jojobean

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SOrry for the delay in blogs.....Guess when you're living life instead of obsessing about being fat, you forget to obsess about being fat.  THings are great.  I am loving my new body.  Dont' get me wrong, I've got some pretty scary looking parts on my body with no clothes, but to cure that, I just keep my clothes on
Making this decision was so difficult.  It was heartwrenching and emotional.  It was hard to lose that good friend I had of food.  I still struggle with trying to eat right, keep my protein up, keep my water intake high, but for the most part I am doing great.  

Gotta go- life is going on around me and I don't want to miss anything...

Joan

I have officially gone below the big 200... I'm IN ONEDERLAND!!!!!  Which means I am down 65 pounds as of today.  I'm really enjoying my life right now.  I wonder what I'll look like in 2 more months...6 more months etc.  I'll maybe have to update a picture soon.   Biggest challenge at this point is keeping up with my exercizing, and my elliptical machine broke yesterday.  Hopefully it'll be fixed by tomorrow.  It's going to be COOOOOOOOOOOLD this weekend, so I'm NOT walking outside. 

Well, enough for tonight.

Well, it's after the holidays and normally a depressing and upsetting time for me.  I don't really know why, it's just depressing.   I had a lovely Christmas and New Years this year, but I wasn't on the program like I normally am.  Lots of snacking and not nearly enough worrying about getting my protein in.  I find that I am able to eat almost anything without problems.  I just can't eat the volume of what I used to.  So, I do have to be careful because I can tolerate so much.   The big area I need to get back on the bandwagon is in the exercize category.  I have been LOUSY at exercizing.   

So, now I have to work on that.  At my last check I was down 52 pounds and that was early last week.  Feels good. 

OK, enough for now.

Well, despite feeling kinda lousy and really tired this week, I did hit the 45 mark.  I have been so tired lately and have been very bad about my exercizing.  The fatigue just sets in and I can't hardly walk up to my second level to go to bed!  I'm feeling really good.  I have not had any problems with dumping.  The only time I get kind of erpy is when I drink a big sip of something right after I eat something.  All in all though, my relationship with food is really changing.  I don't get so crazy in the head anymore.  I'm OK with eating what I eat.  And sometimes I'm just happy to be able to drink a 1/2 cup protein shake just to get my protein in because I'm not really hungry for anything else. 
Well, off to wrap Christmas presents.

Well, just weighed myself and I'm down about 41 pounds.  I had a bit of a stall for a week or two.  But that's OK.  I know that it will eventually come off.  I'm feeling really good.  I can tolerate just about anything I eat.  I stay away from the sugars, breads pastas etc.  But I have had a little pasta.  I just eat a very small amount.   I have been eating a lot of mexican.  It seems to have all I need.  Taste and protein I guess would be what I need.  I am having trouble getting out to exercize.  I've been so busy with the holidays and I'm still so dang tired all the time.  I hope that goes away eventually.  It will be my goal for next week.  I did, however, get back on my elliptical machine which I haven't been on for probably well over a year.  So, that was good. 
Anyway, when I hit 50 pounds I'll take some more pictures.  I'm getting almost to a point where I'm going to need to dig in the closet to find some different clothes.  Yippeeee.  Can't wait till I can't find a thing in my closet that is small enough.

Well, I'm almost 4 weeks post op, and I've lost about 35 pounds since my pre-op weight.   Hard to believe!  I'm feeling very good.  I'm surprised that I haven't had as difficult of a time with the eating (or lack thereof) part.  I think the hardest things are dealing with the fatigue and trying to get all your protein and water in a day.  I continue to use unjury protein powder, but I think I'll just go back to my old standby the protein whey stuff from GNC.  One scoop, 20 grams.  I also found some fruity protein drink at GNC as well.  Wish I could find something that's not quite as pricey.  It's like $3.75 for one bottle that's 16 oz (I think).  
Well, off to get the house cleaned and the mess from the Christmas decorations put away.  I know I shouldn't decorate this early, but we had the stuff out, and it just seemed like a good time....
TTFN

Well, I posted a picture the other day and looking at the preop pic and the pic from Friday, I can see a bit of a difference in my face.  I weighed in yesterday (home scale...) and I am down 30 pounds.   What a wonderful feeling that is.  This morning when I went to put on some dress pants for church, they are very loose.  I just wore them last week, and they really didn't seem this loose.  But hey, I'll take it.  I'm feeling really good.  No complaints as far as my insides go.  I get a little frustrated that I can't guzzle water like I used to be able to.  It's a challenge-- and I know it's a challenge for everyone post op-- to get enough water in.  Yesterday morning I woke up and as we were running some errands I realized I had a bad headache.  I told my husband I felt hungover which was a big tip-off to me that I was dehydrated.  So, I tried to get caught up on water...  I've thrown up a couple of times, but It's usually a combination of drinking too soon before I eat, or eating wheat toast.  I've tried it a couple of times now, and my tummy just says NO WAY GET IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I don't really mind puking- it's such a little amount and I feel so much better when I do. 
Otherwise, I'm doing great.  I'm still getting a bit tired at work, and tomorrow I have to  work a FULL day (*sniff* poor me....) so I'll have to get lots of sleep in tonight and maybe do my walk early tomorrow morning before I work since I know I'll be shot by the end of the day!
Well, enough for me today...

Well, got the official notice from the doc on Weds that I can move to soft foods.  YIPPEEEE It's amazing how just knowing I can eat again put me in a much different mood.  I'm feeling pretty good.  I had ground chicken salad for lunch, I've had turkey breast, beef stroganoff.... I feel human again. It's nice.  I'm ready to go back to work on Monday.  Walked 35 minutes tonight.  Only did about 15 minutes yesterday, and didn't have time to walk on Weds.  I'm feeling great.  No problems to complain of other than a rash all over the side of my abdomen and on my incisions from what the doc feels is an adhesive allergy.  All that is getting better though.

Well, after having my second night of excellent sleep in my own bed at my own house, I'm in a better mindset today.  I'm not feeling so regretful anymore.  I am going to go shopping today even.  And I want to go out walking as well.  I get tired so easily right now, so it's good for me to get out there and walk.  Maybe one of these days I'll break out the exercize machine.  I'm ready to start losing......
Head hunger was a little tough yesterday.  I did suck on a couple of cheetos.....I'm sure that's NOT on the recommended diet...but they sure tasted good.  I just need to get used to my new body/stomach.  Hopefully the head hunger monster will go away soon.  I'm hoping for it at least.

Today, I'm having some depression, and feeling very doubtful about what I have done.  I feel like I've made a mistake.  I feel like a failure because I didn't lose weight any other way.  I am feeling trapped in my new "stomach" and I'm frustrated and sad today.  I am hoping this feeling goes away.  I have a huge rash on my belly, and just in general am feeling icky.   I didn't expect to feel this regretful.