gscwford214
lets see... i dont really know where to begin!!! i have never been the skinny girl, always the fat one.... my family is all obese so i never looked at it really..... i remember having a really hard time in jr high, with other kids, i hated life... everyday for lunch i would have a brownie and a mello yello.... i was friends with all the "popular" people, but i was always the 3rd or 5th or 7th wheel, i felt like.....
high school wasnt any better.... one of my worst memories ever, is when i was on our school drill team, it was football season and we were wearing our 'sparkle' outfits for the game, for the first time.... ( which i had always been overweight, and our sponsor obviously knew that when imade the squad), but i remember going to the game, in the outfit i hated, just finding out my uncle, in cali, had passed away, i was crying hystarically, and my sponsor came up to me and told me i really needed to loose weight if i wanted to look half way decent in our uniforms.... i know it was a long time ago, but i still remember it like it was yesterday... as i went thru high school things for me went worse, i started becoming depressed.... i wanted to change school, everything... i hate school, life, but mostly me..... when i got depressed, i would eat... all the wrong things.
i am still struggling with depression... and when i am having a really bad day, i eat. although most people think i eat ALL THE TIME, i really dont, mostly when i am stressed, depressed or something is going on.
i have been married for 3 1/2 years, and my husband is amazing.... actually everyday, i wake up thinking i am getting punked, bc i do not know why my husband would want to be with me when he could be with anyone!! we had been trying to get pregnant since we got married... kids are very important to both of us.... i had wanted to have the wls before, but with trying to get pregnant, i decided to wait... i went thru all these medications, ended up finding out i have endometreosis, and last year was actually put into (medically) menopause (to help the pain from endo).... they had to take me out and started me on different meds... the whole time i kept getting bigger and eating, from stress..... i will say now we have a 3 month old daughter, who is such a blessing!!!!! but now i want to be able to see her grow up, keep up with her, and be able to be the best mom i can be!!!! i dont want her to suffer from me being overweight...
i have a great role-model in my dad.... he had wls last feb (06). since then he has lost about 180lbs!!! i have seen the change in him, and want that in my life.... i want to be able to out walk him again!!!!
i went on aug 1st to meet dr jones and have my psych eval done... i am praying that everything works out,i have tried everything else, and this is my last hope....
