egbotwin
Week 1 Decision Made
Sep 11, 2009
Not an easy decision. Actually, it was years in the making. I first went through the Lapband which did not really work for me. However, the fear of having Gastric Bypass was finally outweighed (pun intended) by the pain in my back and knees. I just wanted to be like a regular person. I wanted to be comfortable and not worry any more about fitting in an airline seat or a restaurant booth. Only heavy people think about that. Thin people have no clue.Pre-op testing included seeing a cardiologist to have an EKG, Chest X-Ray and Stress Test. All clear! Blood work was interesting...they took 16 vials of blood for all types of things I would have never thought of! I told the lady she should just take a pint and fill up each vile while I was gone. At least this way I'd get a sticker and a cookie!
One week before surgery I have to eat mushy foods and liquids. Not so bad.
I get a call on Friday, August 21st that they're moving the surgery up to Monday the 24th instead of Tuesday the 25th! Happy Anniversary to me and Rob!
The range of emotions I went through on the day of surgery could have filled Roget's Thesaurus. I was eager, anxious, nervous, excited - you name it, that was me!
I put on the adorable gown and little grey socks. They don't match, but I decided not to make a big deal about it. The funny looking shower cap goes over my hair (freshly washed because God forbid I have surgery with dirty hair). The nurse comes in and puts the IV in my left hand and wishes me good luck. Now they wheel me to the pre-surgical room where I wait some more. I see all of the doctors that will be seeing me naked! I try to be my most charming.
Finally it's showtime and I kiss Rob and I'm wheeled to surgery. It's freezing in that room. I guess it's to keep the doctors awake so that's fine with me. We joke around a little and then I'm asked to start counting backward...
Someone is calling my name and waking me up! What the hell... it's the best and deepest sleep I've had in a while! Oh, now I remember... I was in surgery. It's all over and they're wheeling me to post-op. I'm Alive!
The only pain I feel is my back spasming from lying on the flat table for four hours! They give me some morphine based drug and the pain subsides. I'm now wheeled to my hospital room on the fourth floor. I just read a James Patterson novel where a nurse is killing the patients on the fourth floor. I try to ignore the thoughts going through my head!
I stayed in the hospital from Monday through Wednesday. It wasn't unpleasant. I discovered that I have a very efficient system. When in the hospital, every bodily function becomes groundbreaking news. Did you poop? Can you poop? Do you have gas? Can you pass gas? What about urine output? Can you pee? How much do you pee? It's like being in kindergarten again. Suffice it to say, I was doing good.
The other issue is that there is some evil plan by the nursing staff to not let you sleep through the night. Every hour or so someone came into the room to take my temperature, my blood pressure, my blood, my pulse ox, my sanity. One night the nurse woke me up to tell me that I had to walk around the floor because my heartrate was too low (in the 30's). So at 2 or 3 in the morning, me and my IV had a lovely stroll.
So that no one contemplating this sugery panics, just know that I came out 10 lbs heavier than when I went into the hospital. However, I am pretty sure that's because of the fluids they've been pumping into me. Just looking at my left hand tells me that I'm bloated... it looks like a cartoon hand... all chubby with dimples where the knuckles should be.
Home! The best word in the world! My own bed! I'm sent home with instructions of what to eat and what not to do. No bending, no lifting, nothing strenuous. I have a drain plug coming out of my belly. Gross! But I deal. Until I see the Dr. I can only eat sugar free jello, sugar free ice pops, and clear broth. In between I have to sip water. I wake up to pee about 5 times a night.
On Friday, I decide that I'm strong enough to do laundry. I ask Rob to take the Laundry downstairs so that I only have to put the clothing into the washing machine. One would have thought I asked him to unravel an age old mystery. I simply asked him to put the laundry from the hamper into the laundry bin and bring it down stairs. Apparently that was too much for him. He eyeballed it and determined that the clothing in the hamper wouldn't fit into the laundry bin so he had to bring the entire hamper downstairs. Okay fine. I don't have the strength to tell him that I do this all the time. I bring the the empty laundry bin downstairs. I go to the laundry room to find that he dumped all of the clothing ON TOP of the washing machine! Shall I tell you that this man has an IQ of over 140 and is a member of MENSA? I call him and ask him how did he expect me to do the laundry when all of the clothing was on top of an empty washing machine and God only knows what his answer was because at that point all I heard was Wah wah wah wah wah! I made him stand there while I put all of the clothing into the laundry bin (he had already brought up the hamper) and miraculously most of the clothing fit in with just a few falling to the floor! I proceeded to do the darks first making him bend down everytime something fell to the floor. I enjoyed the power.
On Saturday I felt strong enough to make food for my family. I made a delicious (I'm guessing as I didn't taste it) meat sauce with chopped up peppers, garlic, mushrooms - yum! However, that was exhausting enough for me and when It was done, I was resting on the couch. Rob decided to make himself a bagel with lox. Unfortunately, he couldn't locate the cream cheese. Apparently if it is not directly in front of him, it doesn't exist. He's now ranting about how the kids ate all of the cream cheese. I told him (from the couch), no Rob, there's cream cheese there behind stuff on the top shelf of the fridge. It's not there! You're actually going to make me get up aren't you? So I get up (I tried to limp a little to make him feel bad, but who am I kidding), remove the yogurt from the top shelf, find the two tubs of cream cheese, put the yogurts back and go back to the couch. I must have psychic powers. He then insists that there was cream cheese and someone threw it out. Do I really care? He has two tubs full, use them both on the bagel for all I care! About an hour later, he is redeamed because he went through the trash and found a tub of cream cheese in there. Apparently one of my kids threw it out thinking it was moldy, but it was just breadcrumbs on the top of the cream cheese! Eureka, we've been saved and Rob keeps his position of always being right.
That evening, we have some friends over and we're chatting around the kitchen table when Rob complains that he didn't have dinner. I said... "why don't you eat the meat sauce and spaghetti in the fridge." He then claims that there is none left, the kids ate it all and he wants to get a pizza! You've got to be kidding! I used two pounds of meat in that meat sauce. There's no way the kids ate it all (although my son can consume mass quantities in a single feeding). He opens the fridge and insists that there is no meat sauce and no spaghetti. I say..."You're going to make me get up, aren't you?" However, with that, one of our friends tells me to sit. He gets up and goes to the fridge and proceeds to take out a couple of tupperware containers... one containing the meat sauce and one containing the spaghetti. Rob starting making excuses but again I only heard wah wah wah wah wah wah.
Sunday is a good day, but I'm really beginning to feel like I'm starving. I can't wait until I see the Doctor on Tuesday, September 1st
Monday morning August 31st, 1 week after the surgery I get a call from the Dr's office asking me if I can come in a day early. The earlier they take out the drain plug, the sooner I can increase the list of foods I can eat. Hell yeah!