drwashock
End of month weights:
Jan. 2008 - (down to 264lbs) lost 6 lbs
Feb. 2008 - (down to 254lbs) lost 10 lbs
Mar. 2008 - (down to 247lbs) lost 7 lbs
Apr. 2008 - (down to 226lbs) lost 21 lbs (RNY surgery on 4/21/08)
May 2008 - (down to 210lbs) lost 16 lbs
Jun. 2008 - (down to 196lbs) lost 14 lbs
Jul. 2008 - (down to 191lbs) lost 5 lbs
Aug. 2008 - (down to 181lbs) lost 10 lbs
Sept. 2008 - (down to 175lbs) lost 6 lbs (lost 2 sizes 14 to a 10)
Oct. 2008 - (still at 175) went down to 169 and then bounced around all month
Nov. 2008 - (down to 166) lost 9 pounds and wearing a size 8 :-)
Dec. 2008 - (down to 156) lost 10 pounds still in size 8 but more comfortably
Jan. 2009 - (down to 151) lost 5 pounds but felt like more. I'm in a size 6 now. Changed goal weight from 150 to 135.
Feb. 2009 - (down to 148) lost 2 pounds, another month of bouncing around. I expected it and I'm ok. This is my pre-children weight. I nbw have a normal BMI.
Mar. 2009 - (still at 148)
Apr. 13, 2009 - (139)
April 13, 2008 - I'm stocking up on protein powder and other protein supplements. I've already stocked up on vitamins/supplements crystal light, sf jello and sf pops.
April 14, 2008 - One week before surgery. Met with anesthesia, had ekg, blood work, chest x-ray and vascular ultrasound. All I have left to do is meet with Dr. Dunnican on the 16th.
April 15, 2008 - six days before surgery. I'm officially "obese". I've lost 30 lbs. in preparation of surgery and my BMI has gone from 44.9 to 39.9.
April 16, 2008 - Had my pre-op with Dr. Dunnican. Everything is ready to go on Monday.
April 17, 2008 - Stepped on the scale and have lost 2 more pounds for a total of 32 lbs and I haven't had surgery yet.
April 21, 2008 - Today is the day. I'm scheduled for 11:40 this morning. I've been so busy working and taking care of things that I have not had time to get nervous. Yesterday I was on liquids all day and that reminded me of what I was about to do. I'm going to have my husband take pictures this morning. I hate having my picture taken even knowing that I'm going to be making changes and I have avoided taking any until now and have not wanted to post any. When I look in the mirror not only do I see a fat person I don't recognize I see someone that looks old, washed out and tired. I avoid the mirror so much that I'm shocked when I do see my reflection. Even the days when I put makeup on or do something with my hair I manage to only see the portion of me that I'm working on and not see the entire image. I hate feeling so tired and so old.
April 29, 2008 - I had my surgery. I wasn't very nervous the night before (I'd kept myself extremely busy). We arrived at the hospital on time, checked in and waited. We waited and waited. I was told that the doctors first patient was taking longer then expected; it ended up being three additional hours. The nerves KICKED IN!!! Not only for me but for my husband. He started expressing his concerns and fears and the typical "I don't know why you can't do it on your own." He continued to reinforce that these were his thoughts but no matter what he would support me. (Since I've been home we've discussed this and he said he was getting so nervous wondering why the previous surgery was taking so long and worrying I would have complications.)
I made it through with out a problem!! My husband was there when I woke up (at least when I remember waking up). He helped me walk that night. My husband slept by my side holding my hand each night. I had a very hard time emotionally. I couldn't figure it out, I was contributing it to "buyers remorse". I kept feeling ill and just wanted to die. It wasn't until three days in that I realized that I was having panic attacks. I spoke to the nurse and told her I needed a xanax, she contacted the Dr. and before you know it the clouds began to lift. I went home on Thursday afternoon still fighting off the panic attacks and having to rely on xanax. That lasted for a few days and finally seemed to clear up. I'm not 100% but getting better everyday just like everyone says.
I have not had any issues with my new pouch. I told it I would be good to it so it should be good to me. I was able to drink and take my pills starting the first day without a problem which makes me very happy. I'm having a hard time with the quantity of water but I get better everyday. I just keep making it my priority. I'm keeping track of my intake, supplements, thoughts and feelings. I want to be able to share this with my medical team.
June 7, 2008 - Ok so my pouch decided to make me a liar and gave me some minor issues. She is very tempremental when I eat meats I need to be extra slow and chew extra long and then maybe I can keep it down. It is definitely a crap shoot. I have found it harder to stay on track. I never feel really hungry; no hunger pains, no grum-bellies. I just feel like I want to eat - yup head hunger. This scares me. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I rarely give in to it and when I do I focus on protein foods (my protein is very low still). I try to remember to journal when I have these feelings. Hopefully I'll be able to find out what the triggers are; what works and what does not work. Also I can use the journals when I talk to my counselor, dietician and nut. I'm extremely afraid that I will fail myself. Putting myself and my needs first is very very hard. If I don't figure this out then I'm doomed.
June 15, 2008 - As of today I'm down a total of 64lbs (32 pre-surgery). This is two of my grandson Gage! I spent the day staining my deck; a task I've put off for 4 years because it seemed to overwhelming. I stained from 11:00 am until 5 pm and still have a lot to do but it is looking fantastic. The great part of all of this is that I didn't get tired not even a little. It was hot out and the heat didn't wear me down, standing, squating, sitting on the ground, reaching.... none of it bothered me. I finally stopped because a rain storm came through. There is still a ton to do but it no longer seems so overwhelming. I can't wait to get out and do more. This summer I plan on doing a lot more work on the outside of the house and fixing things that have been bothering me for years but I didn't have the energy or strength to change.
Sept. 14, 2008 - I'm down 92 pounds, it's been going slower but that's ok. I feel great most days. I'm not taking my vitamins as often as I should. I've always been bad about taking meds on time. It's one of my goals and priorities I'm working on right now. I've had a few great WOW's lately. People that didn't recognize me until I got up close (including my husband 
) I'm wearing a size 12 now which I can't remember having worn since junior high. I do know that sizes are different now. I still weigh 30lbs more then I weighed before I had children and at that point I used to wear a 14. I have lost weight in different places so that could be part of it. Either way I feel good, I enjoy getting dressed and looking nice. When I go out I'm not worried about people looking at the fat lady eating too much or at how old and fat I look.
Sept. 30, 2008 - I was able to sit on my rubbermaid 2 step stool to paint my front door and I "fit"!!! The last time I tried to sit on it I didn't stand a chance of fitting. What a great WOW!!
Oct. 11, 2008 - I've had a bit of a stall. I've used this time to start doing better at logging my food and exercising more. Had issues with work and took the time to speak up and make some changes. So far so good.
Oct. 30, 2008 - Still struggling with the stall, still struggling with work. Stress and depression seem to be the name of the game. I'm still working on doing better with journaling and motivating myself to do more exercise. I've made some changes at work but basically I'm still not happy. I'm not sure if it is me that I'm not happy with or my job. I'm going to have to do a lot soul searching on this. Getting out of bed and getting motivated is a chore, staying motivated throughout the day is almost impossible. I have gone back to my counselor but don't know if she is helping. I may try a new counselor, maybe changing things up would help. I did do something different this month. I participated in a murder mystery dinner theatre. This is completely out of my nature. I prefer to blend in and not stand out. I don't like things that call attention to me and interacting with people is not one of my favorite past times. The dinner theatre had two showings. Both nights I participated as a server; waiting on and busing tables, as well as gossiping about the participants in the play (giving hints to the guests). My main part was as the flirtatious barmaid. The first night I was the murderess and the second night I was the reason for the murder, the "chef" wanted me and killed for me. It was a lot of fun.
Jan. 1, 2009 - We moved into our new house on Dec. 23. This house is gorgeous everything in our world is fantastic and couldn't be better..... but I'm suffering from the worsed case of depression that I've ever had. I've been on the verge on being hospitalized three times in the past week. I'm worried because i can't eat, my fluid is way down and taking vitamins is the last thing on my list. My new meds are kicking in so I'm going to work on getting back on track today. I'm so fortunate that I have such a great husband. He has been fantastic helping me out and caring for me.
