My Jouney Continues...

Jul 23, 2011

My WLS was June 14th, 2007 in Fort Collins, Colorado. Dr. Stefan Pettine is a wonderful surgeon, great support was offered. I was 342lbs on the day of my surgery. At 5'3" I was miserable and sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I do not know what my top weight was, as I had no  scale I had could weigh myself with at that time.  I began this journey many years ago. I know I had gotten very serious about losing weight and did a very strict all protein diet for many months when finally Lovelace Hospital heard of my plight - my humiliation at not being able to even weigh myself... and had one of their maintenance workers bring over a scale to my home so I could weigh myself. I was way too embarassed to go to the postal office or large animal vet clinic, wherever... the humiliation of what I had done to my body was too great.

As an RN I can guess that my top weight was over 400 pounds. Probably a bit more... My first weigh in, reality check,  on that delivered scale was 360lbs.  On my own will power I got down to 275. Still miserable, still out of shape and still feeling humiliated.

Eventually I was inspired by my older brother's success  with losing weight after he had WLS here in Fort Collins at the Rocky Mountain Surgical Associates, who were so very supportive and realistic. My brother worked hard and was thrilled to regain his active lifestyle, his dignity and his health. He has maintained his weightloss now for many years, continues to work hard and enjoy a very active lifestyle. He is doing all he wants today, with no limitations.

I however have had more than a few stumbling blocks, self imposed, I must admit.

I can be a dire warning to anyone, do not do what I did. Listen to your doctors, to their great support staff. Use this website, go to your support groups. Get active, immediately and build upon that each and everyday. Reality checks are a good idea.

Today, 4 years after my surgery which was a success,  I have my 'Little Buddy' to remind me when I am full. I just have to be willing to use it properly and to do the footwork. We all know what that is! Eat protein first. Hydrate, water preferably. Sleep. Exercise.  Getting moving is crucial for me. As is reaching out for support and sharing my story. 

All is not lost here. I simply have to work harder now than ever, since my initial honeymoon phase is long since over. But I am highly motivated and willing to do the work now.

I am keeping goals, attaining short range and working towards long range ones. I have dreams and aspirationns and know I can attain them. And I am finding my voice here, sharing is a big part of my healing process as I had so much shame about what I have done to my God given vessel.

All I have is today. Yesterday is dead and gone and I am out of excuses. I am starting  to share today. Not isolating or shutting down any longer, willing to reach out and share my story, in hopes that I can help another soul on this road less traveled.

Will continue my story, as time permits.... right now, is time for a walk in the sunshine!

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