ebs1078

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 I am finally post op. I had my lap band surgery on June 25th of this year without any complications. I walk everyday. I haven't had a huge support system but my girlfriend is better than having 10 people. She took care of me from the Recovery Room until the present and beyond. I couldn't ask for much more. I have lost 13lbs since surgery and 31lbs since August. It isn't much but it is better than nothing. I am just trying to work this band and be successful in my weight loss. 

Hello everyone, I haven't blogged in so long. A lot has happened since my last post in April of this year. I was bullied in college and retaliated leaving me suspended from the university until January 2012, my PCOS has gotten worse, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with and was still seeing and speaking to has moved to China, I have been homeless, I am unemployed, my depression has spiraled out of control, and I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. So yeah, I have had a pretty eventful 5 months or so. I have changed some of my doctors and I finally got a consultation with a surgeon that takes my insurance (YAY!!!!!). Right now I weigh between 240 and 245 lbs. depending on the day and time of month. There are times that I can go up to 250 lbs. I know some of you may be thinking "that isn't much." I tried diet and exercise, I tried weight loss pills, I tried seeing a nutritionist, I got checked for thyroid issues, oh and the best part is that I no longer can exercise. For about 2 years I have dealt with the debilitating dizzy spells, nausea, headaches, faintness, fatigue, and various symptoms of idiopathic intracranial hypertension without knowing. Every time I would try to exercise, I would feel like fainting. I would have to sit down for ten minutes to wait for the dizziness, faintness, and balance issues to subside. Exercising is like h&** for me. Right now my only option is to have this surgery, and I finally have all of my doctors on the same page as me.

So as of today, I am 248 lbs. This number depresses me greatly. I remember the days when I was a size 12 and hot. Right now I look and feel like a fat cow. I am only 23 years old, and I find that I feel like I am more like 60. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have arthritis so, I wake up in pain. My hips hurt; my ankles hurt; my knees hurt; my shoulders hurt; my back hurt and there is nothing I can do. I currently am not on any pain meds because I don't like the many side effects associated with them. I was diagnosed with PCOS about 5 years ago and ever since life has been a living hell.

PCOS has stripped ever ounce of femininity that I had from me. I grow hair in strange places and my skin is horrible. I have lost any self-esteem and self confidence that I had. I have stretch marks in places that weren't there before. My face is changing with each passing year. My skin is dry as sand paper. PCOS has blessed me with major depression. I no longer see the positive in anything. I am always down. I do not like the person that I see in the mirror. I do not know what happened to the person that I once knew. I recently went to the doctor and she told me that I was borderline hypothyroid. This totally confused me because nobody in my family suffers from thyroid issues. I always go to my Endocrinologist and to have my thyroid stop working in 3 months time is crazy to me. I just want to have surgery already.