doxylady9

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Today is one year since my surgery. I am 70 pounds down from my highest weight and restricted more than ever. My surgeon graduated me to appointments every other month. Just in the last month my clothes have begun to hang on me so bad that I am forced to toss them. It's surprisingly hard to toss some of my very favorites! I went to JCPenney (not a specialty store!!!) and got myself a new swimsuit... I could actually wear a Tankini! I need to shop for a dress for a wedding in July, but I think I will wait and see if I get smaller still since this recent fill seems to have kickstarted the weight loss again.

Speaking of weddings... I dug out my wedding dress from 1997 and tried it on... TOO BIG!!! Wow, that really threw some perspective on it. Anybody know someone who needs a size 22 wedding dress? I want it gone. Next up, my prom dress!

Looking over the past year I have had some frustration with plateaus. In hindsight, getting my fills a little more frequently probably would have solved that, but I think my mind was adjusting to the decrease in food. I think I was slowly weaning from the emotional fulfillment of eating. I still struggle with that on special days like date night with my husband or holiday meals. I am still ordering too much at the restaurant and getting too much on my plate at meals. That's hard since I can't stand to waste anything. It's a real accomplishment for me to throw away food. I'm sure this will get easier as time goes on.

I'm six months out today... Still adjusting I guess. I'm up to 6cc and I finally feel the restriction. I was beginning to wonder about that! It seemed like I could eat pretty much anything until I hit the 6cc mark.

I go in next week for my monthly check up. I don't know if I need a fill or not. It kind of scares me to think of it getting tighter. I have had a few episodes this past month of a few minutes of stuck food, but it eventually goes through. I did throw up once, though. The only time I have ever actually thrown up since surgery.  But, I'm not losing anything anymore. I've been stalled for 3 months. So frustrating. Mind you, I'm 60 pounds down from my highest weight, and that's awesome, but I'm nowhere near my goal weight yet.

Mornings are great, coffee and Vita-Band supplements keep me full until about 10am, then I need a little snack before my lunch at 11. Lunch is small, like a bologna sandwich or a small portion of leftovers. But then 3:00 comes... DUN DUN DUUUN.
That's when I get get really hungry and I want sugar and carbs.

I've begun tracking everything on Livestrong.com. It's free and it's an AMAZING tool to track all aspects of your intake/expenditure of calories and even my Glucose readings. I highly recommend it to everyone.

Monday was my first fill. I don't know how much he put in, didn't ask.
I keep hearing, "It doesn't matter how much is in there, what matters is how you feel. Don't get obsessed with how much is in there."

All I know is that I was stuck on the scale and hungry too much. I am 6 weeks out from surgery and never had a fill.
The anxiety over the pain was a whole lot worse than the actual pain. Getting blood drawn hurts worse I think.

I told him that I was going out of state in 5 days, so he said he wouldn't go crazy with the fill and come back in a month.

But, I broke through my plateau this morning! One more pound to hit my goal of being in the 250's by vacation. Yay me! Hope it keeps going! I'm going to be walking/swimming a LOT on vacation, so maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised when I get back and weigh in.

I'm frustrated. I think I'm stalled out. I'm scheduled for a fill on the 14th, so hopefully that will help.

I'm not eating very much at a time, but I get hungry a lot of times during the day, so I find myself "grazing". I'm working hard to make the snacks wholesome and protien-filled (lunch meat and a couple cubes of cheese, refried peans, tuna salad), but nevertheless I am stalled. You would think that with all the diet changes I've made that a stall wouldn't be happening this early.

Oh well, moving on and keep plugging away. Bought a Wii Fit Board and trying to do some exercises on it. It has a cool fitness tracking function and you can design your own workout to focus on certain areas. Fun!

Well, it's done!

I'm on day 12 of band life and let me tell you around day 9 or 10 it all gets better. You start to be able to eat more solid foods and I don't know if it's the anesthesia wearing off or the nutrition you get to have, but energy comes back! My port site is still healing, some burning still and I feel like I've taken a punch there. Some people say they can't feel their port, but I can. Guess that will just take some time to get used to. I'm down by 20 pounds now and I don't see a difference in the mirror, but I can tell by my clothes.

We have a big vacation coming up in 5 weeks to Disney World with the in-laws and the kids. I'm hoping to be down to 250 by then and be able to ride the rides with the kids. That's what this has all been about, the kids. Living longer for them, doing things with them, having energy to enjoy life. I used to love to Rollerblade, I want to do that again.

It's been tough cooking for them and not being able to enjoy the fruits of my labors. Grocery shopping is an adjustment as well while I try to figure out things we can all enjoy. I'm thinking once I get past this healing diet, I will start hitting the local farmer's  market for our produce. That might be fun.

Well, got the nutritional consult done, but my psych consult just got cancelled due to the snow, kinda disappointed about that. Hopefully I can get it rescheduled for tomorrow. I'm feeling sad about the loss of bread and crackers in my life, how am I going to eat my tuna fish salad now? ugh. But, the hope I have that this is going to work overrides the sadness for the loss of bread. Just the hope of losing a bunch of weight is making me smile more and laugh at my husbands silly jokes.

Today I took my Heart and Lung stress test to fulfill one of the insurance requirements. It sounded alot harder than it actually was. I felt like Darth Vader riding a bicycle. The nurse at True Results was very sweet. It was a piece of cake. I schedule my next two steps for next week, the nutrition counseling on Tuesday and the psychological counseling on Thursday.