hstull1013
I am not exactly sure where to start with this. I would love to start off with something profound and heart wrenching to display who it is I am as a person but honestly that is not really me. My name is Heather and I am 26 years old. I live in Phoenix, AZ and have pretty much lived here my entire life. I am married to a wonderful man that I honestly do not know what I would do with out. I graduated from Arizona State University in 2009 and I am currently working on my Masters in Psychology.
My entire life I have been "heavy". I have battled with body image issues since I was a child. Growing up I thought of myself as this massively obese child. I come from a family of super critical women who for some reasom obsess over each other's appearances and sure enough I felt that wrath of judgement my entire life. Ironically enough, I am not the first person in my family to battle weight issues and not the first to have this surgery. Nonetheless, whether it is their own insecurities or just valid concern of my well being, it has been hard. When I look back at childhood pictures now I wonder why I was so insecure, I was a normal child. Even through out high school I felt insecure and looking back at photos now, I would kill to have that body back. But I never felt that I stacked up to where I needed to be. Sure I had lots of friends, I had my share of boyfriends, and I lived a fairly decent life; but I always have just felt "fat". I was an expert dieter since I can remember. Atkins, slimfast, whatever you name it, I tried it. My senior year in high school my weight began to change significantly. Out of nowhere I gained 70+ lbs and things just continued to get out of control. I was always active before, I was a cheerleader, dancer, and not afraid to be active. So when I started to gain all of this weight, my self esteem began to plumit even more. I went the doctor who said my thyroid was out of wack, so we started there. And as the years progressed, my weight did too. Again, I went on every crash diet as possible. I tried diet pills, gym, whatever it would take. I would lose a few pounds here and there but nothing to compensate the amount I was always gaining. I began to become defeated and settle for a life of being "fat". Along the way I have experienced a lot of emotional trauma that has definitely not helped with the weight loss and I know that they play a big part of who I am as well.In 2005 I was diagnosed with PCOS which definitely changed a lot of things for me as well. When I met my husband I was still very insecure about being a big girl but he made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman on earth. He was a big guy as well. It was nice to share this factor with one another. We would try and get on track and lose weight together but he constantly would sore above me. He definitely worked his butt off and lost 80+lbs, I on the other hand lost a fraction of that. Again I would get discouraged and contemplate is it worth it. After deciding we wanted kids and trying for a while, I knew with my PCOS that it would be hard and with being as heavy as I am it would be nearly impossible. That is when I decided that I needed to do this. I needed help. I began my journey to get this surgery in 2009. I have jumped through every insurance hoop, went through job and insurance changes and finally on Oct 4th just a few days ago, I was finally able to get my procedure done. I know this is not the answer to all of my weight challenges but I believe this surgery will change my life for the better. I feel that I will be a new person and eventually be healthy enough to be the mom I really want to be. More importantly, I can be happy in my own skin and be ME.
