gina477

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Today was my first post-op and I'm 16 days out. The documents that I received from my dietitian pre-surgery indicated that I would have my first post-op 2 - 3 weeks after surgery and I would be on the soft solids stage. Apparently the Nurse Practitioner is not on the same page because she told me that I would still be on the pureed stage for another 2 weeks!! These first two weeks have KILLED me!! I am so ready to move on to solid or the very least, soft solids. I can't deal with pureed for another two weeks.

I don't mind so much breakfast, like oatmeal or farina. I do mind lunch and dinner having pureed ground chicken, beef and turkey. It's totally not fun. 

I started writing in a journal as well because I am feeling very anxious about this whole transition. I am going to see my therapist tomorrow and hopefully will help me talk out these feelings. I found out the dates of the support groups at the hospital where I had my surgery. They only meet once a month and it will be at the end of this month. I got information for other hospitals in the area as well. There is one group this evening that I'm considering attending. I truly need to find support in other sources from people who have been or are going through the process. I love my family and friends, but, it seems like I'm alone in this battle. Well, I will write more later.

I was so excited about a week and a half ago about this new life of having VSG. I still know that my thought process is somewhat normal. I know that the long term results will be so much better than I could ever anticipate. I also know that my cravings are all psychological.

I have been having the worst cravings I've ever had in my life. Even when I was pregnant, I have never felt cravings like this. Oddly enough, my belly feels like it's actually growling. I believe that the "growling" is most likely gas, but, it is killing me. This pureed diet is not my favorite at all. I am even starting to feel pain from sleeping too much. Pain in my arms and legs. I confess that I have not walked as much as I should. My medical leave at work is until February, so, what else can I do but catch up on sleep? We've had a really bad snowstorm in NYC a few days ago and I can't walk outside in the snow. It's all catching up with me and I'm beginning to regret this whole surgery.

I feel like I don't know what to do at this point. I have an appt with my therapist on Friday, so I know I'll discuss this matter. It's just so hard for me to move forward from WANTING food.

Let's see how the days go.

I don't think that it has all sunken in yet. I'm 5 days away from my VSG and don't have any type of nervousness happening. I'm excited. This is my new beginning, my first new year that I will follow through on my resolution. I can hardly wait to get to that point. I guess that the pre-op diet hasn't been as tough as I thought it would be. I found a protein drink that I like and can't complain too much about.

Everything seems to be running so smooth, including my pre-authorization, my pre-admission testing and even my disability paperwork that is completed prior to my surgery. I think that I won't be nervous or scared until I get the call from the nurse telling me what time I need to report to the hospital on Monday.

I guess the little thing that is in the back of my head is whether or not I'll be able to walk up four flights of stairs on Christmas Eve when we go to my sister's house to celebrate the holiday. I know that I will be up and walking around in the hospital after the surgery, but, how much is too much? I guess I will have to wait and see how things go. I'm sure I will be on here posting more things when the time gets closer. Until next time.

It has taken me over 3 years to actually determine that I was ready to start my WLS journey. I have had issues with my weight ever since I was a teenager. I became an imancipated minor at the age of 14. I moved in with my boyfriend and his family and became pregnant soon after. At the age of 15 I was a mom. I started having weight issues soon after. I had my second child at the age of 17. At the age of 19, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus. While dealing with the issues with my health, I had constantly gained weight. I was on a laundry list of medications because of my Lupus flares. I had tried numerous diets and weight loss methods to no avail.

I always thought that I could lose weight if I just put my mind to it. I thought that I failed at weight loss because I had too many other things going on with my kids, my husband, my job. I never put myself first. I never thought I could spare the time that I needed to commit to myself.

I contemplated surgery a couple of years ago and went to a seminar. I dismissed surgery because I felt that it was too drastic, I convinced myself that I could do it on my own. Well, here I am 20 lbs heavier and miserable. My deciding factor came this year on April 18, 2010. My husband and I had planned a vacation on a cruise. I had began planning this vacation since December 2008! Even then, I had convinced myself that I would lose 30 lbs from 2008 - 2010. It didn't happen. As a matter of fact, I gained weight.

I went on my much anticipated vacation with my husband. Thinking that it was needed and deserved vacation alone.. no kids!! Well, I found myself, tired, fatigued, miserable. We were visiting such beautiful Caribbean Islands and I couldn't walk around and enjoy it.  I was seriously miserable. I was in pain from my knees to my ankles to my heels. I constantly complained and even cried knowing that I was not living the life that I want to live. I want to be able to do things and not feel so horrible. I promised myself that when I got back to New York, I was going to do whatever I needed to do to have surgery. I need to do this for me to live my life.

I don't know how many people have come to their conclusion this way, but, I know that this is my wake up call. I need to start living!