earth-angelsc
wednesday January 30, 2008
Jan 30, 2008
SLEEP STUDY * SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE, OK, MAYBE NOT!
I had my sleep study Monday night at Mary Black Hospital. It ranks right up there as one of the wierdest things I have ever be through. We are talking wires everywhere(ok, almost, everywhere, if you get my drift...lol). I don't know exactly how many were attached to my head, but at least ten to estimate. They attach them with this goey gunk that is like gorilla glue, after they measure and draw lines on your head where to attach them!! I had to wash my hair and have NO conditioner, gel, hairspray or anything in it! Boy, don't you know I looked scary! And no make up too! I told her I bet they see some ugly people there! Heck I looked like I had stuck my finger in an exlectrical socket! I had several of those wires on my back, like when you have an EKG done, the little circles attached with sticky pads. Also had those going down to my calves and attached to the outerside. A stretchy belt like thing went around under my arms and above my breasts, another below my breasts and one around my waist. I felt like I was being "hooked up" to be electrocuted! I could not help but think there was no way I was going to sleep with all that crap on and around me! They tell you no caffeine and do not take anything to make you sleepy the day of the test, no pain meds and no sleeping pills, etc.. Also, no naps during the day on the day of testing. Now let me say this, I feel like I stay tired, no matter how much sleep I get! My back hurting usually only allows me to sleep at the most 7-8 hours max before I HAVE to get up and move, otherwise my back will ache so bad I can hardly walk! Not like I get to sleep 7-8 hours at a time often anyway, that would only be when we are lucky enough to get a weekend off. Which, BTW, we closed our booth at the market till after I have surgery and recoperate. So we will have weekends off for a while, YES, thank you Jesus! Anyway, back to the point, so at 6 pm Monday evening I am so ready to fall out. I was sitting here in front of my computer trying to finish up some ebay orders and nodding off! So by the time the very sweet lady named Kia got me all hooked up I was ready for some sleep! I had to watch a video about sleep apnea and fill out a few more papers, lots of paperwork for this test! I had to fill out a whole booklet before I every got there! So I get in the bed and try to comfortable, BUT my back is killing me! I finally get still and get all 6 of my pillows arranged where I need them. YES, I took all 6 of my pillows and my blanket with me...lol..they said bring whatever makes you comfortable...lol...lucky I did not bring my own bed...lol! I usually sleep with a sound machine going(the rain sound, I love it) or with my ear plugs in. So I brought my ear plugs. All in all I got to sleep somewhere around 11 (I THINK). I know I woke up at 1 am and had to go pee. I wondered if there was anyway I could eletrocute myself with all those wires while I was peeing! Thank GOD none ran along the backside and down...lol! Just the front! Anway back to bed I went and finally got comfortable again. Then it seemed like it was no time at all and here she came to wake me up. It was 6:15 and it took till after 7 to get all the wires off and the goey stuff wiped out of my head. I was informed to wash my hair in HOT water to finish removing it. I think things went very smooth. She informed me I definitely have sleep apnea, great, another to add to my list of co-morbidities! She said I stopped breathing an estimated 120 times! She also said when I enter ream sleep I do not stay there long at all, thus the reason I NEVER feel rested no matter how much sleep I get. I was also informed after telling her I had a headache, that the lack of oxygen getting to my brain while I am sleeping is why I often wake up with a headache! So thus the really exciting night was over and results were in! Befor ei left she gave me an appointment to come back on Feb. 3rd to be tested and fitted with a CPAP, oh fun, fun! Can't we just skip this part and go on the the surgery?
On that note, I still have NOT heard form my PCP! I took him the letter and pages to be filled out last TUESDAY the 22nd! He hasn't even taken the time to call and let me know if he is working on it or not! Remember I had asked him to start back on January 4th when I had an appointment with him. The papers I took I took up there last Tuesday were from Dr. Ross's seminar about the 6 month diet history. I also asked him to please write and letter of support and referral for this surgery stating he thought it was medically necessary. According to my insurance I more than qualify! I am going to be so heart broken if something happens and I can't get this surgery, I am sooo tired of being fat! I'll update more when I know more, keep me in your prayers!
I had my sleep study Monday night at Mary Black Hospital. It ranks right up there as one of the wierdest things I have ever be through. We are talking wires everywhere(ok, almost, everywhere, if you get my drift...lol). I don't know exactly how many were attached to my head, but at least ten to estimate. They attach them with this goey gunk that is like gorilla glue, after they measure and draw lines on your head where to attach them!! I had to wash my hair and have NO conditioner, gel, hairspray or anything in it! Boy, don't you know I looked scary! And no make up too! I told her I bet they see some ugly people there! Heck I looked like I had stuck my finger in an exlectrical socket! I had several of those wires on my back, like when you have an EKG done, the little circles attached with sticky pads. Also had those going down to my calves and attached to the outerside. A stretchy belt like thing went around under my arms and above my breasts, another below my breasts and one around my waist. I felt like I was being "hooked up" to be electrocuted! I could not help but think there was no way I was going to sleep with all that crap on and around me! They tell you no caffeine and do not take anything to make you sleepy the day of the test, no pain meds and no sleeping pills, etc.. Also, no naps during the day on the day of testing. Now let me say this, I feel like I stay tired, no matter how much sleep I get! My back hurting usually only allows me to sleep at the most 7-8 hours max before I HAVE to get up and move, otherwise my back will ache so bad I can hardly walk! Not like I get to sleep 7-8 hours at a time often anyway, that would only be when we are lucky enough to get a weekend off. Which, BTW, we closed our booth at the market till after I have surgery and recoperate. So we will have weekends off for a while, YES, thank you Jesus! Anyway, back to the point, so at 6 pm Monday evening I am so ready to fall out. I was sitting here in front of my computer trying to finish up some ebay orders and nodding off! So by the time the very sweet lady named Kia got me all hooked up I was ready for some sleep! I had to watch a video about sleep apnea and fill out a few more papers, lots of paperwork for this test! I had to fill out a whole booklet before I every got there! So I get in the bed and try to comfortable, BUT my back is killing me! I finally get still and get all 6 of my pillows arranged where I need them. YES, I took all 6 of my pillows and my blanket with me...lol..they said bring whatever makes you comfortable...lol...lucky I did not bring my own bed...lol! I usually sleep with a sound machine going(the rain sound, I love it) or with my ear plugs in. So I brought my ear plugs. All in all I got to sleep somewhere around 11 (I THINK). I know I woke up at 1 am and had to go pee. I wondered if there was anyway I could eletrocute myself with all those wires while I was peeing! Thank GOD none ran along the backside and down...lol! Just the front! Anway back to bed I went and finally got comfortable again. Then it seemed like it was no time at all and here she came to wake me up. It was 6:15 and it took till after 7 to get all the wires off and the goey stuff wiped out of my head. I was informed to wash my hair in HOT water to finish removing it. I think things went very smooth. She informed me I definitely have sleep apnea, great, another to add to my list of co-morbidities! She said I stopped breathing an estimated 120 times! She also said when I enter ream sleep I do not stay there long at all, thus the reason I NEVER feel rested no matter how much sleep I get. I was also informed after telling her I had a headache, that the lack of oxygen getting to my brain while I am sleeping is why I often wake up with a headache! So thus the really exciting night was over and results were in! Befor ei left she gave me an appointment to come back on Feb. 3rd to be tested and fitted with a CPAP, oh fun, fun! Can't we just skip this part and go on the the surgery?
On that note, I still have NOT heard form my PCP! I took him the letter and pages to be filled out last TUESDAY the 22nd! He hasn't even taken the time to call and let me know if he is working on it or not! Remember I had asked him to start back on January 4th when I had an appointment with him. The papers I took I took up there last Tuesday were from Dr. Ross's seminar about the 6 month diet history. I also asked him to please write and letter of support and referral for this surgery stating he thought it was medically necessary. According to my insurance I more than qualify! I am going to be so heart broken if something happens and I can't get this surgery, I am sooo tired of being fat! I'll update more when I know more, keep me in your prayers!
Wednesday Jan. 16, 2008
Jan 16, 2008
FAT, FARTS AND FIRST ANNIVERSARY
I'll start off with the best of course, today is mine and Randy's 1st Anniversary! One, wonderful year spent together as husband and wife. Of course we have known each other since 1984. It just took me 22 years to say YES....lol...OK I am a little slow at times...lol...But I thank the LORD for him everyday, he is such a blessing. Our only plans for this evening is the weight loss seminar we have been schedule to go to since Nov. Like my awesome husband said, we can go out to eat at a fancy restuarant anytime, if this is important to you, let's do it! Am I lucky or what?
OH GEEZE, I'M FAT, HELL I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!
Last night my ex called to talk to Jordan our son. If you have been reading my blog, then you know Jordan is my 17 year old and has signed up for the Army NG. Well, when Jordan got off the phone with Keith(his daddy), he looked like he had lost his best friend. I asked "what was wrong"? He simply said "Keith is a DICK". Ok, so I am thinking tell me something I don't know. I was married to his drunk ass for 4 years, with him for a total of 5!
Jordan said he Daddy doesn't think he can handle the NG, that is is not ready for any commitment like that and he is too young to make a decision like that. I was soo pissed! What ever happened to supporting your child in the decisions they make? Jordan came to me wanting to do this, I did not push him. I encouraged him to do what he wants to do. He has goals of his own set and has a bright and beautiful mind he can use to get there. Keith is such a jackass! I called Keith and asked him why he acted that way with Jordan. He pretty much thinks I pushed Jordan into this. I did NOT, he came to me about calling the recruiter and asked that I talk with him. So we set up a time for him to come over. After the recruiter left, I asked Jordan if that was what he wanted and he said yes. He thought about it for like two weeks and did NOT change his mind. So when his recruiter called and said he could take Jordan to Columbia to MEPS and needed my OK, I said OK. Jordan pretty much said that Keith thinks he can't handle it. Keith made the comment the other night that he was pretty much forced into joining the NG or made to leave home. BUT there was a reason behind that, and I don't blame his stepdad for that. Keith made me so mad last night I came so close to telling Jordan why Keith was kicked out. BUT I didn't and don't want Jordan to think of his dad that way. So it was everything I could do to keep my mouth shut! BUT I did, with the Lord's help no doubt. Anyway when I am on the phone with Keith, he tells me that he thinks I pushed Jordan into this and called me lazy and a FAT ASS!!! I said "well it's plain to see I am fat!" BUT I'd rather be FAT than a damn drunk! Why is it when you get into a disagreement with someone, the first thing they want to do is call you FAT? Like hell we didn't know that already! The whole freaking world can see I am FAT, morbidly obese, that is NOT NEW news to me or anyone else! What a jerk! The lazy part bothered me more to tell you the truth. I work 1st and 2nd shift doing home day care and we have a booth at the flea market on weekends, I also sell on ebay...I stay busy and I am NOT lazy! He can kiss my FAT ass! And I told him just that!
FARTS
Yep, the protein shakes will make you toot! I feel like I have the walking farts as one comedian put. I sneeze, I fart, I cough, I fart, I move, I fart...how lucky is that!? That is with only ONE protein shake a day...GOD forbid, what will it be like when I am practically living off of those things! I have read many things about after surgery your breath is aweful and you have gas really bad. Well, I think, the gas is contributed to the gas they pump you full of during surgery and protein shakes! The bad breath no doubt is from your body being in ketosis(burning your fat). Like on the low carb diets, when your breath starts stinking. Anway, bad breath, farts and all, I'm ready let's do this!
Later,
Sheryl
I'll start off with the best of course, today is mine and Randy's 1st Anniversary! One, wonderful year spent together as husband and wife. Of course we have known each other since 1984. It just took me 22 years to say YES....lol...OK I am a little slow at times...lol...But I thank the LORD for him everyday, he is such a blessing. Our only plans for this evening is the weight loss seminar we have been schedule to go to since Nov. Like my awesome husband said, we can go out to eat at a fancy restuarant anytime, if this is important to you, let's do it! Am I lucky or what?
OH GEEZE, I'M FAT, HELL I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!
Last night my ex called to talk to Jordan our son. If you have been reading my blog, then you know Jordan is my 17 year old and has signed up for the Army NG. Well, when Jordan got off the phone with Keith(his daddy), he looked like he had lost his best friend. I asked "what was wrong"? He simply said "Keith is a DICK". Ok, so I am thinking tell me something I don't know. I was married to his drunk ass for 4 years, with him for a total of 5!
Jordan said he Daddy doesn't think he can handle the NG, that is is not ready for any commitment like that and he is too young to make a decision like that. I was soo pissed! What ever happened to supporting your child in the decisions they make? Jordan came to me wanting to do this, I did not push him. I encouraged him to do what he wants to do. He has goals of his own set and has a bright and beautiful mind he can use to get there. Keith is such a jackass! I called Keith and asked him why he acted that way with Jordan. He pretty much thinks I pushed Jordan into this. I did NOT, he came to me about calling the recruiter and asked that I talk with him. So we set up a time for him to come over. After the recruiter left, I asked Jordan if that was what he wanted and he said yes. He thought about it for like two weeks and did NOT change his mind. So when his recruiter called and said he could take Jordan to Columbia to MEPS and needed my OK, I said OK. Jordan pretty much said that Keith thinks he can't handle it. Keith made the comment the other night that he was pretty much forced into joining the NG or made to leave home. BUT there was a reason behind that, and I don't blame his stepdad for that. Keith made me so mad last night I came so close to telling Jordan why Keith was kicked out. BUT I didn't and don't want Jordan to think of his dad that way. So it was everything I could do to keep my mouth shut! BUT I did, with the Lord's help no doubt. Anyway when I am on the phone with Keith, he tells me that he thinks I pushed Jordan into this and called me lazy and a FAT ASS!!! I said "well it's plain to see I am fat!" BUT I'd rather be FAT than a damn drunk! Why is it when you get into a disagreement with someone, the first thing they want to do is call you FAT? Like hell we didn't know that already! The whole freaking world can see I am FAT, morbidly obese, that is NOT NEW news to me or anyone else! What a jerk! The lazy part bothered me more to tell you the truth. I work 1st and 2nd shift doing home day care and we have a booth at the flea market on weekends, I also sell on ebay...I stay busy and I am NOT lazy! He can kiss my FAT ass! And I told him just that!
FARTS
Yep, the protein shakes will make you toot! I feel like I have the walking farts as one comedian put. I sneeze, I fart, I cough, I fart, I move, I fart...how lucky is that!? That is with only ONE protein shake a day...GOD forbid, what will it be like when I am practically living off of those things! I have read many things about after surgery your breath is aweful and you have gas really bad. Well, I think, the gas is contributed to the gas they pump you full of during surgery and protein shakes! The bad breath no doubt is from your body being in ketosis(burning your fat). Like on the low carb diets, when your breath starts stinking. Anway, bad breath, farts and all, I'm ready let's do this!
Later,
Sheryl
Sunday January 13, 2008
Jan 13, 2008
TITS ON THE TABLE!
Ok, this is just absurd! My husband and I go to the Waffle House. Now, we all know Waffle House does not have the healthiest choices of food, that is, other than that half a head of lettuce they serve you and call it a salad! BUT, my big a$$ had to squeeze into the booth and it was very uncomfortable. Maybe, I should have said my big belly. BUT, either way, my tits were on the table!!!!! NOW, I am always having problems feeding the "puppies". I feel I need a bib most of the time. You ladies with big hooters know what I am talking about! No doubt my tits will be the the first thing I loose when I have surgery! But, back to the point. Who in the hell designs these booths? Hello, the waffle House ain't no health club, and you don't often see skinny people eating in there, unless they are drunk and it is 4 in the morning...lol.(Hey, I used to be one of those partying people, back in the day!) Actually it help to keep me smaller, all the dancing. Now I wouldn't be caught dead with my big A$$ on a dance floor. Notice I said smaller, NOT SKINNY, by smaller I mean 200 pounds!) After all, once you get "all this" moving, it is kind of hard to stop! Gives a whole new meaning to "roll with it". So anyway here we sit, at the Waffle House, squeezed into a booth, tits on the table and we order our food. I felt ashamed, to be soo big I barely fit into a booth! I felt like all eyes were on me. I felt like people were thinking, "dang, she needs to be eating a salad" or something of the like. I know some of you reading this can relate. I mean how many times have you walked into a room and sized yourself up against everyone else in the room? I know I do it all the time! I feel like people perceive us differently. Like we are out of control, eat way to much, or just down right slobs! Now true, I have seen, some overweight people who look like they just rolled out of bed, didn't brush their teeth or hair, they have on sweat pants and a big tee shirt with stains on them, holes in them, knowing those sweats had seen their better days a decade ago. NOW, personally the only time you may ever see me look like that, is if I am cleaning house. Oh, heck no! I look better than that cleaning house...lol! Anyway, you get the point. WE ARE PEOPLE JUST THE SAME, WHETHER WE WEIGH 500 POUNDS OR 150! But personaly I would rather weigh 150. It seems so hard to do the simpliest of things these days being 304 pounds. LIKE FIT INTO A WAFFLE HOUSE BOOTH WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU ARE BEING SMOOTHERED BY YOUR OWN BREAST! OK, Waffle House, you get it? Bigger booths! The majority of your customers do not look like they are Mr. & Miss America. If you are going to serve that greasy, fattening food, make the booths fitting for your larger customers! Ok. I am off my soapbox(for now...lol).
Other than that, the weekend has been ok. We had to search for a washer and dryer, or better yet, my brother (the penny pincher) searched for us. He got an awesome deal by doing comparison shopping and price matching. So we have a front loading washer and dryer being delivered tomorrow between 12 and 5 pm. My brother, the money miser, saved us over $500.00! He also says, front loading washers use way less water to wash your clothes and clean just as well if not better than the old top loading ones. Plus our old washer and dryer were over 19 years old and past ready for the appliance graveyard! The dryer died Thursday after many years of "rigging it" and latley it had been making an aweful noise! It died Thursday. RIP! The washer has been on the blink for over a year and we had it straight wired last year when it would fill up but not empty out! The straight wiring has allowed it to work, but it has not been doing such a good job for the past year! I know it sounds silly, to be excited about getting a washer and dryer, BUT I am! Plus these NEW ones are energy efficient! The comparison of the labels from the old and new are like the old would cost like $82. a year to operate (depending on loads and whether electric or gas). The new one says $16. WOW. I know these are only guessimates. BUT still, so cool! Plus to have a dryer actually dry the clothes in 30-40 minutes instead of 2 and 1/2 hours, awesome! YES, I know they should have been replaced a long time ago! Hey, I did hang out clothes all summer! With the help of my wonderful husband. Some days my back just would not allow me to pick that basket up!
I can not wait till I can do these simple things so many people take for granted! To be able to wipe my hinny without feeling like I have to be a contortionist to get the job done! Ok, I'm outta here! Later.....
Ok, this is just absurd! My husband and I go to the Waffle House. Now, we all know Waffle House does not have the healthiest choices of food, that is, other than that half a head of lettuce they serve you and call it a salad! BUT, my big a$$ had to squeeze into the booth and it was very uncomfortable. Maybe, I should have said my big belly. BUT, either way, my tits were on the table!!!!! NOW, I am always having problems feeding the "puppies". I feel I need a bib most of the time. You ladies with big hooters know what I am talking about! No doubt my tits will be the the first thing I loose when I have surgery! But, back to the point. Who in the hell designs these booths? Hello, the waffle House ain't no health club, and you don't often see skinny people eating in there, unless they are drunk and it is 4 in the morning...lol.(Hey, I used to be one of those partying people, back in the day!) Actually it help to keep me smaller, all the dancing. Now I wouldn't be caught dead with my big A$$ on a dance floor. Notice I said smaller, NOT SKINNY, by smaller I mean 200 pounds!) After all, once you get "all this" moving, it is kind of hard to stop! Gives a whole new meaning to "roll with it". So anyway here we sit, at the Waffle House, squeezed into a booth, tits on the table and we order our food. I felt ashamed, to be soo big I barely fit into a booth! I felt like all eyes were on me. I felt like people were thinking, "dang, she needs to be eating a salad" or something of the like. I know some of you reading this can relate. I mean how many times have you walked into a room and sized yourself up against everyone else in the room? I know I do it all the time! I feel like people perceive us differently. Like we are out of control, eat way to much, or just down right slobs! Now true, I have seen, some overweight people who look like they just rolled out of bed, didn't brush their teeth or hair, they have on sweat pants and a big tee shirt with stains on them, holes in them, knowing those sweats had seen their better days a decade ago. NOW, personally the only time you may ever see me look like that, is if I am cleaning house. Oh, heck no! I look better than that cleaning house...lol! Anyway, you get the point. WE ARE PEOPLE JUST THE SAME, WHETHER WE WEIGH 500 POUNDS OR 150! But personaly I would rather weigh 150. It seems so hard to do the simpliest of things these days being 304 pounds. LIKE FIT INTO A WAFFLE HOUSE BOOTH WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOU ARE BEING SMOOTHERED BY YOUR OWN BREAST! OK, Waffle House, you get it? Bigger booths! The majority of your customers do not look like they are Mr. & Miss America. If you are going to serve that greasy, fattening food, make the booths fitting for your larger customers! Ok. I am off my soapbox(for now...lol).
Other than that, the weekend has been ok. We had to search for a washer and dryer, or better yet, my brother (the penny pincher) searched for us. He got an awesome deal by doing comparison shopping and price matching. So we have a front loading washer and dryer being delivered tomorrow between 12 and 5 pm. My brother, the money miser, saved us over $500.00! He also says, front loading washers use way less water to wash your clothes and clean just as well if not better than the old top loading ones. Plus our old washer and dryer were over 19 years old and past ready for the appliance graveyard! The dryer died Thursday after many years of "rigging it" and latley it had been making an aweful noise! It died Thursday. RIP! The washer has been on the blink for over a year and we had it straight wired last year when it would fill up but not empty out! The straight wiring has allowed it to work, but it has not been doing such a good job for the past year! I know it sounds silly, to be excited about getting a washer and dryer, BUT I am! Plus these NEW ones are energy efficient! The comparison of the labels from the old and new are like the old would cost like $82. a year to operate (depending on loads and whether electric or gas). The new one says $16. WOW. I know these are only guessimates. BUT still, so cool! Plus to have a dryer actually dry the clothes in 30-40 minutes instead of 2 and 1/2 hours, awesome! YES, I know they should have been replaced a long time ago! Hey, I did hang out clothes all summer! With the help of my wonderful husband. Some days my back just would not allow me to pick that basket up!
I can not wait till I can do these simple things so many people take for granted! To be able to wipe my hinny without feeling like I have to be a contortionist to get the job done! Ok, I'm outta here! Later.....
Friday January 11, 2008
Jan 11, 2008
PILLOW TALK
I went to the Dr. to have my fasting blood work done this morning. No food or any liquid (except water) after 12 midnight or this morning before the blood was drawn). While there, the nurse asked me about a sleep study the doc and I had discussed earlier. She immediately got on the phone and talked with my insurance and asked if pre-certification was necessary and if it was covered under my pan. They told her no pre-cert was necesary and asked which hospital, she told them. There is NO deductable and NO co pay for this the insurance told her, WOO HOO! By the time I got back home she had called and said we are set for the 28th. I go that evening at 8 and may be there until 8 the next morning. I have a packet to fill out(questionare) I have to take back with me when I go. I go back to the Dr. on the 17th to check out my bloodwork. So moving right along. I was told to bring any blankets or pillows to help make me more comfortable, HOLY COW! They don't know what they are asking? I sleep with 6 pillows, yes you read right 6 pillows! Ok, I know the sleep study is not at home, but we are to make ourselves feel as though we are home. I am used to sleeping with lots of pillows. It is funny to think I used to sleep without ANY pillows when I was smaller, not even ONE under my head. I used to sleep on my stomach and lay my head on my hand. BUT since my stomach has gotten so large, tha tis impossible. It has been like 15 years since I slept on my stomach, maybe longer. Now I have to have two pillows under my head, two between my knees(so my back doesn't hurt), two which ever side I am sleeping on. I can't sleep on my back or my stomach, so my sides are my only choices. I sleep with one pillow under my roll(s) of fat so it doesn't PULL on my back muscles, sounds gross, I know, BUT SO TRUE! Then a pillow on top of that one snuggled up close under my neck and between my chin and boobs. Yes, when I lay down my boobs and chin meet and I feel like I am suffocating! I am sure all this sounds hilarious, BUT I assure it really is not. How did I ever let myself get this big? That is the million dollar question! BUT to have to sleep in a bed full of pillows? Well, I guess things could be worse. At least I have a wonderful husband who does sleep in there with me! I thank God for him everyday. I am truely blessed this time around. Ofcourse it took me long enough! This is my 5th marriage in 23 years! Yes, you read right, my 5th! This peaceful, loving marriage has been well worth the wait. I screwed up enough for a few people by being impatient and not waiting on God. Then, when I least expected, here came Mister Right back in the picture, a man I have known for almost 24 years now. If someone had told me even two years ago we would married and this happy I would have laughed at them. BUT God truely does work in mysterious ways! OK, enough blah blah blah...
I went to the Dr. to have my fasting blood work done this morning. No food or any liquid (except water) after 12 midnight or this morning before the blood was drawn). While there, the nurse asked me about a sleep study the doc and I had discussed earlier. She immediately got on the phone and talked with my insurance and asked if pre-certification was necessary and if it was covered under my pan. They told her no pre-cert was necesary and asked which hospital, she told them. There is NO deductable and NO co pay for this the insurance told her, WOO HOO! By the time I got back home she had called and said we are set for the 28th. I go that evening at 8 and may be there until 8 the next morning. I have a packet to fill out(questionare) I have to take back with me when I go. I go back to the Dr. on the 17th to check out my bloodwork. So moving right along. I was told to bring any blankets or pillows to help make me more comfortable, HOLY COW! They don't know what they are asking? I sleep with 6 pillows, yes you read right 6 pillows! Ok, I know the sleep study is not at home, but we are to make ourselves feel as though we are home. I am used to sleeping with lots of pillows. It is funny to think I used to sleep without ANY pillows when I was smaller, not even ONE under my head. I used to sleep on my stomach and lay my head on my hand. BUT since my stomach has gotten so large, tha tis impossible. It has been like 15 years since I slept on my stomach, maybe longer. Now I have to have two pillows under my head, two between my knees(so my back doesn't hurt), two which ever side I am sleeping on. I can't sleep on my back or my stomach, so my sides are my only choices. I sleep with one pillow under my roll(s) of fat so it doesn't PULL on my back muscles, sounds gross, I know, BUT SO TRUE! Then a pillow on top of that one snuggled up close under my neck and between my chin and boobs. Yes, when I lay down my boobs and chin meet and I feel like I am suffocating! I am sure all this sounds hilarious, BUT I assure it really is not. How did I ever let myself get this big? That is the million dollar question! BUT to have to sleep in a bed full of pillows? Well, I guess things could be worse. At least I have a wonderful husband who does sleep in there with me! I thank God for him everyday. I am truely blessed this time around. Ofcourse it took me long enough! This is my 5th marriage in 23 years! Yes, you read right, my 5th! This peaceful, loving marriage has been well worth the wait. I screwed up enough for a few people by being impatient and not waiting on God. Then, when I least expected, here came Mister Right back in the picture, a man I have known for almost 24 years now. If someone had told me even two years ago we would married and this happy I would have laughed at them. BUT God truely does work in mysterious ways! OK, enough blah blah blah...
Sunday Jan. 6, 2008
Jan 06, 2008
BIG BIRTHDAY BELLY
Well, we went to dinner last night at Olive Garden for my Birthday, the whole family. I got rather frustrated last night trying to get ready to go out. I was huffing, puffing and sweating trying on clothes. Slinging them all over the bedroom, almost to the point of tears, trying to find something I "felt" good in. How can I find something I FEEL good in when I don't feel good in my own skin????!!!! I wanted to cry, but who had time, I'm always late no matter where I go, and this is my Birthday Dinner, I couldn't be late!
I so wanted to fast forward a year or so and be without all this stomach! To wish time away, I know that is aweful, time is a precious thing, BUT I am so tired of living in this prison called my body. I long to be set free. I would be so freaking happy if I can get this done before March, don't see that happening, BUT one can hope. Here are some pics of what I finally decided to wear, can't exactly hide all that damn stomach! BUT hey check out my shoes. Those are just one set of my new toppers my husband bought for my Onesole shoes, I love those babies! I am a shoe-a-holic! I have over 100 paris of shoes no doubt! BUT my favorties are my Onesoles. You buy a bottom(sole) and you can buy seperate toppers to go on them. I got 6 pairs of toppers for my birthday and I have 2 different sets of soles, so eccentually I got 12 pairs of shoes for my birthday, too cool! You snap on and off the toppers, you gotta love that!
DANG look at that BELLY!
I look like a freaking BUDDA doll!
I hate my stomach!
Well, we went to dinner last night at Olive Garden for my Birthday, the whole family. I got rather frustrated last night trying to get ready to go out. I was huffing, puffing and sweating trying on clothes. Slinging them all over the bedroom, almost to the point of tears, trying to find something I "felt" good in. How can I find something I FEEL good in when I don't feel good in my own skin????!!!! I wanted to cry, but who had time, I'm always late no matter where I go, and this is my Birthday Dinner, I couldn't be late!
I so wanted to fast forward a year or so and be without all this stomach! To wish time away, I know that is aweful, time is a precious thing, BUT I am so tired of living in this prison called my body. I long to be set free. I would be so freaking happy if I can get this done before March, don't see that happening, BUT one can hope. Here are some pics of what I finally decided to wear, can't exactly hide all that damn stomach! BUT hey check out my shoes. Those are just one set of my new toppers my husband bought for my Onesole shoes, I love those babies! I am a shoe-a-holic! I have over 100 paris of shoes no doubt! BUT my favorties are my Onesoles. You buy a bottom(sole) and you can buy seperate toppers to go on them. I got 6 pairs of toppers for my birthday and I have 2 different sets of soles, so eccentually I got 12 pairs of shoes for my birthday, too cool! You snap on and off the toppers, you gotta love that!DANG look at that BELLY!
I look like a freaking BUDDA doll!
I hate my stomach!
Friday January 5, 2008
Jan 04, 2008
I talked with our insurance company today Empire BCBS. They gave me the reguirements for surgery approval. Still looking over those, but best I can tell I more than qualify. I have an appointment with PCP today, I will write more later.
Sheryl
Just got back from my PCP, he seemed so thrilled today(NOT), come to find out he was sick as a dog. It would have been nice for him to say so instead of chomping on a cough drop(I thought it was candy, since I didn't smell it...you know like like the way Hall's smells) and looking like I was boring him to death! I don't think he wrote much thing down in my chart. He is ordering fasting blood work and they are checking to see my insurance will cover a sleep study. As embarassing as it is, I confided in him about when I sneeze or cough how I wet myself. It is never much, and I can get by with wearing a panty liner (thank GOD), but it is bothersome none the less! I feel a little embarassed even mentioning this, but I know most people on here have had problems due to obesity and this can be one of them, so we ARE keeping it REAL...lol.
So, I go for my fasting blood work next Friday morning at 10:30. He didn't seemed to thrilled to write a letter for me about all the reasons I NEED this surgery. Maybe it was because he just didn't feel good today, I hope that was why. Until next time, Sheryl
Sheryl
Just got back from my PCP, he seemed so thrilled today(NOT), come to find out he was sick as a dog. It would have been nice for him to say so instead of chomping on a cough drop(I thought it was candy, since I didn't smell it...you know like like the way Hall's smells) and looking like I was boring him to death! I don't think he wrote much thing down in my chart. He is ordering fasting blood work and they are checking to see my insurance will cover a sleep study. As embarassing as it is, I confided in him about when I sneeze or cough how I wet myself. It is never much, and I can get by with wearing a panty liner (thank GOD), but it is bothersome none the less! I feel a little embarassed even mentioning this, but I know most people on here have had problems due to obesity and this can be one of them, so we ARE keeping it REAL...lol.
So, I go for my fasting blood work next Friday morning at 10:30. He didn't seemed to thrilled to write a letter for me about all the reasons I NEED this surgery. Maybe it was because he just didn't feel good today, I hope that was why. Until next time, Sheryl
Thursday January 3, 2008
Jan 03, 2008
Well yesterday was quiet an eventful day. I turned the BIG 40! Not what I imagined. I mean that as in I didn't want to be 40 and fat! Ok, so call it what you want: obese, fluffy, horizonally challenged, it's all the same thing. I don't like it! Why is it turning of a NEW decade in age makes us reflect on our accomplishments or lack there of? Of course I always wanted to make it to 40, duh! BUT being overweight is such a hardship on my body. Pictures of me from just 5 and 10 years ago still show an overweight person, but my body has taken it's toll of caring around all this weight! I am constently aching somewhere, (not to whine). I feel I am active for being this size. BUT, just the other night in bed, I was talking to my husband, I really feel if I don't get a handle on this issue of my weight and loose it, I am looking at being immobile in years to come! I really feel that. My knees ache and swell when I do any amount of walking. My back is constantly hurting, sometimes a lot more than others. I have pretty much learned to deal with that and only take pain meds when I can hardly walk and if am bent over like an old lady. I am sure the weight is the reason for my back hurting. It didn't hurt like this in my younger days when I weighed less. My hips hurt when I walk(don't know how else to discribe it). It is an ache like my joints need oiling or something! I take Toprol XL for my blood pressure, which I think is messing with my memory as well. I take meds for reflux. I want off all of this! Before being in the hospital with my heart in 1996 at the young age of 28(yes you read right). I wasn't on any medications EXCEPT freaking Doctor prescribed diet pills! Always chasing that dream of being little and lean! Yes Phen Phen did it again! I lost weight, gained it back and more with heart problems too, wasn't that great? I have always said after seeing my mother flub up several weight loss surgeries, that this was something I would never do. That I had the will power to control this giant called obesity, but I have been losing the battle for soo long, I need this "tool" to help me gain control and get my life back. I too, used to think this surgery was "the easy way out". BUT after reading and doing my research and seeing how and why my mother's did not work way back in the 70's and in 1980, I now know differently. I am desperate to get my life back and this is a last resort. I have tried Nutra System, American Medical Weight Association, Weight Watchers, Healthy Weigh, Slim Fast, Atkins, South Beach, shots, and many more including the wonderful YET not a permanat solution diet pills, prescription and OTC. The time has come to surrender and make REAL progess for a pemanant weight loss. The only way I see possible for this is WLS and changing my lifestyle with my "tool" that weight loss surgery gives us. I have read and researched so much, my husband I should be as knowlegable as the doctors doing the surgery!.....lol I look at it like this, you ain't cutting on me until I know what I am getting myself into!
Another big event yesterday was my youngest son Jordan signed up for the Army National Guard. He is only 17, but the plan is this: He drills one weekend a month till school is out for the summer, then he goes to Boot Camp (9 weeks). Once home, school will start for his Senior year and he will go back to drilling one weekend a month till he graduates 12 grade. After graduating 12th grade he will go to AIT training. Once done with that he goes on with the College First program. During his freshman year he signs up with ROTC again and goes four years of College. During his Jr. year of college he starts the comissioning program and when he graduates his Senior year from college he will be a 2nd Lt. I am so proud of him for making this decision. It is refreshing to see a young man that has his future planned out. I mean I know things are subject to change. But Jordan has a good head on his shoulders, he is a very smart young man(if I do say so myself...lol) and I so want him to do something with his life and have a future, retirement benefits, insurance and such! I have struggled my entire life to raise two boys, pay the bills and I have NO retirement plan. I have been 15 years without health insurance! That just took effect on the first of this year! People with insurance have no idea what a priviledge it is to have. Yes, it is costing us a great deal of money, BUT is was available through my husband's work and my only hope of getting this WLS. So we bit the bullet and went ahead with it. Of course I asked first if they cover this surgery before I decided to waist our money...lol.
Ok, and also yesterday my Bariatriceating.com sample protein pack came in. (See pic if interested) I already had her book and that is where I found out about her website. If you haven't read Susan's Before and After book, it is great. It has lots of receipes in it for post op patients and I think it will be a real asset after surgery when looking to cook something I can eat. It is just ONE of the MANY books I have read concerning this surgery. I am NOT going into this blind....lol
Ok, enough rambling. I'm off here for now. BTW I love hearing from all the pre-op and post-ops, this is a journey we are all taking or in hopes of taking, and friends make the journey easier, thanks for all your support, you are a great bunch of people, GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Sheryl
Another big event yesterday was my youngest son Jordan signed up for the Army National Guard. He is only 17, but the plan is this: He drills one weekend a month till school is out for the summer, then he goes to Boot Camp (9 weeks). Once home, school will start for his Senior year and he will go back to drilling one weekend a month till he graduates 12 grade. After graduating 12th grade he will go to AIT training. Once done with that he goes on with the College First program. During his freshman year he signs up with ROTC again and goes four years of College. During his Jr. year of college he starts the comissioning program and when he graduates his Senior year from college he will be a 2nd Lt. I am so proud of him for making this decision. It is refreshing to see a young man that has his future planned out. I mean I know things are subject to change. But Jordan has a good head on his shoulders, he is a very smart young man(if I do say so myself...lol) and I so want him to do something with his life and have a future, retirement benefits, insurance and such! I have struggled my entire life to raise two boys, pay the bills and I have NO retirement plan. I have been 15 years without health insurance! That just took effect on the first of this year! People with insurance have no idea what a priviledge it is to have. Yes, it is costing us a great deal of money, BUT is was available through my husband's work and my only hope of getting this WLS. So we bit the bullet and went ahead with it. Of course I asked first if they cover this surgery before I decided to waist our money...lol.
Ok, and also yesterday my Bariatriceating.com sample protein pack came in. (See pic if interested) I already had her book and that is where I found out about her website. If you haven't read Susan's Before and After book, it is great. It has lots of receipes in it for post op patients and I think it will be a real asset after surgery when looking to cook something I can eat. It is just ONE of the MANY books I have read concerning this surgery. I am NOT going into this blind....lol
Ok, enough rambling. I'm off here for now. BTW I love hearing from all the pre-op and post-ops, this is a journey we are all taking or in hopes of taking, and friends make the journey easier, thanks for all your support, you are a great bunch of people, GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Sheryl
Thursday Dec. 27, 2007
Dec 27, 2007
WOW, today has been a wipeout! I had the most terrible migraine I've had in a LONG time! I am NOT one to take pills at the drop of a hat. I took an ibuprophen 800 mg first thing this morning upon rising from bed, my head was throbbing! Two hours later I took a Midrin(sp?) and another again 3 hours later, still had a throbbing headache at 3 this afternoon. Finally when my DH got home I took a loratab and hit the sack! Finally at 7:30 tonight it was gone! Thank you JESUS! Now I just feel like I have been hit by a mack truck. These headaches/migraines wipe me out. I feel useless afterwards. BUT at least it is gone(hopefully). I tried calling the Dr. office, but he is on vacation untill Monday, figures! Anyway, just a few more days till insurance coverage. I am wiped out and going to bed.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
Dec 25, 2007
Merry Christmas everyone! Christmas just seems weird having only one child here, and he is a 17 year old! So, no little ones dragging us out of bed at 3 in the morning. No, "Did Santa come yet"? But hey, maybe if I am lucky I will live to see grandkids someday, and we can do the whole excitement thing of Christmas again! Of course the reason for season is NOT gifts or kids ripping open gifts, but rather the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, thus CHRISTmas. Nothing irks me more than people trying to take Christ out of Christmas!!!!!!! If you don't beleive in Christ then why should you celebrate CHRISTmas at all? Happy Holidays, my butt! A Holiday Tree? Get REAL! It is CHRISTmas people, CHRISTmas!!!! OK, I will get off my soapbox for now! 
Well almost another year gone! Before long the dreaded new years resolutions! OK, how many times have I made that same NY's resolution to lose weight? Let's see how old am I now? Almost 40(I will be the BIG 40 on Jan. 2). So at least 15-18 times no doubt! But my NYR this year will be to get approval for WLS! Of course with that said, I realize I will have to do my part to make this whole thing a success. I have read enough about this surgery to practically be an expert on it. My best window of opportunity for weight loss will be within the first 6 months(6-12 for most). So I am planning on doing everything to maximize the weigth loss during this time. Hopefully there will be less of me by this time next year!
BTW, let me say my life by no means sucks! I am married to a most wonderful man. I have two sons of my own 17 and 22 years old. Yes I started young.
I have two beautiful stepdaughters, ages 16 and 19. Three dogs: a Yorkie and two Chichihuas. The only thing that could possibly make my life better would be to be to lose about 150+ pounds! This is mainly for health reasons, to have more energy and live life rather than feel it is passing me by. I read so many posts on here where people are doing so many things they never would have thought of doing being obese. I can so relate! Only a few more days till I will have insurance, Jan. 1st. I guess that is it for now, we are headed over to Mom's for Christmas Dinner, hopefully my last Christmas dinner as an OBESE person!
Well almost another year gone! Before long the dreaded new years resolutions! OK, how many times have I made that same NY's resolution to lose weight? Let's see how old am I now? Almost 40(I will be the BIG 40 on Jan. 2). So at least 15-18 times no doubt! But my NYR this year will be to get approval for WLS! Of course with that said, I realize I will have to do my part to make this whole thing a success. I have read enough about this surgery to practically be an expert on it. My best window of opportunity for weight loss will be within the first 6 months(6-12 for most). So I am planning on doing everything to maximize the weigth loss during this time. Hopefully there will be less of me by this time next year!
BTW, let me say my life by no means sucks! I am married to a most wonderful man. I have two sons of my own 17 and 22 years old. Yes I started young.
I have two beautiful stepdaughters, ages 16 and 19. Three dogs: a Yorkie and two Chichihuas. The only thing that could possibly make my life better would be to be to lose about 150+ pounds! This is mainly for health reasons, to have more energy and live life rather than feel it is passing me by. I read so many posts on here where people are doing so many things they never would have thought of doing being obese. I can so relate! Only a few more days till I will have insurance, Jan. 1st. I guess that is it for now, we are headed over to Mom's for Christmas Dinner, hopefully my last Christmas dinner as an OBESE person! TUESDAY DECEMBER 18, 2007
Dec 18, 2007
Well, let's see. There has been a lot going on here. First off, my husband Randy & I, went to a support group meeting at SRMC on Dec 11, 2007. It is a WLS support group, mostly of Dr. Ross' patients I gather. Everyone there was so nice and answered any and all questions I had. I asked a lot! I was so impressed by their friendliness and willing to help. I meet Angie the office "ANGEL". She is the insurance lady. I also meet a lady who was almost my step sister when I was little. Her Mom and my dad dated when we were kids! It is a small world! Her name is Debra and she has had the surgery and lost around 185 pounds, all in the first 11 months after surgery and has kept it off, she is 18 months out from her surgery. She said it is the best decision she ever made and doesn't regret it one bit! I can't wait till I can say that! Seeing all these people losing was such a great inspiration! I have been so phyched since then!
Also I found out Friday the 14th our insurance policy DOES NOT have a pre-existing clause so with a Dr. recommended letter (and all the other nessecary paper) work I should be ok. I have been told it does have to be Dr. recommend, which my Dr. has already told me I more than qualify with my BMI at 50 and having hypertention, sleep problems, knee problems, and the list goes on and on! I will have coverage on Jan. first and I know first off I need to get some teeth fixed, I have heard if you have bad teeth they won't operate on you. I have a few filling that have fallen out and need to be replaced and a chipped tooth or two to be pulled. So I plan on getting that out of the way as soon as possible. My husband and I are going to Dr. Ross' WLS Seminar in Jan. It is on the 16, our ONE year anniversary! I told my husband I know this is not the way he wanted to spend our 1st anniversary, BUT this means so much to me, I want to do it asap. He is so sweet! I love that man with all my heart! He is so good to me! So we are also going to the support group meeting on the 8th of Jan,they are having a speaker there on cosmetic surgery after drastic weightloss. That should be interesting, as I am sure I will have an apron left after lossing so much weight! It is kind of weird, knowing I am going to get this surgery, come hell or high water, I have allowed my picture to be taken with MUCH delight this Christmas, I have to have some good before pictures!...lol..
I have been reading Susan Leach's Book "Before and After". Very informative. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about this surgery! I am soo ready! I am praying this can be done sometime within the first two months of the new year. I would so love to be down at least 100 pounds by Christmas of 08!
All the reading has really informed me on how I need to make this work for me. No liquids during meals, about 3-5 bits per meal once we can have solids, plenty of water in between meals. Vitamins, calcuim and staying active as the weight comes off. I am learning from the "others" mistakes. I WILL make this work for me!
My husband has voiced his concerns about the surgery health wise for me. BUT understands that I do NOT fell like I am living now, just barely breathing till I can get this done! I feel like I am trapped in a body that is not mine, I am sure I am not the first to think or feel that. He is scared, I think, of my getting little and other men paying me attention, of course I have NEVER had a lack of that even with my being BIG! Just be more attention from those guy who have a problem with BBWS's (BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMEN). I have heard all my life you have such a pretty face if you would/could only lose some weight! Geeze, how I have gotten so tired of hearing that! BUT I do give credit to the guys who know we are still people even if we do weigh 300+ pounds! I have never had a problem getting a man, just problems getting rid of them! My husband now is a dream husband! He takes care of me and I don't mean just working and helping pay the bills! He looks after me like no man ever has. He babies me when I am sick and rubs icy hot on back when it hurts. He said he is probably the only man on the planet who gets turned on by icy hot!
He isn't kidden' either! I feel sometimes I need to peel him off of me. I wonder what it will be like after surgery! We both have jobs and work Monday through Friday. I do day care and he operates a forklift at a packaging plant. We work long and hard hours all week long and own a personalized business at the local market we work on weekends. So we spend time together every evening and on the weekends. Probably a lot more time together than most couples. BUT we are so "in love" and we don't get on each others nerves, at least not in the past year anyway....lol..
We dated in high school very briefly, so he has known me at 134 pounds and now at 305 and he still loves me! He said he doesn't see me the way I see myself. He thinks I am beautiful and sexy, I am glad he does! I have my moments...lol. BUT I know I will feel sexy when I am smaller and not so bulky! Hard to feel sexy when you weigh 305!
I must admit this Christmas party we went to on Friday was fun. BUT I found myself wondering how much MORE fun I would be having if I were dancing like other people were. I stayed sitted most of the evening, my back hurt and my ankles. I couldn't help but wonder if I was the biggest woman in the room. I always do that to myself when I go somewhere, I feel poeple are sizing me up. There were two other ladies there of considerable size, but neither were as big as I am, or so I think. My husband said one was larger, but I don't think so! Isn't it crazy how our minds work and play tricks on us! I just kept thinking "ok, next year, this will be lots more fun!" I mean everybody was really nice to me and friendly, but I felt like a blimp! Even in my pretty, blue, lace dress, which hides a multitude of sins! My husband told me I looked very nice, BUT he'd say that if I was in a burlap sack! Or naked! Thank GOD for him! Well I have rattled on for way too long. I definitly need to keep up with this more often. I find myself on the site everyday looking at before and afters and I can't wait till I am one of them! BUT finding time to put my thoughts down is another thing. We I'm out of here, I'll keep everyone posted on updates, tests, or whatever! God Bless you all and Merry CHRISTmas!
Sheryl
About Me
Spartanburg, SC
Location
32.6
BMI
Surgery
03/25/2008
Surgery Date
May 21, 2007
Member Since
