most folks who go through this are getting the same reactions. Sometimes, I like the attention, other times I don't.  Just another new adventure in this WLS journey.

I'm officially down 46lbs today and before I wrote that out, I didn't think it was that much, but now that I have actually written down the numbers 4 and 6, holy crapola, that's a lot of weight!!  I'm now in a size 18 jean, which is soo very strange. I haven't been in a size 18 since I was 21 which is over 10 years ago. 

I have been feeling a little frustrated that it seems like I am having a difficult time finding a pair of jeans that fit me right.  I love Lane Bryant Right Fit, they just fit me perfectly, but there is no way I'm going to spend $50 bucks on a pair of jeans that I'm going to wear for a month.  Nope, no way, no how.  I'm going to head to Ross to see if I can find anything. I went to a couple of places last night and I found some jeans under $20 that I'll pay for, but they are fit all super snug in the thigh, then they get wider below the knee .. just a little too young style for me.  Get me a nice pair of bootcut jeans, and I'm good to go. 

I did something really stupid on Friday night. I had some leftover cod that kicked my @$$!  I ate 2 bites way too fast and didn't chew long enought and it got stuck. It was the worst pain I have ever felt, well with the exception of labor pains.  But it was freaking close!  I puked and felt a little better, but I was feeling the repercussions all freaking night.  Not good at all. Big, super big lesson to learn.

My 50 lb weight loss will also coincide with me being in ONEDERLAND ... that's kinda exciting.  I'm thinking i'll get there by Halloween.  My weight loss is slowing down I have noticed, maybe one or two lbs a week.  I really need to exercise more, I think I'm going to pick up EA active today for the Wii.

I'm down officially 32 lbs. I now weigh less than I did over 10 years ago. 32 doesn't sound like a big number, but I would never have been able to reach on my own without my RNY.  It's pretty amazing how this whole process is working for me.  My face seems a little thinner, my thighs do, especially my chest size, LOL!  I need to purchase some bras, that's for sure. My tatas are not fitting well into my bras anymore. 

I also noticed that I'm falling out of my clothes. I have a closet full of clothes that are too big for me now. They still fit, but they are so loose on me, especially in the thighs and butt area.  I actually have these pair of capri's that I've had for a few years and I tried them on today and they are so loose, pretty much unwearable.  I remember right after my mom had the surgery (4 years ago) and having her try these capri's on and they were loose on her too, it's pretty funny how this is all working out.  I think I'm going to have to invest in some wrap dresses or skirts for a while.  I definitely need some new tops as well. I'm gonna scope out the Thrift Stores near me to see if I can find anything good and check out Ross and TJ Maxx. It's just soo damn hot right now, that most of the stores have fall clothes out right now and it's harder to find anything that cool enough to wear.  And I also don't want to spend tons of money on clothes that won't be fitting me in a month!

I'm going to try out some new shakes that I've seen posted by some of the awesome OH posters.  I'm getting really excited about trying new foods and making healthy stuff for my family.  I'll be on the pureed stage in about a week and half and I'm really looking forward to that.  So far, the full liquids that I have had, have been good to my pouch. Absolutely no issues!  I've also tried a little bit of an egg omelette and garlic mashed potatoes this weekend and my pouch was happy. Ooh, thank you Egg!  I've been worried about eggs because I really love them so much. 

LOL, I had such a hissy fit yesterday!  I'm doing better today.  I got all my protein in yesterday and I will today as well. Its already 8pm and I've gotten 40 grams in, but I will be up until at least midnight or so (I'm a night owl) and I should be able to get the rest in.

My pouch has spoken to me lately though, she has decided that she does not like room temperature water, only ice cold.  If I drink room temperature water, she gets a little annoyed with me.  So, I need to make sure everything I drink is cold, cold, cold. I can handle warm things like chicken broth, just not room temperature for a reason.  Not sure why, I'll have to ask my NUT.

I'm down another pound which is great.  :)

I got a lecture from my mom today about my protein, I think she was worse than the doc, lol.  I need to remind myself that all this protein is gonna help me lose this weight, and keep my hair! The latter is pretty important as well, I want to keep as much hair as I can!  I do think I'm going to cut it shorter though, not too short. My husband is sooooo not happy with that though, oh well.

Ahh, I am starting to struggle these last couple of days. I feel hungry, not tummy rumbling, but my stomach is not happy with me.  I'm not getting all my protein in, I'm short about 20 grams or so a day.  I saw my doc today for my 2 week post-op and he wasn't happy with me either about my protein.  It's soo hard to get it all in and I'm really trying.  I need to keep trying harder.  My incisions are looking good, one of the scabs pulled of one on the way there and ruined my shirt with the drainage from one (EWWW!!) and I got a little bandaid to put on it. 

All, I can think about is FOOD, FOOD, FOOD! I want a damn burrito, or taco, or hamburger, I want something substantial to feel full!  I think part of it is that I'm anxious about starting the next food phase which I get to start on Thursday. I want something delicious in my tummy instead of Isopure Dutch Chocolate shake and Isopure Alpine Punch. I want to add milk and other yummilicious stuff to my shake, but I can't yet.  I know it's only a few days to the full liquids stage, but I didn't think it would hit me this hard.  SIGH!

The good thing is that I'm all cleared for normal activities, excercise, swimming, sex ;)  I just don't have a lot of energy for any of those right now.  I think I'm just in this funk that I need to crawl out of!

Anyhoo, that's me for today ...hopefully in a few days, I'll be smiling when I can have some cream soups and cream of wheat!

So, I've had a little bitty WOW moment today. I bought these Right Fit Jeans from LB about 2 and a half years ago in size 6, which I think is about a size 20/22. They fit tight when I bought them and the sales associate said that's the way you need to buy them because they stretch out. So I bought 2 pairs.  Well, after washing them, they were really really tight and pretty uncomfortable to wear, but my hubby liked them because they were so tight. Last year, I couldn't even fit into them. They hurt to put on as my fat would just boil over the top.  So, I set them aside in my closet.

Well, today, I was cleaning out my closet and called my hubby in because I wanted to try these jeans on for him.  I put them on sooo easy and buttoned them up with no problems. They were actually loose on me! I actually started crying! I couldn't help myself. I then went through my closet looking for a few other pair of jeans that were way too tight just a few months ago and they fit perfectly.  I can't believe it!

It's such a motivator and makes me know that I'm doing the right thing!  Pretty soon, my closet is just gonna have clothes that are going to be too big for me. I think Thrift Stores are going to be my new staple :)

Ooh, and I'm down 24 lbs now! Wow!