fat2fit2012

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My surgery was on Tuesday the 5th.  I had a rough first 30 hours or so caused by the pain medicine and having a surgery twice as long as the normal time.  I had a lot of scar tissues from upper abdominal surgeries when I was a child that they needed to get rid of to access my stomach.  The surgery went well but the 24 hours following the surgery and recovery were hard.  The pain medicine made me nauseous and made me dry heave one time - my husband and the surgeon said I looked green.  I could not do anything but sleep and rest.  I didn't use my laptop. iPhone, watch TV or anything until the next evening, and I could only watch about 40 minutes of TV.  

I began to fill so much better in the late evening and was ready to be discharged the next morning.  I left the hospital a little after 1:00 on the 8th and returned home with my husband to his parents and my two children.  His parents flew from Florida to take care of my children while I healed.  They came about a week before surgery and are leaving tomorrow just a week after my surgery.  They have been so helpful!I haven't folded clothes, cooked dinner or done dishes since they've been here!  It's been heavenly.

Friday and Saturday I took it pretty easy and napped quite a few times.  The only outing I had was for 30 minutes to attend a performance of my daughter's at her school mid-afternoon Friday.  On Sunday I finally made it out of the house and drove to a nearby grocery store to get a few things for myself.  It felt great to get out.

Today (Monday) I woke up early and was very active.  I never felt the need to take a nap and now at 11:00. I still feel great.  I went to see my surgeon today and was cleared to exercise.  I took my in-laws and the kids to a local play place/cafe to let the kids play and then I went to Ikea and walked around for an hour with my MIL.  Before we ventured out for the day I locked us out of the house as we were getting in the car.  I called a friend around the block and RAN there and back! 

My BodyMedia band says I've burned over 2700 calories today!  I've only taken in 508 calories so that's a great deficit. 

Well, I am off to bed so good night everyone!  I hope to wake up tomorrow and see a 219 (or less) on the scale for a total of 3 pounds down during my first week. 

I am only two days away and so excited!  It's hard to fall asleep at night with my mind racing.  I keep having new realizations, the last of which was that I am actually going to lose weight and continue losing weight and be able to keep it off!  I know it will take hard work and commitment but as most of us know every time we've lost weight before we worked hard and committed, but the absence of this tool made it impossible to sustain a low calorie diet for an long period of time, let alone maintain the weight loss.

I can't wait to feel attractive again.  I remember feeling attractive when I was younger and I miss that.  I have confidence in every other area of my life but I feel horribly unattractive.  My pretty face has been taken over with fat and the heavy body below it camouflage it even more.  I have no doubt my husband loves me, but I was 40-50 pounds thinner (180 lbs) when we met.  Even at 180 I was very overweight for 5'2", but the distribution of the weight wasn't so bad.  I am really looking forward to being the cute little wife I've always dreamed of being.  He's 5'10 and 175, so he's relatively thin and I hate being bigger than him, it makes me feel less feminine.  I can't wait to go shopping and buy cute clothes from any store, not just plus-size stores or the women's section of Walmart. I am so excited to go shopping in my closet too! I am a professional with a closet full of nice suits that don't fit me anymore.  I wear the same two pair of pants mixing those with a myriad of shirts and covering myself up with the same black cardigans or suit jackets.

I still have a few more things to get before the surgery today and tomorrow.  I am also looking forward to treating myself to a mani/pedi tomorrow!  I'm still not nervous either!

It's Saturday morning and I am sitting here drinking my coffee (the only 'off-plan' item on my skim milk pre-op diet) with a house full of family and the kids running around.  I am ready for Tuesday and so thankful for my busy weekend as I hope it will help the time pass quickly.  My in-laws came to town to help care for the kids while I recover and they have been an incredible help pre-op as well. 

My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday morning at 10:45.  I can't believe it's so close.  In many ways it feels like it has taken forever to get here, yet at the same time I am looking around saying "Where did the the last seven months go?!?"  I had a six month physician supervised diet which was a requirement of my insurance policy.  In the beginning this seemed like a big hassle, but it has been a blessing in disguise.  It's given me another six months to work through issues with my therapist and prepare emotionally for the amazing life changes I am going to be making.  

I wasn't really planning on blogging about my experience - I am a very private person that keeps my emotions and struggles to myself.  Recently I have discovered that it may be cathartic to write about my journey.  If Anyone can relate to my trials and tribulations or learn from my mistakes, well that would be a bonus.