jtshack
7.5 Months Post Op
Apr 07, 2013
Haven't been on here in quite a while. Not sure if that's good or bad. While I appreciated the support I got from this site, I also felt like I got a lot of criticism. Whatever the reason, my opinion is that this is a journey that's unique to each and every one of us. Others can share what worked for them or how they overcame stumbling blocks and plateaus or even the experiences they had along the way, but ultimately, you have to do what works for YOU. For some on here, that's acceptable; to others, if you don't do things the same way they did, well then you're just doing it WRONG. Wutevs. I used to let it bother me and I worried that I would fail if I didn't listen and I'd beat myself up every time I "cheated" based on what I had been told. Again, wutevs. I finally walked away from all the advice and listened to what my body told me to do. It's taken some time, but my body and I have become friends. 
In any case, I've lost a total of 89 pounds and only have 11 pounds to go to reach my goal of 150. I had originally said I wanted to get down to 140, but I'm actually pretty happy with where I am. Eleven more pounds and I'll be on the verge of thinner than I want to be. Sounds crazy, right? Yeah, it's still a pretty weird thought for me too. So I suppose for those of you who aren't at the same stage I'm at yet are wondering what it's like for me with eating and such...let's get to it, shall we?
Eating... 
Well, damn. I'm still not able to eat much. Probably has a lot to do with all the problems I had initially with the heartburn and reflux and all that jazz. They say it only takes 21 days to form a habit and I dealt with all the heartburn/reflux stuff for close to 2 months. Now, I can eat slightly more than I did then, but not by much. The only difference now is that I eat more often - probably every 3 hours or so. But honestly, there's some days that I get so busy that I'm lucky if I eat more than once. Like I said, I listen to my body. Some days I eat more than others, but I eat when I'm hungry. I still focus primarily on protein. Not because I'm trying to reach any particular goal of getting a certain amount of protein, but just because it keeps me full for longer. It's simply more SATISFYING. If I'm on the road for work, I'm notorious for grabbing almonds or the small Snackables meals for eating on the run. Another fave is beef jerky and turkey bites. For that matter, when I'm at home, I love grabbing sandwich meat as an "in-between" snack....or tuna on crackers. Jeez...this is making me hungry!
Now, on that note, don't get it twisted. I eat sweets and fruits and chips and crackers and basically anything I want. I don't go crazy, but there's some days that I just crave sweets and other days that I crave salty stuff...and I absolutely don't deny myself. I don't give myself a hard time about it either. It's not every day though and I refuse to beat myself up over a day here and there of eating badly. Eating out? Yep. I do that too. My hubby LOVES Mexican food. I choose dishes that are high in protein and easy to pick at later on throughout the day. I get the satisfaction of spending time with my hubby, eating a fabulous meal and having plenty of leftovers to snack on later. That being said, I rarely order from the child's menu. Most of the kids meals are just junky with flour coated nuggets and high carb side items like fries...so NOT worth taking up what little space I have to spare in my tummy! I refuse to be held hostage by my sleeve or the price of the meal. I order what I want and take what I can't eat (which is MOST of the meal) home in a go box.
Puking... 
Wow...hadn't thought about this in a while. Rarely happens anymore. Why? Because I know how to listen to my body now and I know when to STOP EATING. What's funny is that I still have a "tell" when I reach my limit that hasn't gone away. I either sneeze or get hiccups...when either of those happen, I know I've had enough and need to stop eating before I feel sick or overly full. It's been a long time since I threw up...thank God!
Potty Habits... 
Okay...I still have issues with this because my diet only allows just so much intake. It doesn't give me much opportunity to get enough fiber in my diet, so I regularly take fiber gummies to keep myself regular. I've said it in past posts, be sure you poop. Seriously. Pay attention! It's agony if you don't and it's so much easier to maintain your regularity than it is to get your guts moving again. I love fiber gummies and I adjust how many I take each day based on how I'm "going". They taste fantastic and they get the job done. The only side effect is that my tummy makes sounds ALL. THE. TIME. My hubby thinks it's funny and it's a small price to pay to have all that weight gone. I'll take it all day long!!
Heartburn and Reflux... 
I still have to take Zegerid daily to control the heartburn and reflux. If I don't, I suffer immensely. My surgeon is urging me to go get an endoscopy and make sure my hiatal hernia hasn't ruptured. I probably will, but being self employed and not insured, it isn't a cheap thing to do. In the meantime, a Zegerid a day keeps the heartburn away!
Clothes... 
I really need to go buy more clothes. I've begun raiding my son's closet because NOTHING I have fits anymore. It's still very tough for me to buy clothes. I finally "see" the difference between the new me and the old me when I look in the mirror, but I still naturally gravitate to the plus size racks when I go shopping. I'm getting better about it though and I know I have no choice but to go shopping soon. It's hard to have business meetings when you're wearing your teenaged son's clothes. LOL!
Body Image... 
~sigh~ Now that I finally see myself as being thinner, it's shocking to see what so losing so much weight has done to my body. I look like I'm melting. I sent the request in today to see what it's going to cost to have a "mommy makeover" in Mexico. Here in the States, it can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $30,000 and I just can't afford that. From what I understand, I'm expecting a quote for what I want done for roughly $7500 (breast augmentation with lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, butt lift). My husband is probably the most supportive person on the planet and he's giving me plenty of time and space to check into this and decide what I want to do. Not sure which way I'll go with this, but the sight of my poor saggy boobs just breaks my heart. Even my butt looks like it's melting down the back of my thighs. I'll post again when a decision is made one way or the other.
Well I guess that's about it. I don't count carbs. I don't count proteins. I don't count sugars or how much water I drink or even weigh myself on a daily basis. I'm lucky if I weigh myself once a week! I do my best to stay well hydrated and eat right and I LIVE MY LIFE. My sleeve was an experience in my life and it CHANGED my life, but it doesn't DEFINE my life. Does that make sense to you? I hope it does and I hope you find what works for you. Whether you elect to have surgery or not or whether you've already had your WLS, do what works for YOU. L-I-S-T-E-N to your body and I promise it'll tell you what it wants and needs. It can be tough in the beginning, but in time you'll understand the signals and you and your body will rebuild your relationship. Laugh if you must, but I'm telling you what I've learned from this journey. Others may scoff at me and tell me that I'm being dangerous by not following a strict diet and doing things in a specific way. Wutev. I've lost 89 pounds and I'm still losing and I'm HAPPY! I'm satisfied with how things are going and how my body is changing and I don't feel denied in any sense of the word. I've gone from a size 22 to a 14 and I'm almost in a size 12 (they fit, but they're tight). I'm riding horses again and getting outside moving and I feel like I've gotten my life back...and I did it without punishing myself or making food the center of my world. That's what got me here in the first place! Eating too much and making food the center of my world - I certainly wasn't going to make that mistake again! While I enjoy eating, food is utilitarian to me now. It serves a purpose. It fuels my body. But it absolutely is NOT the center of my thoughts, my world or my focus. If nothing else, I've learned just how addicted I was to food...I honestly had no idea! This was one of many things I learned along the way while I became friends with my body again. They don't call this a journey for nothing!
Okay...that's enough. I've rattled on for too long. Wherever you are in your journey, whether you're contemplating starting, just getting started, or several days, weeks or months into your journey, I wish you luck and lots of success. Listen to your body. Do what feels right. And when you get discouraged, just remember...all things, good or bad, come to an end. This too shall pass! Keep your chin up and keep moving forward!!
As always, I'm here if you need me! 
