freebird086

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I know it's been a while.  I've been sooooo swamped as of late.  Have had friends pass away, among other issues.  I have kept up with loosing though.  I'm down to 430 pounds now.  Almost to the big 200 mark.  It has slowed down quite a bit over the past two months though, so I'm starting to work out.  I got a membership at the local gym and I'm going up there three times a week minimum.  I'm doing the treadmill for 20 minutes walking almost a mile.  Then I get on the machines and I'm working on my muscles.  I want to tone them up before I have to have skin removal.  I have been grazing some and I'm working on stopping that NOW!!  Hard to believe that I can still have eating issues after going through all this, but it is a life long battle huh.  Anyways, everything else has been going great.  Connie is hanging with me every chance we get and I have a feeling that maybe in the next couple years wedding bells might ring.  Have to see what happens.  Anyways, I hope you are all doing great and keep working hard....I'm with ya all every step of the way.
Steve

Well I went to Hurley yesterday and weighed in.  To my surprize I weighed in at 466.7 pounds for a total loss so far of 147 pounds.  I'm so excited to know that I weigh less now then I have in several years.  I still go thru somedays that are difficult and often find that my mind thinks that I'm hungrier then I really am, but it is well worth it.  I can't wait till I get under 400.....that is my next big milestone.

You Don't See Me

I walk thru the crowds,

And people stop and stare.

They see the disease,

But they don't see me.

You see my size,

And my slowness you despise.

You hear my heavy breathing,

Wondering why I allowed this.

Yet you don't understand,

It's something I couldn't resist.

It wasn't a cigarette,

Or alcohol that was the tempt.

It was a hunger of pain and loss,

That caused this slow decent.

But, you over look the most important parts,

The things that come from the heart.

The beautiful words,

The sweet soulful sounds.

The music I sing,

And the loving feeling it brings.

If you look deep you will realize,

That there is more to me than this size.

There is a beauty that few will see,

And until you truly open your eyes,

You don't see me.

My Disease

I feel the pressure growing,

Getting harder to breathe.

The weight I have isn’t a gift,

It’s surely my disease.

I wasn’t always like this,

Wasn’t always big.

In fact when I was younger,

I used to run with ease.

But slowly it crept upon me,

Coming from behind.

Slowly getting larger,

It never crossed my mind.

It started to wear upon me,

Making me feel bad.

My legs always hurting,

Getting harder just to stand.

Every year a little larger,

Doc warning of concern.

Trying now to diet,

Just something I can’t learn.

Now I leave this body,

God has given me my wings.

My heart finally giving out,

Body filled with this disease.

Friends all gather round me,

Crying as they say.

Wish they could have helped me,

Watched me dying day by day.

All the warnings given,

Fell upon deaf ears.

Now my casket’s open,

Feeling all the tears.

So take these words to your heart,

And listen once more please.

Just a little warning,

Don’t give in to the disease!

Steven E. Deitch

August 12, 2002