HilaryH8103
Life. Life. Life... Where do I begin? I grew up in an amazingly, loving and supportive family. There isn't anything we wouldn't do for each other. I've had a pretty normal life, there have been some bumps in the road and I've made a few wrong turns more than once but overall I consider myself to be a very thoughtful, outgoing, intelligent woman and a devoted mother to my only son and a very supportive wife. I would do anything for the people that I love and for a long time I have, always putting myself and my needs on the back burner but no more. I've realized that I don't have to feel guilty for wanting to take care of myself nor should I.
I'm going to make an incredibly long story very short or at least somewhat short. My weight gain started when I got pregnant with my son in 2002, I gained about 90 pounds in a very short period of time. I had my son in March of 2003 and over the next few months I was only able to lose about 35 pounds. When my son was about one and a half years old my Grandpa had his 9th heart attack and passed away. That hit me like a ton of bricks, I started having anxiety and severe panic attacks where I would sometimes be at the ER up to 3-4 times per week and this went on for months. My doctor recommended I start taking Paxil for the anxiety. Every time I had a panic attack I felt like I was having a heart attack, I've never experienced anything as scary as a panic attack in my whole life. I would've tried anything that my doctor recommended at the time, anything to get these panic attacks to stop, so Paxil it was. The Paxil took about 6 weeks before it started working but when it did I felt so much weight come off of my shoulders. The weight literally came off of my shoulders and started going to other parts of my body. In the first year of being on Paxil I gained about 40 pounds but I didn't care because it was far better than experiencing panic attacks on a daily basis. I had also quit smoking which caused me to gain another 30 pounds. I was fine with the weight gain because at least I no longer had the panic attacks and I knew that if I tried a new diet or just ate healthier foods and worked out everyday that I would be able to get the weight off or so I thought. Five diets later and a ton of working out and the weight is still on me.
January 2010, I made a New Years Resolution that this was finally going to be the year that I lose the weight once and for all. I was getting up every morning at 5AM and going to the gym, I was eating healthy and feeling great. Come March 2010 I had already lost a little over 20 pounds and I was starting to get some of my energy back. Unfortunately, there was a freak accident that involved me falling in the rain in a pair of cheap sandals and I ended up breaking BOTH of my ankles. That's right, not just one ankle, both of my ankles were broken. I was devastated!!! About 3 months after the initial break I ended up having surgery on the right ankle and shortly after that I had surgery on my right knee because we later found out that my right knee was injured in the accident as well. After the knee surgery was completed I had to take things very easy. I would go on short walks here and there but nothing to strenuous because my knee and ankles needed time to heal.
One morning in August 2011 I woke up with major swelling in my feet, legs and hands. I had no idea what was going on but I knew that something was not right. After about 2-3 days of constant pain and swelling in my legs I decided to go to the Emergency Room. The ER doctor immediately ordered an ultrasound for both of my legs because he was sure I had a blood clot. The ultrasound came back normal, all of my blood work was normal, there was nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that my feet were swollen 3 times their original size and they hurt terribly. Over the next 7 months I was referred to every specialist imaginable, I had test after test done and I was getting blood drawn on a daily basis. I was starting to question if this was how I was going to have to live my life forever. I couldn't wear tennis shoes any longer, I practically lived in slippers that normally would've been 4 sizes to big for me but because of the major swelling in my feet it was the only size that fit me.
Finally in April 2012 I was referred to Virginia Mason in Seattle where I met a man that would change my life forever. That man is my brilliant rheumatologist who took one look at me and looked at my labs and said "You have Rheumatoid Arthritis." I kept asking him over and over are you sure. He probably told me yes at least 25 times before it finally registered.
Since that day in April I have tried Remicaid infusions, Orenica infusions and now I'm trying Rituxin infusions. I've tried Prednisone and have also tried Methotrexate which is a form of chemotherapy. So far nothing has helped with the pain and swelling that I experience on an every day basis. I've got to get all of this extra weight off of me. My poor body can't handle another pound.
I decided to have Lap Sleeve surgery months ago. After discussing it with my family and my rheumatologist we all feel that it is the best decision I can make. I'm lucky to have such an amazing support system. Not only am I excited about losing the weight but I'm looking forward to being able to walk again, maybe even pain free. I see a bright light at the end of the tunnel that I've never seen before. This is the only life I get and I'm choosing to make it amazing!!!
