JanM

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After only losing 1 lb. for 3 consecutive weeks, I have finally dropped 4 lbs. over the past week!  Down 106 lbs. 65 lbs. to go!  Only 29 more pounds and I will be overweight instead of obese!  21 lbs. to onederland!  I was beginning to think the honeymoon was over.  Wonder what would happen if I exercised!  May have to find out.

I took my 7  month post-op pictures today, two days early.  Take a look.  I have been looking at all the pictures I have uploaded from the past 7 months and it is amazing.  I can really see the difference now.  One one hand, 100 lbs. seems like an amazing accomplishment.  On the other hand, losing my last 70-75lbs. seems like an impossible dream.  I notice the weight loss process and following the pouch rules does not seem to totally occupy my thougths anymore.  It is seeming more routine now.  Still occupying maybe 50% of my thoughts (as long as you don't count the time I spend on OH in the evenings).  The best is feeling so good.  

If you read my profile, you know that I have elected not to tell most family members.  My brother and his wife have been dropping hints that it seems like I have lost a lot of weight really fast.  She keeps asking me each time she sees me, "so you are doing this just by watching your portions and eating mostly proteins?"  It is like she thinks one of these times my guard will be down and I will admit that I "cheated" by having weight loss surgery.  They have even planted doubts in my father's head now.  He has been slow to even notice my loss but this weekend he asked my son if he didn't wonder just what I had really done to lose so much.  He would never have thought of that on his own.  My son and his wife gave all the right answers.  This just reinforces my decision as they are looking for any way to discredit or lessen my achievement instead of just being happy for me that I am finally getting my weight off and improving my health.  I knew that would be their reaction.  I suppose someone will eventually slip and tell one of them but if not, they will not learn the truth from me.

I am not sharing my excitement with my progress as much with my husband as he seems more and more threatened by the changes in my body and health.  For the first time in 32 years of marriage, when we have a disagreement, he asks if I am going to leave him!  The disagreements are no more severe or serious than any of our disagreements so it is weird that he would mention that possibility.  Feeling threatened is the only thing I can attribute the comment to so I am just backing off on announcing my pounds lost or sizes down.  He has even been annoyed when I have had to buy new clothes even though I am very thrifty and have an empty closet.  Guess I will tiptoe until he gets more comfortable with the new me and realizes it isn't any more of a threat than than it was in the last 32 years!  Check out my pictures.  Over the next week I am going to try and label them all and resize them.  I love this new profile and the ease of customizing it!
My clothes I bought about 6 weeks ago are now getting loose.  They feel great and I feel great in them!  No one is going to make me feel bad about this life-saving decision that I have made or the blessings it has brought to me!

I am just starting to build this new profile and it is so much fun!  Today I made the Century Club!  I won't write and ask for my card until I stay at this weight for at least a week - or drop further.  It is unbelievable that just 6 months ago I weighed 100 lbs. more than today.  From reading others' profiles, I anticipated reaching this goal by my six month anniversary and so six and a half isn't far off.  My next goal is to make it to onederland.  I have 27 lbs. to go to get there.  I was hoping to make that goal  by Thanksgiving but Christmas may be more realistic.  It seems like the weight loss is slowing so but then when you add up the pounds it isn't as slow as it seems.  Well, better get back to transferring the old profile to this new site.  It may take me the rest of the week if I don't start catching on faster!

I am 6 months and 1 week post-op and I have lost 94 lbs.  I weigh 232 lbs. and I went shopping a week ago and bought size 18s and THEY FIT.  I sent 8 boxes of clothes to Good Will and my closet is pretty bare.  I only bought enough new clothes to get through one work week.  They will just have to see lots of those outfits until I get to the next size.  I feel great but the weight loss is slowing.  I have yet to re-establish my exercise program and that would probably help.  Saturday is the Walk From Obesity and it is suppose to be a nice day.  Here are my 6 month pictures.  Thought I fluffed the hair first but notice it is kind of limp on the side, oh, well!

Haven't updated in a while.  The weight loss is slow but steady.  I have lost 91 lbs.  Only 9 more until I can get my century card!  Eating is going well.  I have recently tried bread (small amount) and it went fine.  I haven't been sick since the first 2 months.  The bad thing is I got really lax about exercise and I need to get back into my walking program.  My hips hurt and I think that would go away if I was walking daily.  First it was too hot and humid, then I was too busy, now it is raining - 3rd day in a row!  There is always an excuse!  Tomorrow I meet with the exercise physiologist at my surgeon's office.  They are suppose to tell me what speed I need to walk to obtain cardiovascular fitness.   I need new clothes and unfortunately my shoes are all wearing out now too.  I have to buy good shoes or my feet really bother me.  Consequently I am not buying anything right now - no money in the budget.  Everything I have is too baggy or too summery.  I can think of worse problems to have!

Oops!  Missed last week.  Work has been so horrendously busy that I hadn't recouperated by Monday last week even with the weekend.  Finally by Friday of this past week things were settling down and we were feeling more caught up.  I begged the owner to let us go home early and he emailed all the offices that we were closing at 2:00 p.m.  It wasn't like I didn't make up the extra hours on the weekend anyway but just getting an early start to the weekend really helped.

I don't think I talked about my testimonial at my surgeon's public forum on the 27th.  I was just a tad bit nervous.  I didn't get to prepare my speech until right before I left work.  There were probably 15-20 people there.  They had some good questions for me and more for the surgeon.  I saw 1 person I knew and my boss' friend was in the audience and introduced herself.  I work one of my "Ultimate Nursing" shirts - heck, I figured I might as well market my company as well as my surgeon, LOL.  It really was kind of fun, especially since I am so grateful and happy.  I was newer post-op than some of their speakers so I am sure they looked at me and thought: "she has already had surgery?".  But that is okay.  Nothing shabby about 76-80lbs. lost!

I saw my surgeon last week and he was very pleased with my progress.  They showed me having lost 73 lbs. which coordinates with my scale (they weigh 5 lbs. different and I way naked at home).  I dropped 2 more pounds by this morning to total 80 lbs.  I see ONEDERLAND ahead!  He doesn't think I will have any problem breaking 200 lbs. and we both anticipate that will be by Thanksgiving.  They drew 6 tubes of blood but said I wouldn't have results for 2 weeks.  They promised to send me a copy.

It is still pretty hot and muggy.  I went to support group Saturday and my co-worker, Deb, who has had such a rough post-op course was there.  We went walking afterwards.  It had rained in the morning and was just clearing up so it wasn't too hot yet, just muggy.  Afterwards I went to Walmart to get my Body Fortress and to Sam's to pick up my Citracal chews and THEY DIDN"T HAVE ANY!  I don't know where I am going to get them now.  Other places have them just not such a large quantity and such a good buy.  My husband tuned-up my Schwinn Aerodyne stationery bike and bought me new grips for the handles.  We ordered a new gel seat.  As soon as he puts the grips on it I will start riding, slow at first!  I will meet with my surgeon's exercise physiologist towards the end of September so I have some time to get back into the routine.  I told my husband this is about the first time I can recall where I was looking forward to fall so the weather would be more tolerable and I can walk regularly again!  I have such trouble with the bleakness of fall and winter and the shorter days that I cannot believe I am thinking that!  I guess my focus is changing.

I came to one painful realization over the past two weeks - having this surgery has not helped my compulsion to eat too much.  I know what portions I should be eating but I tend to think I should have bigger portions.  I will start feeling full but have to argue with myself in my head about stopping.  I actually went to bed a couple of nights full and miserable because I ate too much (pudding was one of the items, the other was just a meal, not a snack).  One night I was full but I kept thinking "I have those fresh strawberries in the refrigerator that I want".  I wasn't hungry but I got in those strawberries.  I will be anxious to start group therapy at support group or I might even make a private appointment with the counselor because I cannot understand why I am compelled to eat when I am full.  Do I think I will never get a chance to eat that item again???  It isn't that I am choosiing bad things, just too much.  I notice that I do it more in the evenings than during the daytime.  When I eat out with others I get normal servings and plates but I stop when I am full.  When I am home in the evening it is totally different.  I know I have had a few really stressful weeks lately so that may be part of it and I also know stress increases when I get home due to the situation with my son and our burnout issues with constant caregiving.  If anybody reads this and has suggestions how to curb this monster, please email me and enlighten me!

I am updating this on my lunch break at work.  Usually I just work straight through but I was tired of staring at the computer (for work!) and needed a break today, hey, it's Monday, OK???

Forgot to mention that I told my doctor about my ongoing issues with constipation.  Here comes your "TMI" warning!  Whenever I have my headaches and have to take the pain medication for days I only pass malt ball size poop.  It seems like that occupies my days - trying to get what should be done in one sitting taken care of and then when I finally get to pass a good amount, it is like giving birth!  I break into a sweat and everything.  This is despite taking Colace twice a day and one tablespoon of flaxseed in my yogurt everyday and drinking 2-3 liters of water a day.  My surgeon recommended Milk of Magnesia but I hate that.  He prescribed Miralax and 4 days later I am still trying to get the right frequency figured out!  Now I have to go all day long, it is far from hard.  I was taking it 3 times a day this weekend as the first day I did two doses and it worked great so I cut back to one and that didn't cut it so I went to 3.  Two may be the magic number.  I haven't had any yet today. 

That is about all the news I have for now.  Thank goodness, you are probably saying if you are reading this.  I will talk to you next week!

I am hanging at .5 lbs. over 250lbs.  I want so bad to kiss that 250 notch on my scale goodbye for ever!  Why is the 10 lb. marks on the scale are so hard to get by each time!  It seems like I just get teased by them.  On a brighter note - I have lost 75.5 lbs.   I rounded it off for my chart but that is the honest number.  I didn't think I was losing last week but I guess I was.  I still haven't got back into the exercise habit.  Work is really busy and when it finally cooled off I had a migraine for 2 days due to the weather change.  Now it is hot again.  I have to work late almost every day this week but then it should get better for a while. 

My friend and coworker went back to the doctor last week and she had a complete pneumothorax on the left (collapsed lung).  They had to put a needle in her chest and drew off 1300cc.  She has sure had a rough time.  I finally decided I had survivor's guilt because I had a smooth surgery and recovery and she didn't.  I really didn't know if my phone calls and emails were like adding salt to a wound or helpful.  I didn't know whether to keep in contact or pull back.  I kept in contact but gave her some space.  She is finally feeling better today.  Her conversation and email finally sounded like her again.  I hope she has turned the corner and can finally regain her strength now.  On a positive note she has lost 28 lbs.!

I saw a picture of myself today from the week before my surgery and one from Christmas.  I don't know how we see ourselves in the mirror but do not see what we really look like!  I guess it is a coping mechanism.  I can really see the loss now. The picture quality wasn't great but I may scan it into my computer and then take one with the same clothes on to show the contrast - it will be easier to see than the ones above where I am wearing different clothes.

Thursday I am attending a seminar presented by my surgeon and I have to talk about how weight loss surgery has helped me and answer questions people have.  How do I organize all the ways I appreciate what it has done for me?  I will have to get my thoughts together before Thursday!  Until next week.......

Yesterday was my 4 month surgiversary!  My how time flies!  Here are my pictures.

16 weeks post-op today.  Only 3 more days until my 4 month surgiversary.  I will take pictures for that and post.  I didn't lose this week but it has been to hot for me to walk.  I think I went one time last week.

I did finally break down and go buy some new clothes yesterday.  Kohl's was having a great sale.  Pre-op I was wearing 3-4X and 26-28 size clothing. I bought 1X and 20-22 size clothes yesterday.  I bought everything snug rather than loose because for once I know they will eventually get baggy!  It is weird to have to have clothes that fit like they are suppose to after wearing them baggy for so long.  Hopefully what I bought will last me until I have to get winter clothes!  I had to take headache medication over the weekend.  Whenever I take the medication I get constipated.  I have added flaxseed oil to my daily intake plus I always taken 2 stool softeners with my pain medicine but I still struggle for about 4 days after all.  That resolved itself this morning, after I weighed, so I am hoping to see a drop tomorrow. 

My friend who had surgery July 3 and still experiencing some complications.  Last week she went to get her staples out and was diagnosed with strep throat and pneumonia.  She is eating and drinking without any problems, she just hasn't felt well due to her asthma and the recent infections.  Thank goodness her new GI system is working properly!  Will update after Thursday.

I AM NOW OBESE!  I finally got out of the "Super Obese" BMI range.  Never thought I would be so thrilled to be just obese.  Last week seemed like a slow weight loss week but lo and behold when all was said and done, I lost 4 lbs. so I cannot complain.  Between the heat and humidity and 5 days straight of a migraine, I didn't get much walking in except for running errands and visiting my friend Deb at the hospital.  She finally got to go home yesterday - whoo hoo!  I think she has turned the corner and will do okay. 

As anyone reading my profile knows, I have an 18 year old autistic son with seizures.  On June 30, he hit his head on his hardwood floor and half of his head swelled up grotesquely (sp?).  He was not himself until about Thursday of last week and he finally looks normal again.  I had him sleeping with me at least half of the last week to be sure we knew when he woke up.  He has a seizure almost immediatley upon putting his feet on the floor when he gets out of bed.  Saturday his anti-seizure medication dose was doubled and it will double again on the 15th.  I think we are seeing fewer of the severe seizures where he falls.  Anyhow, throughout the time he was recovering from the head swelling he wasn't eating well and we realized he hadn't had a bowel movement for over a week.  I started giving him flaxseed oil in his yogurt (hey, it works for me!) and miralax but Sunday came and we were getting close to two weeks without a bowel movement.  Last night we gave him a small saline enema - he laid there perfect for it and he woke up about 4:00 a.m. this morning soaked and soiled.  We cleaned him up and then had to convince him it wasn't time to be up for the day and he came back to bed.  I have also been on-call for scheduling issues for work and the calls have just been crazy.  I got one early this morning before 7:00 so it was really a short night between that and Jacob.  At least we know now that Jacob isn't obstructed.  We are going to do a better job of tracking his bowel activity as there are 3 of us who clean him up and no-one could remember the last time he went which was disturbing when we were trying to figure out if that was why he wasn't eating.

Well, it is going to be another busy week with Deb off.  My other manager is on the road all day today heading to northern Iowa so I am the only nurse in the office.  The good news is, I think they are going to approve a 3 day a week Clinical Manager to help us out.  Just hope we can find a good one who works well with the rest of us.  More next week unless something exciting happens, like I break 250!  I need to figure out another way to exercise with the heat now that I have been migraine-free for 2 days.!