jasmin4200

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Job changes, and upheavals...but i am still standing.....

Today, September 19, 2007 f ive weeks after surgery......fill of 1 cc. Today's weight- 223  lbs,   could be more, but  i don't know if it could be less., Just still grateful, so grateful to have it. Jasmin

Highest weight-  247 lbs-- November 2006
Weight when I had Dr appointment---October 2006 ---244lbs
Weight day of Surgery, August  2007----had two weights in the hospital , one scale said 239.3lbs and the one in preop said---238.8 lbs
Weight  8/31/2007--229 lbs
Weight 9/6/07- 226 lbs...first fill to be done on 9/19/07

In the photo I submitted--Me, Jasmin, on the right, in the black jacket, kind of leaning over.

Hi Everyone,
 Thank you to the sweet souls who write me, and have sent prayers for me. To my Broward County homefriends, I look forward to meeting you in the near future. I am proud to say, that I feel stronger today. Although when  I talked to my boss and coworkers, they said I sounded weak,and I could tell it was kind of a weak voice, but I feel my strength, and have hope. My surgical experience was a mixed bag: the preop people were so nice, the surgeon's assistant was a jewel, the surgeon- a pompous arrogant ----l-, but HEY, HIS surgical skills outweigh all of that, I have to be honest enough to admit......I have had no pain from the surgery, nor pain or difficulty with the incisions, nor any difficulty. So how can I not give credit where credit is due....:-(           you know ?   I was full of gas, air, anaesthesia, et al.....and as a nurse,  I certainly was humbled by having the role reversed, and becoming the patient.  Well I go to his office for the postop check up tomorrow, and my first group meeting Thursday night.  My my, I do feel more energetic...what gifts these things, that GOD has shown mankind. More later, warm regards, Jasmin

Well, today is my  newbirth day, August 16, 2007...just a beautiful day...and just five days after my daughter's birthday....a good omen.  I have been NPO, since 11.50 pm....and want to take the shackels off my feet and go on....feel pretty connected to this site, and have received nothing but great positive feedback from it...see you on the losing side.  warm regards, Jasmin

Well, today, I went to West Boca, and all of the labs and stuff that my pcp did not get right.....Virginia at West Boca, and the staff at Dr. Wizman's office, did the do.....and Coordinated everything....so I am scheduled for TOMORROW 8/16/07....1300 pm...and I AM READY, both spiritually, and stepping out on faith in the name of the GREAT I AM.....when I weighed at the hospital today, it said  239.3, not 247...so that is the true beginning of my ticker tape.....Whats up Joanne, Ken ? thank you, warm regards, see you on the loser's bench....Jasmin

Today is Monday August 13, 2007. The original date of the lap band procedure before it was rescheduled to the 16th of August. Yet I am more excited today, more anticipatory for the 'good things' than I thought that I would be, had the surgery been today. The extra time, has propelled me to the abyss of honesty....what will  I do with this 'new life ?" Will I make good on one of the greatest opportunites in living... a Rebirth ? With weigh loss, will  I permit the loss of sadness and apprehension and just not having good self esteem anymore "? Will i say goodbye to some old baggage that will have NO place in my future ? Will I, even though I am a baby boomer, approaching 58, again find Meaning and passion in life...That is my desire...to reconnect with passion again. passion for something that turns me on and turns me out.....I am not 18 years old and working for Gene McCarthy who I believe will get our boys out of Vietnam...I am not a young college democratic idealist, looking for every freedom, civil rights and hell no we won't go compaign.... I am not the idealistic young black woman with the full and leaning 'fro who believed in the True Black Panthers original mission to feed poverty children free breakfast every morning....I am a fully grown adult, in the 'midst of life," who has paid dues after dues to be independnet and productive, and putting my family first ALL the time. That hs been my mission and my achievement. Though I am not rich, Nursing has been good to me, and provided for me and mine, when other career paths were not so solvent....Will this begin the chapter dreamed of, hoped for, that will live with me for the rest of my journey ? WIll I be energized physically again....having been through so much, and probably chased Death away...will I GO ON and committ to some great live movement....feeding poor children, supporting the persecuted , helping operation smile, sending a piece of money, when I cannot send myself to Darfur or to right herei in my beloved country...can I do some good with the new tool ofhealth and redemption ? Who here, will I meet along the way, who will accept my journedy wihtout cynicism , without judgement  ? will friends come from this very page  ?????? about   60 hours to go...regards, Jasmin

Well I got a call from my doctor's coordinator. She announced to me, in the same tone, that one would announce "that you took her parking space" that she and my dr worked on the schedule   and it WOULD NOT be on MONDAY 8/13/07, but it would be 8/16/07...I am thinking that if she had showed just a little grace and class, I would not have become some hositle....but , OK, it took some time....and I want to be an adult....Thursday 8/16/07 is just groovy.... I do work for a living and have to coordinate these things with approving bosses...but I am going to hold on for the POSITIVE...and ignore this little delay,,,,and lack of class... It just gives me a litlle more time to strengthen me resolve and spirit. Thanks for your encouragement....warm regards, Jasmin

Today is thursday, and I go to the hospital for the day before pre-op on tomorow, although the surgery is Monday. I don't know why , but  I have found myself eating the most reprehensible things and in the most disgusting amounts..these last two weeks.....as I look honestly at myself, and though I post encouraging pictures and wise words near my mirror.I am lying to noone, if but to myself only to myself, what the heck is wrong with me...is this fear, or some gremlin creature inside trying to lay hold of the last of the vestiges of poor self esteem in an overweight Jasmin ?...I shall never be able to lay claim, again, after 8/13/2007, that this weight loss enemy is one that created itself...this tool , that i have chosen, will make or break the rest of my life, and my credibility to myself, and credibility to my mantra of self truth...I dont want to avoid looking at myself in the mirrors or windows as I walk by anymore. And I don't want anyone who may be reading my journal blog, to think of me as negative. I am on this earthly journal for more health in the body, and in the mind, and am dying to eat to live....you all are witnesses to my future....hope that I can earn and return some, worthy, and FUN communications and friendships here....and YES, I know I need to LIGHTEN up...ok y'all.....more later..whats up Ms. Cleo, Amy, Keila ? Regards, Jasmin

Hi Everyone, I have been reading this site since the summer of 2006; reading and hoping and imagining, and drawing a lot of inspiration. Well I complied with all of the requriements, and am nervously anticipating my surgery date of 8/13/07. It seems that , on this site, people don't judge each other, and there is a lot of compassion in the midst of the whole thing. Well I hope that you will take this journey with me also, to be a testimony on my journey for renewed health and better life . Best regards, Jasmin