GigglyMarie

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Happy re-Birth Day to me! With the song out of the way, I just wanted to say, here I am celebrating 1 year of a new me; and boy, what a ride!

I am over 100 lbs down, at and below my goal weight, and I am healthier, happier and more confident than I have been ever in my life. I was thin over 10 years ago, but I have never had self-confidence and the health and the peace of mind to treasure it!

There have been challenges, and sometimes they were so overwhelming,  that it seemed to compromise the entire process. I have had to identify with the person I had been covering up. I had to learn who she was, why she was the way she was and what I needed to change to be the person I wanted to be.

I have gained the respect from family and friends, who saw how much I wanted this change for myself and them, who showered me with encouragement and were shocked by my commitment.

I have been criticized. As one of the first people in my community to have had this procedure, people have been very judgemental of my success. There were people who were initial supportive, who later criticized the surgery, regardless of health and well-being; the same things they applauded me for 3 months before.  It was difficult to understand that people who behave that way were not my friend in the first place. 
I never presented myself as a weight loss poster girl. I initially did not tell anyone about the surgery, because I was afraid of the criticism. I never wanted anyone to praise or judge me for the weight I was, much less the weight I was losing. I know, I have covered this over and over again, I just never knew how much it would bother me. I have tried to define myself as the person I am, not the weight I loss, or the way I look, and it still is hurtful that people will judge me for something they know very little about. But that is not uncommon, it's a situation as old as time itself, and some people are just that way. My silver lining is the people who are my friends have overwhelmed me with the fact that they are TRUE FRIENDS. They were there when I wasn’t. They like me for who I am, whatever she looks like.

Weight Report: I’ve gone down to as low as 116 and am between 117 and 119 over the past two weeks. Because I am so short, I haven’t gotten really nervous about losing more weight than I had thought. My weight for my height is between 100-120; with 125 being a 25 BMI.  
My family and I have only been sick twice since last February. That speaks volumes! Before, It felt like we were sick all the time, or at least one out of the five of us. We had a stomach bug around Halloween, and a couple of weeks ago we had a “flu-like” bug that hit our entire neighborhood. Those things will happen, but I believe our activity levels and our nutritional changes have really made us a happier, healthier family.

It has been hard; much harder than I could have imagined. But, I have experienced such great results, I feel better. I know that I am better, health wise. I have learned why I had such problems in the first place and I am consciously working to keep those beasts in place. I am a stress eater. Every time I feel stress, I feel the urge to eat. That’s something that may never go away. I have developed ways to comfort myself without eating and I am aware that that (although it feels like it) is not real hunger. I also have to fight the urge to sabotage myself. Don’t ask me why, but the closer I get to success, the more I find myself challenging it. I guess that’s why I still go to support group meetings, which saves my sanity.

All in all, it has been worth it ten times over! I feel like it is something that I have worked hard at, something that I have earned, and not a quick fix. It is something I will always be aware of, something that I will not be able to lose sight of and that’s fine by me! I never want to forget what I have been through, and just how hard it has been, it has made me a much stronger, better person, all around.

Thank you to all of my WLS sisters, your support has been amazing. You have inspired me when I felt hopeless; you have empowered me when I was weak. I know I would not have been as successful with out all of you! Thank you!

Hello to all and sorry for the time between posts. I’m never really sure on what to write, but, Happy New Year!

I am down to my goal weight, actually 122, which is three pounds below my personal goal of 125! I have lost over 100 lbs! My BMI is normal, can you believe it? I never thought I would be classified as normal weight, for sure.  

 I feel great, I have only been sick (other than food related, getting food stuck and such) once, and that was allergies! I used to get sick every time the wind changed (almost literally!). I have more energy than I know what to do with! 
 My labs at six months were good, I will have them done again next month for my 1 year check up. It seems like it just was yesterday, and yet it was a lifetime ago, all at once. I remember being full of anxiety and hope as 2007 began; I had my date and was awaiting my insurance approval. I was so afraid that I would fail at WLS the way I had failed at every other attempt to loose weight.  I know I post this all the time, but I couldn’t be more grateful! 
It hasn’t been easy; I have had plenty of ups and downs. I have had a difficult time learning my pouch; I have gotten food stuck more than I care to remember.  I have learned that I can eat sugar, but only so much. I have broken rules and I have picked myself up, and got back on track. I know why the rules are in place, and I understand why they are there. And all of that has made me stronger.
  I have faced and even uglier side of Weight Loss: the “fair weather friends”.  This has been the hardest part of the entire process. I thought I had determined who would be supportive, but I never thought some people would act the way that they did. At first, they were so happy for me that I had done something so good for my health. That was when I was still fat. Once I started being successful, (losing more than 15-20lbs) things got ugly. They had less and less time, and talking about how losing weight the “right” way, not the easy way, was better! ARGH! At least now I know who my real friends are. And they didn’t care when I was a size 24 or when I was a size 4. I know that losing “friends” was unpleasant, but they were never friends at all. It has been eye opening, but again, it has made me a better person.

  Bottom line: I still attend support groups, I still follow the rules of my pouch, I exercise, but I need to stay regular about it! I have struggled, but I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over, it’s the best I can do.  For the first time in my life, my New Year’s resolutions include “keep up the good work” along with drink more water. – It feels fabulous!  
 Here’s to a new year! Good luck to the new you(s)!

 

Today was my 9 month appointment: I am officially down 100lbs! I'm going to get my century card... Woo Hoo!  I am at the goal for 18 months. I have been good with labs, so I didn't have any lab work done this time. I am all good until my one year appointment. 

My family is doing well, we are finishing up soccer this week. We have make-up games from rain in September, and then we will be done. We are planning on relaxing for Thanksgiving. I can't wait!

I hope everyone is doing well. I know that I haven't been great with the updates, it's just that I stay busy all the time. 

I am about 11lbs from my goal! I need to get back to a REGULAR workout schedule and really stick with it! 

Best wishes to all of you. This has been the hardest yet most rewarding thing I have ever done. I have learned so much about myself and the person that I am becoming. I thank all my friends and family that have supported my journey, it's been an amazing 12 months (since we decided to persure a WLS option)!

Well, things are getting busy for Halloween.
I though I would post a few pictures and write a few things. 
    Things are good here. I have been acting a little out of character lately. I've been taking a "cut the crap" attitude. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not. People sure don't like it after you've spent the last three years being their doormat. 
Part of me is saying, "About time!" The rest of me is saying, "do you think you are being a bit harsh?" 
    All in all, I think it's a good thing. I've been working really hard.  WLS isn't easy, not to mention I signed up for everything under the sun.  I stay busy, but on schedule. I think that I spaz out when people make excuses for why they let others down. "I know I said I would be there..." If I can be there when I say I will, so can you. 
    I enjoyed the emotional support group. It was a much larger group the second time around. I didn't go first, but I wasn't a wallflower either. Everyone was new (no one from the previous month) It seems very helpful, I hope that I can continue to go. 
    I have been wondering about my fellow support group friends. It seems like new faces every time. I do stay in touch with a few, but I hope everyone is doing well.
    Reflecting back on last Halloween: A year ago, I had the seminar scheduled, I dreaded every social activity, and thought I would just stay on the street and let the kids walk up to the houses alone. I felt like my feet were going to explode all the time and I was so tired, all the time. I was so depressed that I could hardly move without pain. It seems like it was a world away. I’m so glad that I took the opportunity to help myself and my family. We have had such a great time. It has been worth it, a million times over.

   I hope everyone has a Spooktacular Halloween, we have been doing tons of walking, and resisting the candy hasn’t been nearly as difficult as I thought.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on! 

 

 

It's been over a month and I wanted to update everyone as part of my plan to stay on track. I am down to about 137 lbs with about 10-15 pounds to go before I am in the “normal” bmi range. 

I have been to a new support group "emotional support group" and as we only meet monthly, I'm not sure how it's going just yet. I did make the mistake of going first and was kind of ambushed. The group is moderated by the psychologist.  She is extremely outspoken. She says that most people with weight problems are, ironically enough, perfectionist. I’ve thought about it for about a month, she is right (about me at least,) so, I am trying to work on that. Anyway, I will try it again tomorrow, and will update on the progress. Also, it’s hard to deal with all the emotions that you need to address when you are not suppressing them with food, I really hope the group is helpful.  

Other things are well, as well. Katie is doing great in her new classroom. I still can’t express the comfort that you gals have been to me, while I was dealing with this.  I have gained more of an appetite. I haven’t been eating as much as I want to, but there’s the problem, I WANT TO.  Not to say that those thoughts aren’t healthy, but this is a new challenge and I will need to work on it.  

Other news: I had a visitor, the first one in 6 years (besides my immediate family), to be here for me. It seems strange for someone who lives in Las Vegas . It was great! My mom’s best friend, my “other mom” and two of her sisters, her niece and some friends were in town for a few days. I caught up with them and we did a “girl’s day out” with sight seeing! It was so much fun, and a much needed break from the kiddos.  

Friday will be my eight month "surgerversary". I haven’t been as diligent with workouts but I have been very active, we have been walking with the kids for their school fitness program (about a mile a day, except on Wednesday), and a soccer practice each week, I coach.  I’m getting back into MY routine this week, no more putting it off.  

We are starting to make Halloween plans, it seems exciting as I have so much more energy than last year, and my feet don’t hurt anything like last year. I can’t wait, BRING IT ON!  I hope everyone is doing well and I’m sorry to be out of the “loop” for so long!

 

 

Sorry that I haven’t updated in a while.

 

 We have had a lot of nasty stuff over the past two weeks. We have just been trying to get through all of this with everyone intact.

Here’s the story (minus all the details):

Katie was attacked at school by a special needs student who was “administratively transferred” to her school. This was last Wednesday, September 5. This happened in her classroom on the new student’s first day. She is fine. But he hit her once in the chest and three times in the eye, with her glasses on. She was very upset, but apparently they explained that he was special and had problems and she was ok.

 

She didn’t want to go to school and had “stomachaches” and “sore throats” for a while, and on Tuesday, September 11. The same student hit her again. So she has been moved to another classroom where she will be safe. I have been fighting the school district non-stop since September 6. We have filed police reports; we have talked with counselors and psychiatrists.  Our main concern is that the kids (all of them) can feel safe at school. 

Katie’s teacher, Mrs. Reed, is an amazing woman and I would be honored for Katelyn to remain in her class, but that wasn’t an option after she was attacked twice, both completely unprovoked. No one can say why he has picked Katie to beat up. He has hit other children in the classroom. One was removed for other reasons (went back to second grade) and two others remain in the classroom. He has an aide who is with him through out the day; he has hit her as well. I saw it.

 

I have been at school or on the phone with the school district everyday since this has happened. It has been a very long week or so. Katie is now in Ms. Burton’s class. She is in the same class with one of her two best friends. She is so excited and she knows 90% of her classmates. Ms. Burton believes that she will do well in the class, and says that she is very excited that she could see that Katie will have no problems adjusting to the work.

 

I’m sad. Mrs. Reed was challenging the kids. She had a lot of high expectations for what I know Katie could really use. But I will take the teacher change to keep Katie safe at school.

 

As for other news: Kyle has started his swimming lessons and he is loving it!

Megan did well getting over her spelling test stress. She really likes first grade even though she is still saying she wants to go back to kindergarten.

 

The kids had a great first week of soccer, and this past weekend was also good, and everyone was really tired when it was over. We have been non-stop since school started three weeks ago! And boy has it been hot! We will be looking forward to the start of fall, and under 100 degree temperature days.

 

We started Girl Scouts on Friday with a swimming party, which seems like it will be a fun thing for everyone. Girl Scouts (brownies) will be every other Friday.

 

We are staying busy, but it’s a nice chaotic feel. I can’t wait to move on....

I hope you all are doing well, have a great week!
Staying busy has kept me from snacking and that is something in itself to be greatful for. I am down to 144! I was stalled at 147 for a couple of weeks!
Thanks for reading....

I hope everyone is well, I know that for many of you, this time of year is a mix of joy and sorrow. With school starting back up, we have new great and wonderful things to do. 

I could not be more grateful for my transformation. I know how exhausted I was this time last year. I can't believe the difference a year has made.
I have seen several parents and teachers, who didn't know I had anything done, all who can't believe their eyes. Some I will tell, some I already have. But it feels fantastic every time I hear it!

I am still on track with meals, water and protein, three weeks of really focusing on 60-70g protein. I'm proud, It's not as terrible as I feared. I had some problems with a little anxiety returning, but I've just applied the changes that I had made pre-op and things are fantastic, I couldn't ask to be more pleased with my results (and that says something, the scales have be stagnant for two weeks)! 

Things are amazing, with one exception: my husband dug our some of my old clothes (you know, the ones you just can't part with) and it brought back a lot of memories that I had hoped wouldn't return. He keeps asking me (seveal times over the past three weeks) to remember the last time I wore.... ? We were newlyweds with all those typical newlywed problems. I was miserable (although I did like the way I looked), some times I feel that he is force-feeding negative memories on me. Anyone else going through this? If so, please share. I know he is well-meaning, but even he admits that we had big problems them. I feel like I am being torn, I don't know exactly where I fit in anymore. Am I the girl I was, I'm not 232 Marie, that's for sure. I know I need old Marie, but who is she, really?

I know this is a little long going, but I feel like I need to work this out. Thanks for reading, listening, whatever. Thank you anyway!

Hello all!

 

   I have met my surgeon’s goals for six months!

 

 Here’s my drum roll......
I have lost 70.9% of my excess body weight!
I am no longer obese! I am merely overweight!
I have a BMI of 29.7!!!
I have lost 80lbs since my initial consultation in December 2006!  Everything is wonderful! Hooray!

    I did get a copy of my before picture, I will scan it in to my profile when I get a chance. I was really shocked. I didn’t think I looked that bad. I really tried to dress for my size. I just can’t believe how much I have changed.

    I asked a lot of questions at my appointment. I won’t bore you with the details, but I need to keep up on the protein, 60-70g/day. I am also finished with the Urso Forte. I am out of the woods for gallstones! It was really exciting.

 

 Thanks for reading... Woo hoo!

Okay, weekly update and misc ramblings:

I have not lost any weight, that's ok, I have stayed the same. That is good. 
My common theme for this entry: For the first time in a LONG time, I'm happy with my progress!

I met Sherry65 this week at support group! What a fun and wonderful lady! I hope to see more of her in the future!

This week was full of small yet crazy challenges. My kids are trying to finish out their summer vacations with a bang. I am trying to get them ready for school, and for the activities that will begin as soon as school does. 
We went to our activity pool... I wore my tankini! It was one of those moments that was almost a wow. I took two of my daughter's friends, one for each. No one said anything. Is that a good thing? I took it a good one. I didn't feel that anyone was staring... which I usally do. I didn't get rave reviews, but I was with 6 and 8 year olds. 

I did attend coach training for my son's soccer team. I didn't know the other coaches but for the first time (I've been team mom at these trainings for 3 years (6 seasons), I didn't feel like I didn't fit in. I was the silliest person in the room, but that's something I'll have to live with. I am nervous about coaching, but everyone is new to the game (they are 4) and there are very little expectations. I have already called parents and planned our parent's meeting. 

My daughter's soccer meeting will be this week as well. I haven't seen those parents in about... well about 40 lbs! We saw them at the games at the end of the school year, but they weren't quite aware of the 30lbs I had lost since Feburary, so I am hoping for a few wows there. I'm not sure what to say when they ask what I've been up to? Any advice would be fantastic, I had told two of the moms but none of the other 8. Now when people ask, I normally say, Yeah, I've been working really hard, changing what I eat, exercising, lots of water, no sugar... All true...but.... There are those that I'll say, I had WLS, and continue on with the same as above.

My six month check up has been moved up to Monday, I will definately post my results. 

This week: my kids have birthday parties to go to, play dates to attend and my son, has his first soccer meeting, (alas, I am the coach) on Tuesday. We are both very nervous and excited. We also have to get our back to school supplies, I can't believe that we have put it off for so long! Only two weeks!

Did you know there is a scrapbooking forum on the message board? I didn't it's here: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/scrapbooks/
It's difficult to find if you don't know it's there, but there seemed to be an interest for a group to post scrapbooking things and WLS scrapbooking in general, so I set up a yahoo group... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wlsscrapbookers/ come on over and sign up if you are interested. I have never had a group before, but it could be nice to have a place to update our passion for scrappin in a WLS friendly enviroment.  

I hope everyone is having a great week!

I apologize, but I have been awful.

I swore I would not be one of those people who never updated their profile. But I didn't!

I had the surgery just as scheduled; I came home, started lurking on the site, again, and never posted again. 
I've been here the whole time! Well, I did take a break. 

To be honest, I went a little crazy. My first week I lost 5lbs. everyone else at my post-op appointment lost at least 10. I came home and logged on, where everyone else was ahead of me. 

I thought there was something wrong. At two weeks, I went to my first support group meeting (we meet once a month). I asked about it, the doctor assured me I was fine, I was losing, just keep with the program and I will so fine. So I "upped" my protein, then I hounded my wonderfully patient doctor about if it was enough (I was losing 2-4 lbs a week). He assured me that I was fine, I was losing at a fantastic rate, relax, and follow the plan. 
Every time I came on the forum there was someone else about my height and weight, fairing a lot better results, “don't worry”, I told myself, but it made me a little crazy. 

By two and a half months out I had to stop reading the message boards. I was only losing 1-2lbs a week. I saw that I was working hard, the treadmill, the eating regime, all that protein and water, and for only one or two pounds, surely it would never keep up, the first six months is where the “big” weight loss happens. I was beating myself up constantly. So, unless I had a problem, I would stay away. I was ashamed to post my weight change. I felt great, I felt better than I can remember, I just didn't like thinking I wasn't "keeping up."

I love this site. I love what it offers to me and others like me. This should be one place I can rejoice in my weight loss no matter how small it is. I have (at 5.5 months lost 75lbs) lost over half of my excess weight, that's nothing to frown about. I weigh less than I have since I had my kids- eight years! I now (as of this week) weigh less than my "skinny" husband (he's 6' to my 5')!! That's some thing to be proud of! 

I feel that by being here and posting it's ok to start slow, stick with it, work out, follow the rules and it will be wonderful, lets people like me feel better about being slow. No one on the entire OH board has ever been unkind; I did that all by myself. The people that I have encountered here have been nothing shy of amazing. I could not be more grateful. I have finally accepted that it’s great to be me, and I have done so much that I can be proud of.  I lost an average of 3lbs a week. When did that ever happen to me before? NEVER!

 So as of now, I promise to be one of those people who I look up to: a role model for support. I will keep my site up to date; I will post about the hurdles that I have encountered. I will share my journey so others like me will have someone to relate to. I feel like I owe to back for all the great people who have helped me, through all the emotional storms I’ve weathered for the past year, since deciding to take control of my health.

 
 Thank you for listening to me rant! You gals and guys are the best!