Documenting

Oct 04, 2009

This morning my husband took my "before" pictures. I tried to choose clothing that could be replicated at any weight so that my "after" pictures are comparable, at least in the colors I'm wearing. I've noticed a few people on here have done that, and it's really easy to see the difference with the same colors on.

I'm still trying to imagine what it's going to be like once I start losing the weight after surgery, but it's hard for me to wrap my head around it. I mean, to actually think of me becoming thin. Because that's always been an uphill, losing battle for me.

My husband is also thinking about having surgery. He has diabetes and high blood pressure and sleep apnea, and is always achy. I think it would be a good choice for him. I even brought him a new patient packet so he could get started paying homage to the bureaucrats, but he hasn't started it yet. I could fill it out for him and get the ball rolling, but I don't feel right about that. He has to want to do it, and I think he needs to go through the process of getting himself ready in order to be in a healthy place mentally for the surgery. I really do believe that going into it halfheartedly or with misgivings increases the chances of complications. I just think mind over matter really is a force not to be tampered with. Because the mind is a powerful thing, and why make the aftermath of the surgery - essentially having your guts rearranged - any worse than it has to be?

Having said all of that, I haven't had the surgery so I can't really speak to the experience much. I just know what has been true for me over the course of my personal history with surgery.

I'm *really* excited. I want to feel better and live better and look better! I want to be able to do a photo shoot and not feel ugly!

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