jbela
Ramblings of a New Post-Op
Jan 05, 2010
It has been just over 3 months since I had RNY. It has been interesting. The beginning was harder than I expected - not only was I in pain, but I had a hard time, and for a good while, keeping any foods down - especially everything that is good for me, such as eggs and meats. I have been eating better now, "unswallowing" is less frequent. I recently found out that I can eat not so "legal" foods, and they actually don't give me that awful feeling that "legal" foods do - I have no business doing that and am trying to forget about this little revelation, as I don't want to mess things up. I haven't been losing as much as I'd like (about 50 pounds since surgery and 66 total if you count those dreadful 2-weeks pre-op liquid diet), but I am grateful to be losing at all, since this wasn't the trend for a long time. It's hard not to compare my progress - some days I feel pretty good about it, and then I see someone on the boards that lost 30 pounds more than I did with the same surgery date, and it feels a bit disheartening. But again, losing is good, I'll take it!
I was on vacation out of the country for about three weeks, and it was so much better to travel lighter: I was able to fit into the airplane seat better (to say "comfortably" would be pushing it), I walked and walked in search of waterfalls and went swimming without caring too much about how I looked and instead focused on how great it felt. I have now tried on smaller pant sizes and they fit me for the first time in years, and I wore white pants (2 sizes smaller) to celebrate New Year's Eve. I went out with my husband and felt (somewhat) attractive for the first time in a long time, and I had much more fun and didn't feel so insecure when he scanned the room. Then I was unpacking and had to organize my closet to fit everything, and ended up taking off clothes that I hope not to never wear again because they are just too big - I have never done that before!
I still felt odd at times during family gatherings and celebrations because so much is centered around food and not only was I not really eating but I was also not drinking (not a big drinker, but still) and at times it made me feel left out of the conversations and interactions, but it's a small price to pay and I know that. I miss food - I still smell and have cravings for old favorites and have the desire to partake, but my new pouch makes it clear that I can't push the rules without paying for it.
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I was on vacation out of the country for about three weeks, and it was so much better to travel lighter: I was able to fit into the airplane seat better (to say "comfortably" would be pushing it), I walked and walked in search of waterfalls and went swimming without caring too much about how I looked and instead focused on how great it felt. I have now tried on smaller pant sizes and they fit me for the first time in years, and I wore white pants (2 sizes smaller) to celebrate New Year's Eve. I went out with my husband and felt (somewhat) attractive for the first time in a long time, and I had much more fun and didn't feel so insecure when he scanned the room. Then I was unpacking and had to organize my closet to fit everything, and ended up taking off clothes that I hope not to never wear again because they are just too big - I have never done that before!
I still felt odd at times during family gatherings and celebrations because so much is centered around food and not only was I not really eating but I was also not drinking (not a big drinker, but still) and at times it made me feel left out of the conversations and interactions, but it's a small price to pay and I know that. I miss food - I still smell and have cravings for old favorites and have the desire to partake, but my new pouch makes it clear that I can't push the rules without paying for it.