Looking Back...

Dec 13, 2010

It's funny how looking back in October at my anniversary party, I thought I looked fabulous in my pictures (well I did) but compared to how I look now? I'm amazed at the transformation I've made in just a couple short months.

Yes, I did this for my health, but I'd be stupid to not appreciate how much better I look now, too :) As far as side effects go, this one is great. I am not self-conscious wearing sleeveless shirts anymore (too bad it's winter), I'm more flexible (I like to fold myself up when I sit down), food is not my priority anymore (though I really enjoy menu planning), I take no medications other than vitamins (coming from at least 5 shots a day and couple of other pills), I go to the gym every morning during the week (whether I feel like it or not) and sometimes on the weekend. I've also started throwing in an excersize video a couple nights a week (Jillian MIchaels is the devil) and it excites me rather than intimidates me. I love being more active and my son thinks me jumping around in front of the tv is hilarious. I hang out in his room and he climbs all over me, sometimes he lets me bench press him (he's a wriggler though) some times he jumps on me too hard and since I've got less padding, I'm finding more bruises. But I can live with that. I can live with this body, I can live IN it. And now I'll have many more years, healthy years, I'll be around for grandkids and great grandkids (eventually, my son isn't even 2 yet, but I can look that far ahead now!)

I should have done this sooner. My relationship with my scale is still emotional, but it's in a good way. I cry at my weight not because of how high it is anymore, but because of how low it is, the tears of joy cannot be held back. This is me, this is my weight, my body, it's mine for as long as I take care of it... that's new to me. I was a prisioner to diabetes for 12 years, and I'm finally free.

I have the most amazing support system. My husband does everything in his power to help me succeed, he eats as I do (only more of it) and he's losing weight and happier with himself. He supports me and listens to me talk about all of this stuff. I have great friends who either have had the surgery or are just great cheerleaders. It's been amazing watching my friend's family change their eating habits because one of them had RNY. I know not every one is as lucky as we are, and it always makes me grateful when I realize that. So many people don't get the support they need and they second guess themselves... and that's just tragic.

I guess the sum of this ramble is that I love my life, myself, my body, my support system, and my RNY

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