InnerAnomaly

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I weighed 265 this morning, and just 3 more pounds to lose and then I've hit the -50 mark.  That's pretty exciting.  I have post nasal drip wicked bad, which is causing me to vomit a lot.  My poor little pouch!  I hate food.  I love my treadmill.  I try to make sure I use it at least 3 times a day for 10 minutes each... I'm trying to actually get to use it for 30 minutes through....

So I'm sitting here, staring at 2oz of chili, and wondering when I'll be done with it... if I'll even finish it.  Probably not.  I have yet to finish it...

I really hate eating with a passion now... it's really messed up.  I used to love food, now it's the enemy... I make sure I get in plenty of fluids, and I think I get about 40g of protein in a day... not quite 60, but I'm working my way to that... It's just hard when everything sits in your pouch like lead, and it feels like it doesn't move, ever...

I'm getting over a cold, and I have a ton of post nasal drip, which is likely contributing to the not eating as much as I should, and I've been using my nasal spray to dry it up, but it doesn't take away from what's already in my pouch..

I already threw up once today... all of it phlem... Is this even normal? 

I lost another pound, and so now I'm at 273, one more pound and I'll have lost 40 pounds in one month.  YAY!

Is it me, or do the new profile pages look like myspace layouts?  *must figure out how to tweak my settings*

I had surgery on Sept. 27, 2006, and I made it out alive... It was an ongoing joke before I went in... Dr. Hess was amazing, as was my nurse John (I think I developed a non-romantic crush on him)... I've lost nearly 40 pounds since then... which makes me very happy.  *does happy dance* 

The only issues I've been having, now that I can eat mushy foods, are feeling cold 24/7, no matter what I'm wearing, I'm cold.  My fingers are turning a deadly shade of purple & gray... We're in the midst of cleaning the heater vents, so tonight we can put the heat on, so I won't be so cold all day... And I've had a bad cold, which in turn is causing me to have severe post nasal drip.  Which is making me throw up every hour or so... my pouch just fills up with this crap, and it's too thick to digest, so it just comes right back up.

Not actually sure how much fluid I'm getting to stay down with this cold, but I do manage to drink about 72oz of water/crytal light/ligh hawaiian punch a day... and I've had chili and fat free refried beans for my meals... oh, and thinly sliced deli turkey wrapped around a string cheese stick.  Sometimes I feel like a child with the ways that I attempt to get food in, but it works for now. 

They say no lifting more than 10 pounds for the first 6 weeks, and I say they're nuts.  I have an 18 month old who weighs about 30 pounds, and I've pretty much been lifting him (carefully & minimumly), since about 3 days after I left the hospital.

I had my friend Rachel come over Monday morning after my surgery, and my MIL come over for the afternoon to help me with Anthony, and my mom who was supposed to take a week off from work to help me, decided that she thought that I was doing so well, that I could take care of him myself, so I've done just that... He keeps me running around a lot, and it's good exercise, but it's hard to take care of him, and myself at the same time... so I'm back on the back burner for most of the day, until nap time, and then when Scott comes home... Thankfully I stay up until 11pm, so I can get my 3 meals in a day, and I drink a yogurt in the morning with Anthony...

I'm having trouble accepting the fact that I'm losing weight so quickly, and growing ever frustrated over the fact that I have no pants that fit correctly, they all fall of me when I walk, or go up the stairs, or do anything besides sit down... I don't mind so much if a shirt is baggy on me, but my pants falling off has made for at least 1 public humiliation... and I can't find a belt that works... I hate belts... I guess I'm gonna have to ask Scott for some money and go to Lane Bryant and get some draw string track suit pants or something, cause this is getting out of hand... I'm down 2 pants sizes in 4 weeks... I should raid my mom's closet, she's the next size down from me, but then I'll be wearing flood pants, since she's so short... I'll figure it out...

Anyway, that's about it so far... I'm just glad to be on soft foods, and that I'll be on stage 5 by Thanksgiving, so I can have my own mini turkey day plate :)