DFinnel
Surgery is soon
Apr 06, 2008
I have surgery in sixteen days! The last month has been a whirlwind of doctor appointments. Everything is going by so quickly. After years of neglecting my body, mostly out of fear that I would hear I have cancer. I lost both my parents to lung cancer and was traumatized by the process. I've only recently been able to acknowledge that. Being the primary care giver for someone that is terminally ill is an act of love and compassion, but it takes a tremendous toll. I also ran a large public healthcare company and am a wife and mother. It doesn't take long to figure out where taking care of me fell into my list of priorities.
I have been this same weight for more or less 15 years. I have struggled all my life with weight. I was 160 pounds in the 4th grade when my family found a weight loss clinic in Tampa that would take a 10 year old! It was both a blessing and a curse. I spent the next 12 years taking between 30-40 pills a day. I had a pill to regulate everything. Often the amount of amphetamines I look on a daily basis would be considered extremely dangerous. Of course we didn’t know what I was taking because the good doctor dispensed from his office. Doctors were rarely questioned back in the day and he was no exception. The "good" news was that I was a 105 pounds in the 5th grade and was a normal weight and size thru the school years and college. Although I am happy I didn't have to deal with the awful and mean spirited children anymore, I often wonder what trading acceptability for pills did to my body. When I married my husband of 22 years when I was 23, he begged me to stop taking the pills out of concerned for me. When I finally stopped, the weight started coming back. I went from 150 to 260 in five years. I tried optifast and drank shakes with no real food for 6 months and managed to only lose 45 pounds! I went from 260 - 310 and have been here at this weight for 15 years. I have high BP controlled with meds and newly discovered diabetes (I’m sure I've had it for while).
I've finally have decided I must face my fears. Cancer will be the least of my worries if I don't get my blood sugar and HBP under control. My family loves me and I can't imagine making them grieve for me. With God's help and some support of family and friends, I will beat this. I have too. Thanks for reading this diatribe. I feel better already.
Any advise will be welcome. Anyone who has had the sleeve, please help!
Debbie in Jupiter
