invisible2
My fourth appointment with the dietitian
Feb 04, 2012
Still on the path...
Jan 20, 2012
Today, I weigh more than I've ever weighed in my life. What the heck is wrong with me?! I don't have a history of being a stress eater but that's exactly what I've been doing. I feel unsettled, unfocused, unmotivated, and generally anxious. I have this life changing event just over my horizon. I feel like I’m in limbo even though I still have goals to meet before my surgery. I’ve always been very self-reliant and very independent. For the first time, in a long time, I feel like I need someone to lean on. That’s not much like me. I guess that’s why support groups are so important. I hope we can get a good one started in my area.
I've also have been trying to work out a logistical problem – how do I get back and forth to Seattle for my surgery. Seattle is about 2 hours from where I live. My parents are older and live in AZ. I hate to use the word elderly because it doesn't fit them in so many ways - but they're in their 70's. They would have a difficult time navigating Seattle and the aggressive drivers in the city. Furthermore, my dad would be bored out of his tree. He would do just about anything for his kids but, he has to be busy all the time. Waiting around a hospital would make him crazy…bless his heart. My only child, my daughter, lives in ND and has a small baby, a full time job, and a husband. My sister, also in ND, has two small school age children and she's fighting cancer. She has enough on her plate.
Friends? I moved out here about 10 years ago when I was 39 years old. At that age, people in my age group generally have established an inner circle. This is especially true if they grew up a local. Even when an outsider makes friends, you're on the peripheral and it’s not easy to make really close friends – especially when you’re very overweight and they aren’t and they have family (locally) and you don’t. I don’t mean to imply anything disparaging against my friends. They are wonderful people and I’m blessed to have them as part of my life – our lives are just different. Needless to say, I don't have any friends that I could ask to do this - to take the time off from work to drive me to Seattle, much less sit with me while in the hospital.
Then an epiphany! No one needs to drive! I spoke to my mom and she’s going to fly in and we’ll take the train to Seattle! The train station is about a mile from the hospital and there is a hotel across the street from the hospital. Viola! Problem solved!
While I was writing this, a very nice person that I've exchanged messages with a few times here on OH has asked to meet so we can get to know each other. Wow… He is listening.Third Appointment
Jan 11, 2012
The psychiatrist was equally kind and understanding. I never felt like he was looking for a reason to undermine my surgery. He asked me a lot of questions directly related to my mental preparation, my expectations, my knowledge of what this surgery entails and how it was going to affect the remainder of my life. It went well and I left his office feeling relaxed and even more confident that I am making the right decision.
Second Appointment
Dec 11, 2011
I had my appointment with the dietitian. She is this very small woman who was so kind and so encouraging. She really made me feel good about the small strides I'd made over the last month. She gave me very realistic goals for our next meeting.
Now comes the part of the day that blew me away. When I was making my appointment for my January meeting with the dietitian, I told the receptionist that I had my meeting with the psychiatrist next month and I'd like to make it for the same day (because I live about 90 miles away). Well, folks, Seattle is a really big city full of really aggressive drivers, one way streets, steep hills, streets that go off at crazy angles and then change names, and expensive parking that's not always easy to find or convenient. It's not always easy to find what your looking for even if you have GPS in your vehicle. Get this...the receptionist at the dietitian's office told me about a shuttle that will take me to my psychiatrists office. Again, she took me upstairs and showed me where the schedule is and then outside to show me where the shuttle will pick me up and THEN she said she offered to take the shuttle with me to make sure I find it. Virginia Mason has an amazing staff!!!
I met Dr. Chang
Nov 13, 2011
I quess I was worrying about the wrong thing when I was worried I couldn't have surgery because of a too low BMI. I should have been more concerned with my overall health. I have more health issues than I knew about that were related to my weight. It was a little unnerving to hear someone say out loud the things I had suspected, but chose not to think about.
I have thrree months of flaming hoops to jump through before I can meet my insurance companies requirements. Hopefully, I'll have a surgery date by the middle of February!
I don't know if I qualify for surgery.
Nov 08, 2011
Okay. I'm done with the pitty party. Does anyone have advice?
