Tanya G.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

So sorry I have been gone for so long! I need to be here but life has just been super busy! I am well. I think about you guys and keep meaning to log on here but just can;t seem to get around to it! I will do a better update soon. I seem to have plateaued for a bit. I need to make some more changes but I have developed some of my old habits again to get back on that losing train. I am happy with who I am and what I see but I have not reached my goal yet.
I hope everyone is doing well and I will respond to all 16 of my messages soon I promise!
Take care and don;t forget about me, I promise I have not forgotten about you even though it feels that way!

 I need to send out a special Thank you to Pam, Tanya, Judy and WilBBarbie and all my other friends for your encouragement and support and of course advice. It really has helped me reach the 100 mark. It would have been a lot harder without you all.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE FOR ME!!!
Tanya

I did it finally!
I went to my appointment last week only to be disappointed because I weighed 251.3. I even offered to strip I was so desperate. Man I just hate myself for getting so caught up in the number game. Anyway, I was down today and am officially 250 pounds or 100 pounds down since June 11, 2007.
I am very happy and very proud of myself. I have been getting so many compliments; people commenting on my butt and people I have hardly spoken to a t work pulling me aside to tell me how amazing I am looking. I am loving every minute of it I have to admit! It is keeping me motivated too.
My appointment with the dietician and surgeon went well. I am low in Vitamin D but here in Saskatoon SK Canada, we don;t get a lot of bright sunny days unless it is also -40 like it was today! I have to take a supplement for awhile but that is pretty minor. The rest of my blood work came back really good so I am happy.
We did determine from my food records that part of the reason my weight loss has slowed is because I am consuming too many colaries in some sneaky ways. I need to cut back on my milk consumption because I only drink it with Cappucino flavored syrup! It's sooo good though but I am  willing to only have it every few days, a good compromise. I also need to eliminate nuts from my diet pretty much altogether. I started eating them to help increase protein but damn they have a lot of fat. It too is a pretty easy change because I never ate nuts ever until I had this surgery. I also can focus a little less on protein which of course tends to be higher in fat and incorporate a little more fruit and veggies.  I am hoping that these little changes will get me loosing more again. I guess it's time for me to start slowing anyway but I got concerned when it slowed too much. I'm not anywhere near done yet!
I will have to get a 350/250 pic on here one of these days. It is amazing to me.....

I posted some new pics tonight that I took yesterday at 14 weeks and 3 days post op. I was comparing them to March of 2007, the last picture of me at my highest weight, 350 and even I can't believe the difference. I have lost weight my whole life and never documented it like this. I am so proud of myself! I have never really felt that way about myself before either when it comes to my weight!It was funny this Christmas because I actually gave my husband the camera and said "here, take a picture of me opening some presents". He just about passed out because I NEVER wanted my picture taken, as I am sure all of you can relate to.
I have 3 pounds to go before I hit the 100 mark, 60 since surgery. I have a surgeon and dietician appointment on January 21st so I am hoping that I can loose another 3 pounds in a little over a week for the appointment. I desperatly want this but should know better than to get hung up on a number because I could be setting myself up for dissappointment when I should be anything but disappointed over my success so far.
It is so funny how old habits really die hard. Over Christmas I did really well keeping the sweets to a minimum except one day.... My husband got a small box of H&H chocolates fro his boss. It had 6 milk chocolates in it and 6 dark chocolates. Over the course of the day I ate all 6 milk chocolates. Every time I ate one I was relieved to not have any reaction to it. However, when bedtime rolled around, I was rolling around in bed too! I was so ill! I wanted to vomit but couldn;t and couldn;t sleep either. The next day I gurgled like crazy and couldn't keep anything down, not fluid not food not pills, nothing. I finally got some crackers in about midnight. What a hard lesson to learn! Of course it makes perfect sense that I would not tolerate 6 chocolates but since when does logic come in to play when it comes to me and food?! I am so happy that I did react that way because I really need a nasty deterant to help me from loosing control. I feel like an alcoholic who just had her first slip. I am sure I will fall again but the important thing is that I get right back up and hopefully learn something from it and carry on. 
One of the most challenging things for me is coping with life's ups and downs and stresses without food. I really have to work on new coping mechanisms this year.
On a good note, my hormones seem to be leveling out somewhat. My weight loss slowed a bit over Christmas and I think this helped. I still sweat at the drop of a hat for no apparant reason at times but my moods are much more mellow. Amen says my husband! I had my Effexor decreased because apparantly too much of it can cause irritability and this of course defeats the purpose since I went on it to help with moods swings!
I will post again when I am a memebr of the 100 pounds club!

It's been a while but Christmas is such a busy time of year! I am home sick today with a nasty cold so I am taking this opportunity to catch up! I am probably sick because I have shopped, wrapped, decorated and baked until I can not stand it anymore!
Baking was a bit of a challenge this year. I made cookies for the family, peanut butter, oatmeal raison, ginger snaps, and off course sugar cookies for my 3 year old to decorate! I tried to stay away from the really 'chocolatey'or fatty cookies like my favorite; shortbread!
I also made a really nice peanut butter trial mix bar that has lots of protein in it. My one splurge was a new recipe; almond bark with dried fruit and white and milk chocolate. I had one tiny piece and it is so rich I definatly had enough!
I had hoped that I would not tolerate chocolate or any sugar very well. Unfortunatly, I seem to be able to eat a small amount of it without any negative reaction. I guess that is good but I fear getting out of control. I am still very motivated this year but I fear that next year my motivation will be low and I will loose control. I hope I have a better handle on my emotional eating by then. I definatly have some work to do before then!
I have a couple good books to read with excercises to help gain control but I still have to make daily food decisions and I do love food!

On a really positive note, I am almost 1/2 way to my goal! I am really encouraged by this! I have reached some mini goals already:
no seat belt extender on the plane
fit in movie theater seat and doctors office chair comfortably
run up and down the stairs
extra room in the tub
put one foot up on knee, almost cross legs
and my favorite; sex is getting even better!

On a not so positive note, my moods are all over the place and my poor husband is taking the brunt of it all! (good thing the sex is good!) From what I have read and been told, my hormones are being produced for a 300 pound body because it can't keep up with the weight loss changes as fast as I am making them. I am on hormone overload! It's not fun to be bitchy for me or my husband.

Speaking of docs, I need to see mine to review my meds etc... because I think I am over medicating myself now that my weight has dropped. I saw the podiatrist last week to modify my orthotic because my knee was out of alignment now that I am down 87 pounds. I also need to see the respirologist this week because my CPAP is drying me out terribly and my mouth is popping open from too much pressure. All good things but a pain in the butt to do especially at Christmas time!

Hope everyone has a good Christmas and keeps their eating to a minimum. I try and tell myself that when the day is over, is it going to matter that I didn't eat that shortbread! I would rather be aroung for 50 more Christmas's!

Well, I am living the good life in Texas right now. I weighed myself this morning and I down again! Loving every minute of this!
I have discovered that stress really does a number on my pouch. It seems to 'tighten' up and I can;t hardly get any food down. First off, I don;t feel like eating and second, I can tell that if I did eat, it would not stay down so I don;t even try. I don't know how to explain it, but you just learn after a while when you should stick to liquids. You might think, 'really, I am going to have days where I don;t eat!' but actually it's not bad.  Food doesn;t have the same hold on you, or at least for me, so it's not as big a deal. 
The day we flew here, I ate nothing until out last flight out of Minneapolis because it wasn;t until then that I knew everything would be fine. We had made it without any probs up till then and it just didn;t matter from that point on. I could relax and eat something and I did. I had a chicken ranch wrap from Mc Donalds. Wraps are by far my best choice for eating fast food. I am really enjoying the quesadillas here in Texas!
I am struggling a little with indigestion these last couple of days but I think that is to be expected when you are away and eating different foods with a different routine. Plus, I am very obsessive about order and details and so I work hard to make things go as I plan them and I get stressed if they don;t. This of course causes my little pouch to cringe! I am definaly a type A personality. I think people who have a more relaxed type B personality would suffer less stress related pouch issues but that;s just my own observation!!
Anyway, I am seeing some pretty big weight loss numbers these days. I am happy but I know my dietician will be concerned and of course I am really hoping my hair doesn;t start falling out!
In the mean time, I am going to enjoy Tex Mex and the milder climate because I hear it is snowing at home!

I have always hated clothes shopping but yesterday was sooo fun! For the first time since before I had my little girl , over three years ago, I have not been able to shop in any store except one, Penningtons which caters to 14+. I most recently had been wearing a size 28 or 5X sometimes 6X. Penningtons is the only store in my city that carriers clothes this big.
Yesterday I figured I'd try Wal Mart. I was so happy to find that I fit into a 3X or a size 24 pair of jeans!!!!I tried on a beautiful winter coat in a 3X but just couldn;t bring myself to buy it because I know I will shrink out of it. However, I absolutly had to buy a couple pairs of jeans because my size 28's are falling off and the crotch is to my knees!
Shopping is only going to get better! I may have to go back to work fulltime to afford my life!

Well it's official, I can't eat oranges. I am very bumed about this since my favorite chinese mandarins are out for Christmas. I had one last night and this morning after I tried to drink my morning Carnation Breakfast, I felt very nauseaus. Eventually I vomited up a large chunk of orange membrane. I am absolutly positive I chewed well so it's just that I can;t digest or tolerate it. 
I got some good advice from the Main Message Boards on how to relax my pouch after traumatizing it from vomiting. I tried drinking hot tea and it stayed down. When I drank juice, it came right up. I am also going to take my own advice that I give to my dialysis patients and start using some of my relaxation techniques. I totally believe that stress and anxiety make my pouch feel 'tight' and then nothing wants to go down and I feel like I have some dumping symptoms like light headedness. 
The only questions I have now are how to get that stuck piece of food out asap. I had to wait about 4-5 hours before I could vomit it up. I wasn;t even sure what the problem was until I vomited.  I've left messages with my doc and nurse at the clinic so I hoipe they can shed some light on this for me. Such a learning experience
Other than that, all is well!
                         Happy Halloween everyone!       
!

Today marks 4 weeks. I saw my dietician yesterday for my weekly weigh in and I was down a total of 21 post op pounds and 61 since June of this year. I am so happy! It has been years since I have lost this much weight. I have out shrunk a bunch of my pants so have to go shopping! I can't wait!  I am so proud of myself; I am eating well, following the rules like chewing and eating slowly and not drinking during meals. 
Next week is picture day for my one month 'surger-versary'. I can't wait to compare!

I had a rough weekend that is for sure! It started on Sat when I vomited up my meds in the morning. This of course did not make me happy. I waited a couple hours and then tried a little scrambled egg, waffle and ham. This stayed down for only a few minutes. I could feel it obstructing in my pouch. Hurt like hell! When I coudn't keep any fluid down after that, (for about 5 hours) I decided to make a trip into emergency. That would be fine if I lived in the same city as my surgeon and not 5 hours away! I get to emergency and tell them I think I am developing a stricture at my stoma site into my intestine. I think they all though I was speaking another language. They had no idea what to do with me because there are no doctors that do this surgery, or ever have, in my entire province! The pain in my chest/pouch passed so I though maybe it's not a stricture and something was just stuck. I took small sips of water and it stayed down so we though the crises had passed. WRONG! They ran an IV to rehydrate me since nothing had stayed down prior to this all day and sent me home after 5 hours in emergency. I get home, try to drink, and vomit everything again. At about 9:00pm, I finally vomit long and hard enough to bring up a large chunk of scrambled egg. It had all gathered and formed into a huge chunk that completely obstructed my small intestine past the opening from my pouch. I guess scrambled eggs are out for me! After this I could drink again!
Sunday was almost as bad because all day I was in the bathroom with chronic problems from the other end! 
Today I am happy to report I only had some nausea, and I am drinking and back on solids, although I am being selective. 
It is going to be a struggle for me if I ever do need medical care because I am so far away from my surgeon, but I knew this going into it. I guess I didn't realize how clueless the docs on my end would be. I also didn't realize how stubborn they are about calling my surgeon. I asked them to page the on call doc in Alberta but of course they thought they had things under control. I let it go this time because I too thought things were under control and that I had overreacted. However my husband and I both work inthe medical setting and we will be a force to reckon with if I need help and they refuse to call my surgeon! 
We need to be our own best advocates when it comes to our health and bodies!