franRN76

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had my most frustrating and irritating morning since surgery.  I felt so fragile emotionally.  One minute I am pissed then the next I am ready to cry.   I had a right to be a upset because my PCP didn't call me and tell me that my labs were off last visit.  They did say that they tried to call once (no message was left).  So they sent a letter.  Well THEY put the wrong address on it and it was returned back to them (didn't put my apartment number on it).  I was also informed that they cannot mail me my labs due to HIPPA (which i know all about).  But I am willing to sign a waiver stating that I give them permission to send to my current address and release them of any liability.  NOPE still wont do it.  In order for me to get them I have to drive 40 minutes to pick them up at his office.  I am seriously thinking of finding a new PCP. 

Also my BP was up again ( I wonder WHY!!) and so he put me back on a BP med.  I got it filled but I am half tempted to not even take them.  I will though but I will also be watching my BP very closely and how I feel.  I am so afraid of starting to feel like crap again after feeling so good the last couple of weeks. 

Anyways my Liver tests were elevated and he was sending the letter out to schedule me to have an ultrasound.  They were barely a few points over the high end of normal.  In my professional opinion I think he should have rechecked them before gong through the extreme of scheduling an ultrasound.  I would have refused the ultrasound and demanded him redraw my labs anyways.  So because it has been a month since last labs he decided to draw another set.  We will see how these are then go from there.  Called CNP at surgeons office and let her know as well and that i was having repeat labs and would have my PCP fax them over to her office.  

gave myself a headache rethinking about it.  Just wanted to vent. Sorry that this is so long.  On a good note I had lost 11 pounds since I saw him last month.  Maybe I am a little bummed that it wasn't more, but whatever.  Atleast it wasn't a gain.  I know that i am developing muscle mass because i have been with the personal trainer for 4 sessions already.

I had to open my big mouth. 
Me: "what part of my abs are these crunches working?"
Personal Trainer: " your upper".
ME: what exercises would work the lower abdominal muscles?". Personal Trainer: "these would" (demonstrates 2 different exercises). 

I was really only asking to make sure where I was sore at was right where I should be sore at and it was nothing dealing with my surgery. 

Wouldnt you know it... Sure enough there I was on that machine lying with my feet crossed at the ankles and up in the air....  Only 2 sets each, but then add that with the 4 sets of regular crunches.. Ummm  .. I am thinking that maby I am gonna bring out the heating pad and let it rest on my whole abdomen. 

 Not really complaining.  It sure felt good to get out of my comfort zone and push my body to a new limit.  Love my personal trainer (katie).   She is "old school".  Using free weights and my body weight for all the exercises.   (crunches, lunges, squats, knee lifts,). She mixes cardio in between each strength training exercise. I really enjoy the end of the session when she stretches me out.  OMG .. it feels so good.  So hoping that she will make a routine for those days for me to follow.  Still gonna try to go 3 days a week for a little longer.   I am already feeling a difference.   Even Katie noticed that I have a better endurance for the cardio.  My arms still feel super weak, but Rome wasn't built in a day.   LOL

Just bought 48 sessions.  Will last me for 6 months if I go twice a week.  I told Katie that I wanted to do another workout during the week on my own as well.

Mentally and physically I feel great since I started exercising at the gym with the personal trainer.  Even went to work yesterday after my session.  I will not lie and say that I am not sore, because I am so sore in my arms and my thighs.   But it is so worth it.  Using heat to help with it since I cannot take NSAIDS.  It is helping.

I did eat more yesterday than I have been eating.  I was just hungry all the time.  I made the healthiest choices that I could.  I did eat some stone wheat crackers.  I figured that I needed a little carbs after working out so hard.  I had awesome fluid intake.  I had drank 24oz before going to work and started drinking a 32 oz bottle on my way to work.  I finished that one and drank most of another one before I came home from work.

I had tons of energy all day yesterday.  I came home a little tired, but thats a normal.  I was running around all shift at work.  I think my mood was so much better as well.  I even slept better last night. 

So I am gonna try my hardest to keep up these sessions with the personal trainer.  It is helping to keep me focused which is what I need right now. 

There is no way possible that I can weigh myself more than once a week like the NUT said.  I am getting compulsive and it has become part of my daily ritual to weigh right when I get up.  Not liking the numbers because I know there is no way that I can gain and lose 6 pounds in just a day.  So I asked my fiance to hide the darn thing.  I am not gonna weight for 2 weeks.  I do have the WiiFit Plus.  If I want to check my weight, then i have to be willing to exercise as well.  But I did just find out that you can skip the body fit test (which is what gives your BMI and weight).

I have been having a hard time getting back in the swing of working again.  I feel like I just got plain LAZY while I was out for those 5 weeks.  I know that is not the case, but I can't help feeling that maybe I should have done more.  Can't go back and change anything now though and there is no use crying over spilled milk. 

Been having a hard time getting in my fluids.  Just dont like the taste of anything.  I have been eating quite a few SF popsicles the last couple of days.  Am thinking that I am gonna take a bunch with me to work this weekend as well.  Just in case I get tired of drinking, then I can suck away on em.  Protein has been okay, but not my usual.  Still getting 60-70g in.  I really need to order the Nectar which I loved the flavors of.  The Beneprotein is not that bad.  I have only tried it mixed in my low sugar oatmeal.  So I think that I will try that again tomorrow for breakfast.  I have been eating 1 egg (over-easy) w/ shredded cheese and 4oz of dannon L&F yogurt nearly everyday since I was put on pureeds.  Time to spice things up.  I figured if I alternate between that and the oatmeal (which gives me more protein and less fat) then my body will not get so used to the same old thing.  Normally I would just skip breakfast, so breakfast foods are not my cup of tea.

Monday I start my full personal trainer sessions.  I admit that I am not looking forward to doing it right after I get off from working the graveyard shift the night before.  But I need to set up some sort of routine.  If I do not exercise before going to bed on MONDAY, then chances are that I will not exercise when I wake up Monday and then I seem to spiral out of control (no exercise so far this week).  It was suggested that I go M-W-F.  So i am gonna try 3 days a week for a month and see how it goes.  If I like it, then I will take my tax refund and buy more sessions up front.  I feel that I need the extra push right now. 

On the suggestion of my NUT I decided that I would start weighing twice a week.  So I figured tuesday and fridays would be the best days for me.  Well the scale said I gained 6 pounds.   WTF.  Now in my brain, I know that I could not have possibly eaten enough calories over the weekend to gain that much.  So either I am retaining water or something else is going on.  I refuse to let this STUPID number on the scale get me down.  I am moving forward. 

This was my first weekend back to work.  Since I work the overnight shift, I do not start eating until 4-5pm and then eat throughout the night.  I know in the past that I tend to be heavier at the beginning of the week than at the end, which is why I decided to weigh on friday.  I also consumed most of my water starting the same time.  So i am thinking that my bodyh is just screwed up form the shift that I work.. LOL

I also ended up sleeping late on monday and my first meal was when me and TEC went out for our V-day dinner.  At dinner I tried 1/2 of a small tortilla.  I think as soon as the las bite hit my pouch I got sick and threw up all or most of what I ate.  I had 3-4 bites of lemon pie at dinner and that was it.  Came home and ate a little bit of laeftovers later that night.  However my cals/protein/water was low.  So maybe my body is retaining because of that.

Trying to keep my chin up!  Gonna just concentrate on getting back on plan 100%. 20oz of water already down.  Breakfast: egg w/ x1 slice american cheese and 4oz yogurt.  Think Lunch is gonna be chicken salal, cucumber and tomato slices.

Stayed up til around MN last night in hopes of sleeping in a little later today.  Well it worked.  I slept til 8am but stayed in bed til 9am.  Got out of bed fully awake and energized, well maybe not energized more like motivated.  I watched a little TV to wake up fully.  Took my 1st calcium while watching the show.  After the show I did my WATP (18min) video to warm up.  Then I did WiiStep and WiiBoxing for 20 minutes, giving it my all.  Sipping on my water throughout the workout.  So I got 1 eight oz so far.  Getting ready to take my vitamin and iron.  Then eat something light.   Then off to the shower to get ready for work. 

Also had a good poop.  TMI I am sure.  But considering that last week I was struggling and feeling like crap.  Maybe I have overcame that hurdle.  I sure feel so much better

Had complimentary personal trainer session at bally's.  Met with the head of the department.  I was impressed because he took the time to listen to me and my concerns about working out post WLS and the low caloric intake that I have right now.  We had a mini workout.  He said he wanted to keep it low to moderate in intensity for awhile.  Also he didnt want me to do any crunches and such due to my recent surgery.  We worked on core muscles at the balance bar standing on one foot.  Felt good. 

Money is an issue with me continuing these sessions.  I have 12 to use, then I have to decide if I can continue and how many sessions I can afford.  Right now trainer wants me to go x3 a week.  I am sure hes seeing dollar signs as well, but I think that this might just be what I need to do in order to get my body back into full swing and get my energy back to normal. 

Had a grouchy pouch the other day and it was annoying.  I wanted and tried to eat, but nothing either tasted good or would stay down.  Today has been much better.  I was able to eat the dreaded chicken and chew it up enough to keep it down.  I have read so many horror stories on here about chicken and the pouch not liking it.  I am so glad that mine did ok with it.  I love chicken and eat it alot. 

Well thats it.  So i am 5 weeks out now.  Heading back to work tomorrow.  I am a little excited, but nervous as well.  

Having an off day today.  Ran around running errands all morning and afternoon.  Didn't sleep last night but 2 hours.  So when I got home around 5p, I took a nap (4hours).  Well i am still pooped.  My primary doc gave me a prescription for a sleeping pill which i am gonna try in a few.  I am wondering if it lack of sleep that is causing this headaches of it something else is causing it.  Will mention it to my Surgeon;s team on Friday. Til then I am gonna pop 2 E.S Tylenol and the sleeping pill and then go to bed in about an hour. 

Gonna go try to get some more protein in, but I am not doing very well on my vits, fluids, or protein today.  I feel like chit!!!  Didn't even make it to the gym. 

 I know that today is today and that when it is over it is over.  So I am just looking forward to tomorrow and a better day.  TEC has a job interview tomorrow in the city, so I will drive him to the train station.  I am hoping that on my way home I can go to the gym and get a workout in. 

Almost didnt make it since our gym closes at 6p on Sunday's, which I think is absolutely redicilous.  I was able to get 15 minutes workout in with a 5 mnute cool down.  I of course jumped on the elliptical.  I cant stand the treadmill.  Its boring and I never get my heartrate up where it should be.  So I always do the elliptical.  OMG.  After 10 minutes I was pooped and had to stop to catch my breath.  Didnt give in.  I was determined to go another 10 minutes (thought I set the timer for 20minutes).  Could definitely feel my legs and buttocks burning.  I even walked backwards on it, which I have never done.  I just hope that I can walk tomorrow.. LOL.  I felt good too.  Didnt even have to come home and take a nap like I thought I would have to do.  I am hoping that I can get there tomorrow as well.

Have had 3 GOOD days in a row with protein. Water has been a little low, but thats ok.  I'm definitely not dehydrated. 

YUMMO!  Cooked it in the crockpot.  Cooked for 8hours.  Ive been droolling the whole time.  Meat was so tender that I thought about just eating it as it was but to chew chew chew.  I decided against that.  SO 2oz roast, 1/2 potato, 1/4 onion, and 1/2 cup carrots all went in the ninja.  Added some of the juice from the crockpot.  All-in-all it made about 8 oz.  I immediately seperated it into 2 containers, since I have been eating about 4 oz at a time now.  So I sit here and only can eat 2 oz.  My pouch is definitely saying I AM DONE!  I will try to finish it later.  If not then thats ok.  More for tomorrow.  

 I was hoping to be able to finish it so that I would get the protein of 1 oz of the meat.  I am trying to get more protein through food and hoping to rely less on the shakes. 

On a good note though, I am learning how my pouch is working and to listen to it when it says something.  So that is definitely a plus