Gerri W.
Well I'm a young 40 yr old mother of 1 & grandmother of 2 lovely little boys. I wasn't always heavy I actually useto be very thin. In my mind I'm still thin. When I was in my mid 20's I had 3 different traumas / incidents that happened. With each one I gained about 60lbs each time. Till I landed at a miserable 298; where I stayed for the next 10 - 15 years. In and out of counseling for years I had been told that I was keeping the weight on to protect myself. anywhoo...... About 5 years ago I was reconnected with my very first boyfriend -from a distance. Things were good until he wanted to swap pics... when he got mine he became very shallow even though I had told him how big I was.... He stopped calling, talking to me. I was crushed.
Over the last 10+ years I've been on every diet out there. I'm very active and always have been, Hiking, the gym, swimming, you name it (but skiing...) hahaha.... For me my biggest problem isn't so much as what I eat but that I eat. As Dr. Wagner of the Portsmouth Bariatric program told me I suffer from flinston eating.... I was always to busy to have breakfast or lunch... So I would go home and have a big dinner of meat and veggies. So as he says my body stayed in starvation mode. Cause it never knew when it's next meal was so it just packed on the pounds. I've lost weight here and there 40lbs or so just to gain it all back. I played the rollercoaster game.
Haviing dietary issues has put my meal planning in a mess. Having problems with gluten, dairy and sugar has cut a lot of things out of my diet yet still no success. Since I was a big meat/veggie eater I started creating uric acid kidney stones. It just seemed that no matter what I did or ate another issue just came up from it all.
My point of finally had it was when I went on a missions trip with a group of women. I was able to see the children I sponsor so to me that trip was a success (can't wait to go again in 2012). One moment there the kids wanted me to teater totter with them. How embarrasing when it took 6 of them and me standing a little to make it so they could totter. I never want that to happen. Needless to say though the women I was with are all Godly women they made me feel like such an outcast. They would barely talk to me. I was the only one who didn't have a room partner. Sometimes I felt like they were really judgemental of me since I was the biggest one there. They wouldn't invite me at night to go out with them or anything basicly I was alone (ok I really wasn't --- The Lord was with me). When I came back I decided that I was no longer going to be the biggest/fatest one on the bus.
I decided to have the lap-band for many reasons.
1. To be able to keep up with my toddler & baby grandsons. I want them to have the Mimi I didn't have. One that could play with me not just sit in a chair.
2. I want to be able to go on more mission trips and be more healthy to do the things that God has called me to do.
3. For my dogs. I do a lot of hicking with them but not as much as I would like... I want them to have more exercise and enjoyment in their lives.
4. Obviously for my own health. 1. to rid myself of diabetes and sleep apnea. 2. to cut back on what I eat to help rid myself of these pesky kidney stones that I'm always creating.
5... Maybe just maybe to actually have romance again in my life. Though that one I may find hard cause I feel if someone didn't like me fat then why should they like me when I'm skinny. I'm the same person with a big heart.. just presently there is more of me around my heart... With each day there is less and less around my heart.....
