DwindlingFlower

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

So on my 2 month surgiversary, I weighed in at 199 lbs and I can not tell you how fantastic that feels. Through this roller coaster of issues and weight since I embarked on my weight loss journey in 2004, it is an amazing to feel like I am finally getting myself back.  Fat really does something to your brain, and how you look and feel about yourself.  It took me a long time with the help of therapy to have my brain catch up with my body when I lost my excess weight with the band.  To go from being fat pretty much all my life to finally being healthy and happy with the way that I looked, it took a long time to train my brain to say yes I am thin, I am no longer fat. Then years later after the slip, when the weight came back, it was the complete opposite, my brain still says Im thin, but when I look in the mirror, I am now fat again, that was crushing, and it really did a number on my self worth and self esteem.  To finally see that the weight is coming off and to know internally that this is a permanent change in my life, to know that FINALLY my brain and body will be in sync again.  I literally burst into tears as my husband hugged me last night.  I finally feel like I am getting myself back, I am rediscovering who I am, and God it feels amazing!! I have another 49 lbs to lose to meet my personal goal, who knows, maybe I will surpass that, but I surely want to meet it again and say hey... how ya been.... I missed you...

So on the 8th I went to see Dr. Pecquex for my two week post op check up.  According to her, everything is going remarkably well, I am losing weight above the curve she expected and I have had absolutely no problems whatsoever.  No stuckness, No nausea, No vomiting, nothing. I am now eating soft foods and still supplimenting with the shakes as I am sure I will do probably for the rest of my life. The first week was really hard, especially since it was the week of thanksgiving, I actually got released from the hospital on Thanksgiving. My husband and I then celebrated Thanksgiving on Friday with his parents, my poor father in law was sick as a dog, so the two of us sat on the couch while mom and Pierce ate their tenderloin at the table. It was rather depressing actually, not because I couldn't eat, but because I felt astrosized, I felt segregated.  Eating a meal with your family is a very intimate and heart-warming thing, and I was saddened that I couldn't be a part of it. Saturday was probably my worst day post op, Pierce came over to hug me on the couch and I just burst into tears, I don't know why, I just started sobbing.  He was so concerned immediately, thought I was in pain or something, which I wasn't, atleast not physically, I just couldn't stop sobbing.  It passed though and now things are great. I feel great, I'm losing the weight, my incision staples are out and I am living life again.  My Heart goes out to Dr. Pecquex, she has really been my rock of support through this whole process since 2004 and I would not be where I am today without her.