FoodFetish
In the middle of 2008, I realized my addiction was killing me. My drug of choice is food--for celebrating, mourning, combating loneliness and connecting with others. About 6 months prior to this realization, in November of 2007, my 36 year old brother Jon died of liver failure. Although there were additional medical reasons, alcohol killed him. It was his drug of choice.
Jon's death made me turn to food with a new fervor. My weight reached 300+ pounds. I felt horrible--it became harder and harder to be the "fat, happy, funny girl" I had shown the world. When I thought about my future, I saw medications, limited mobility, and missing out on so much. Although I had been overweight for 15+ years (obese for most), it became crystal clear the damage I was doing to myself.
I think I initially thought of surgery as cheating--that I should be able to do it on my own. After visiting Jon's grave one day, I was researching the lap band--not really considering it. It then occurred to me. If there was a surgery Jon could have had to help him stop drinking, I would have stopped at nothing to make sure he got that help. And I know he would want the same for me.
Well, I have gotten a great tool and most days I believe I can be successful. If I have anything to say about it, my parents will not bury another child.
