hhippo482
1 Week To Go
Sep 07, 2009
Well here I sit thinking that this time next week unless I die (I know it sounds morbid) I will be sleeved and recovering. I can't believe that it is finally here. I have so many emotions surge through me when I start to think about that. I have excitement when I think about getting my life back and not being controlled by my bodies limitations. I think about walking hand in hand with my husband without needing somewhere to sit and rest after a few minutes. I think about clothes and shoes and health and dancing. I get filled with hope that when I lose this weight my back pain will be manageable and I can get back to work and be more productive. I fantasize about PCOS and infertility being a long gone bad dream and becoming a mother. I also get scared. I am scared of failure. I feel like if I don't succeed I am not just letting myself down, I am letting down everyone who loves and supports me. It feels like such a heavy burden and I know it is just more weight I need to work on loosing. I feel nervous too. I get nervous when I think about being under general anesthetic. I had surgery once and I was so completely terrified. I had no complications but even the thought of it gets my anxiety going. I think about the fact that I am placing my life in the hands of strangers. I know they are professional and I have faith in their skills but they are strangers none the less.These are just a few of the things I am feeling. I know that when I go in there on Monday morning it is out of my hands. I have been praying and asking for guidance and this is the path that it has led me to. When I think of that I know that this is the right choice and God willing I will make it through.
4 Comments
About Me
CA
Location
45.5
BMI
Surgery
09/14/2009
Surgery Date
Jan 29, 2008
Member Since
