Lesser Julie

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Yipee!  As of today, I've officially lost 100 pounds!!  I am sitting here wearing size 16 jeans - down from size 24.  I go for my (late) 6 months doctor visit in ten more days.  My next milestone will be to make it into onederland.  Only 8 more pounds to go for that goal!

Sorry it’s been so long since I posted.  I’m 5½ months out and I’m down 90 pounds!  I couldn’t be happier about the results I’m seeing.  Well, I could be happier if my skin was springing back quicker, but I hadn’t been counting on that anyway.  My arms and stomach are kind of weird looking - but I understand that if you give it some time, it might tighten up a bit.  One important milestone for me is that I’m out of plus-size clothing.   I can’t get used to shopping in the regular clothes spots in stores.  It seems very odd!

In the dating world, I’ve seen guy #1 in the last few weeks.  He confessed that for some reason he runs the other way when he starts to feel like someone wants to be close to him.  I think I’ve adjusted my thinking to put him squarely on my friend list - not so much boyfriend list.  I am puzzled as to why so many men put themselves out there on dating websites, but apparently don’t really want to date more than once a month or so.  Of course, maybe they’re dating a bunch of women at the same time and I’m just clueless……but they don’t seem like that kind of guy.

Anyway, I’ve seen a new guy a couple of times now.  The interesting thing about this fellow is that he’s in my social circle, I had just never met him.  In other words, we know a lot of the same people.  He’s not all the way divorced yet.  I started dating before I was all the way divorced too (Michigan requires a 6 month waiting period for those who have children under 18).  I was prety vulnerable when I first started dating.  And I guess this fellow is pretty vulnerable too.  Anyway, he seems very nice and appears to be a good father.  On one of our “dates” we went walking on a nearby walking trail - walked 4 miles.  I am proud to say I can walk that far without any problem and can even hold a conversation!  So, we’ll see if this will go anywhere.  We don’t see each other often as he has a challenging work schedule and I have a challenging life with working 1½ jobs and being a mom and all.

So, back to the weight loss info, after five months, eating and drinking are at times still difficult at times.  You really have to stay focused on what you’re going to eat and drink each day or before you know it, it’s the evening and you’ll miss your goals.  I’m determined to stay healthy and keep close tabs on my nutrition, so a bad day for me now isn’t overeating, it’s under-eating.  Usually I do well with whatever I eat, but about once every week or so, something doesn’t sit well and I end up throwing-up.

Work is very interesting right now.  I’ve announced that I won’t be returning next year, so in some ways I feel a bit like an outsider looking in at all of the drama.  Here’s to hoping I find another job come spring!

Well, I’m actually 4 months out right now, but I never wrote to let everyone know how my 3 month post-op visit went two weeks ago.

The doctor was pleased with my weight-loss thus far.  Andy, the exercise guy went easy on me - as I was honest that I’ve not been exercising.  I got a few new food ideas from the nutritionist.  I can eat up to 40 grams of fat a day now - that’s a nice change. 

I was most interested in my lab results.  It turns out I am still deficient in Vitamin D and B12.  Now, they had told me about the Vit D before I had surgery.  But this visit was the first time they told me about the B12, and apparently my last few labs all showed it was low.  I don’t know why that happened, but anyway, I’m now taking Vitamin D daily and B12 sublingual (large dose) every other day.  I’ve been taking them for two weeks and don’t feel any different but I trust the labs and will do everything I can to stay healthy.

One cool thing is my cholesterol is down to 141.  It was 198 on my first labs.

I’m feeling kind of down lately.  Work is not going well - that’s the biggest part of it.  Dating is not going anywhere right now, but I find I’m not all that interested anyway with the work issues on my mind.

I had a moment of self-discovery yesterday.  In the midst of a mini-pity-party for myself, I realized that I am at times “ridiculously hopeful” instead of facing reality.  Three examples:  My marriage - I knew things were majorly off kilter, and yet until my husband finally told me he was gay and had never loved me, I had ridiculous hope that somehow our relationship would improve.  In my job - you know I don’t think I was ever truly cut out to be a school administrator - I’m not terrible at it - but the stress eats me up.  Every year I continue on hoping things will improve.  Now this year, my school board is thinking I may no longer be the best person for the job - and I have to agree - and ask myself why in the world I stayed in this job so long when emotionally and mentally it hasn’t been good for me?  Lastly dating - I am fine with the dates that end with either myself or the guy saying that they don’t think we’re a good fit.  But several of the guys I’ve dated I’ve felt there was potential, and they said so too.  But…..never or rarely call to ask me out (although most still e-mail me from time to time).  I’ve held out ridiculous hope that they would ask me out again when every sign points to the fact that they really cannot be all that interested or they would have already called.

Now, what I haven’t figured out yet is once you let go of all the instances of “ridiculous hope” in your life, how do you keep from sinking into depression?  I’ll let you know the answer to that question when I figure it out!

No, don’t get up your hopes, I haven’t started exercising regularly or anything…..but I attended a conference up at Mackinac Island this past week.  For those of you not from Michigan, Mackinac Island is an island between the lower and upper peninsulas of Michigan, and is special because of the historic nature of the island and also there are no motor vehicles allowed.  You either take a horse-drawn carriage to get around, or you walk.  It is a cool place to visit!

My colleagues and I always walk wherever we go on the island, so I did a lot of walking this past week.  And guess what?  I can talk while I walk now, even when walking uphill!  I had to slow down for other people I was walking with.  The whole experience made me feel so healthy.  I am so glad I got my RNY gastric bypass.

Eating on the island - well that was a challenge.  I brought some protein bars with me and several meals were included in the conference, and I just ate the protein parts.  I thought I was going to need to throw-up one time after eating some pork, but managed to keep it down.  Overall, I probably got close to the right amount of protein each day but was a bit low in my fluid intake.

By the way, I am down another 5 lbs - bring my total from my first surgeon’s appointment until now to 70lbs.  I was able to buy a size Large sweatshirt up on Mackinac!!  This is my first non-plus size clothing item in over 13 years.

I haven’t heard from guy #1 lately.  Not sure what’s up with that, but am not dwelling on it.

I’m glad to be home again with the kids, and the pets were very glad to see me upon my return. 

I have my 3 month post-op visit with the surgeon’s office on Wednesday and will find out the results of my blood tests at that time.

That’s all the news from here!

Today is my 3 month surgiversary!  Everything continues to go very well for me.  I’m down 65 pounds now!  I am on the verge of not needing to wear plus-sized clothing.  My 1X stuff is getting loose! 

I have not gone on another date with guy #1, but we have been chatting online a few nights each week.  I am enjoying the friendship, even if that is all it turns out to be.

School is going better for the time being.

The kids are doing well and the pets are healthy - what more could a person want.  Seriously though, people ask me all the time if I feel better.  I have to admit being 65 pounds heavier did not feel all that differently to me physically.  But each day, I wake up very happy - knowing that my life is going in the right direction.  This is because of the weight loss - going through rapid weight loss is an exciting and happy thing!

So, I’ve heard that as you lose weight, you have more visible wrinkles.  I guess that makes sense.  When you’re overweight, the fat is filling out your skin and all.  I’m noticing a few more wrinkles in my face.  I didn’t have wrinkles previously - so what I’ve heard about wrinkles is probably correct.

I’m still losing weight.  I’m down 58.5 lbs and am 9 weeks out from surgery!!!  I’m starting to get a lot of compliments which is nice.  One thing that people ask is if I feel a lot better.  I do feel good - but I think it’s more from being happy than being down a certain number of pounds.  I decided to make this move before I had a lot of health problems.  And even at my top weight, I was always a good walker.

I took my commenter’s advice and sent a very short e-mail to guy #1 thanking him for dinner.  I haven’t heard back from him - which shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.  I’m just trying not to think about it.  Interestingly, I got an e-mail from guy #5 this week.  I went out on one date with him this past March and we’d done a lot of e-mailing, but had lost contact.  The last I had heard from him, he wanted to go out again, and he needed to check his work schedule and would get back to me.  Then I didn’t hear from him for months.  This dating thing is so weird…..  OK, so now I hear from him.  He told me that things are tough for him right now because he just lost his job (this is becoming more common for good, hard-working people here in Michigan, so I won’t hold it against him).  I told him it was good to hear from him and how sorry I was about his job.  I’m not sure if him contacting me is meaningful or not - I guess we’re just e-mail friends or something.

Back to talk about weight loss surgery……I still cannot always tolerate chicken.  I chew it up really, really good, and still sometimes my stomach is just not at all happy about it.  I usually end up vomiting.  Maybe I’ll quit eating it for a few weeks and then try again.  Yesterday, I had a hotdog and it didn’t make me sick.  Hotdogs are too high in fat to eat on any kind of regular basis - but even before I had my surgery, I generally would only have a couple of hotdogs throughout a whole year.

Work is very busy lately.  Last week I worked 55 hours!  This week should be a bit calmer…..  We shall see!

Well, I had the long-awaited date last night.  It went very well as far as I can tell.  At the end of the evening, he, of course, said he would call again.  But, I find I am very unsure of myself in that regard because he has said that before and then didn’t call me…..  So, while it was a great date, nice meal and very good conversation, I feel kind of let-down today.  I could see myself falling for this guy if I had the opportunity.

Weight loss continues to go very well.  During the work week I really have to push myself to eat and drink everything I’m supposed to.  Sometimes it seems like if I never had to eat or drink again, that would be fine.  I guess they sever the nerves in your stomach when they do this surgery - so at some point, apparently my appetite will return (as the nerves regenerate) and then we’ll see how I do.

I’m thinking about trying to get a new job next year.  I’ve been at my current school for 13 years which is a long time to stay in one place in this business.  What should I be next?  I’ve been thinking about looking into the field of executive secretary.  There’d still be a lot of responsibility but not so many people to please at any one given time.

OK - as soon as I gave up on guy #1, he actually called me and asked me out.  And like an idiot, I said yes.  Crazy, huh?  It’s over a week away, as I’m busy every night next week.  Something to look forward to, I suppose.

My weight loss is going great!  I’m probably due to hit another stall anytime, so I’ll enjoy the rapid loss (½-1 pound a day) while it lasts.  So far I’m down 51 pounds!  Suddenly, I’m having problems figuring out what to wear.  Some of my old clothes look silly now.  This weekend I plan to dig through my old clothes and see what can work.

Because I’m a school principal, I have many, many jackets (probably 20 or so) that are now too big for me.  I’m going to have to find a nice place to donate them to.

My poor beagle has terrible seasonal allergies.  I had to stop by the vet yesterday and pick up prednisone for her.  I’ve been giving her antihistamines for the last few weeks, but this week it suddenly got unbearble for her. 

Weird weather here in Michigan.  Tuesday (first day of school) it got up to 92°, and then the rain from Hurrican Gustav pushed up and it rained like crazy the whole day Thursday and I don’t think it ever got warmer than 60°. 

The first week of school went well.  I am glad it’s the weekend though.  Tomorrow my daughter #2 and I stop by to pick up the proofs of her senior pictures.  I can’t wait to see them!

We’re not doing anything special this Labor Day weekend.  Just hanging around the house.  It’s suddenly very hot in Michigan (well close to 90° anyway) after an unusually cool and dry summer.  I asked the kids if they wanted to make one last trip to the beach, but they said they’d rather relax around home.  My senior daughter is busy filling out college applications and my freshman son is exhausted after his first week of high school.  The kids’ school is not air-conditioned and the building is 5 stories tall.  So, they do a lot of walking up and down stairs.  The heat is supposed to continue at least through Tuesday - so they have some very uncomfortable school days to endure, I’m afraid.

Now on to the topic at hand - weight loss!  All of a sudden, I’m losing a pound a day!  The last two days I have made a concerted effort to get more like 70 grams of protein a day and some days my calories have been closer to 1000, and the weight is falling off!  I have felt hungry from time to time also - which is new.  And if I’m hungry, I find myself something to eat rather than suffer, but I always make sure it’s a protein food.  I never would have done this previously.  I would have gone right for the carbs.

In guy #1 news, you may recall I heard from him a week ago Wednesday stating he would call me this week.  As I said, I wasn’t going to hold my breath, which is a very good thing, because last week came and went with no e-mail or phone call.  I give up.  You know, I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life.  Even being married to my ex, I was really alone.  Guy #1 is obviously not the attentive type either - and I guess the last thing I want to do is link up with someone who will ignore me again.  The search goes on…….

This week, I’ve had teacher meetings every day.  Our students return the Tuesday after Labor Day.  My own high school children started back to school yesterday and both are happy about the year.

It’s very weird to be totally occupied by work during the day.  I find I can’t focus on food and my eating plan.  I can see this whole “eating right” deal - eating 60-80 grams of protein, 64oz of water, no more than 30 grams of fat - this is going to be challenging now that I’m so busy.  The good news is I haven’t eaten bad stuff, but the bad news is I’m not eating enough.  And this will both slow down my weight loss and potentially cause my hair to fall out.   I have to admit that my hair is my one vanity.  My nice hair stuck by me even when my body didn’t look so great after gaining all the weight.

I’ve heard that when they do weight loss surgery that some of the nerves in your stomach are severed and this affects your hunger signals (as in, you don’t necessarily have them for a while).  Currently, I just don’t ever really feel hunger.  This may change, however, as things heal and new nerves grow, so I might have more challenges in the future in trying not to eat too much.  We shall see…..