3.5 months out

Apr 14, 2012

 I don't have an April post yet, so now seemed like a good time. 

First! Take your vitamins! I had a lovely Potassium scare that left me unable to walk for two days. One reason, I wasn't keeping any of my vitamins down. Second reason, excessive vomiting.  The really *good news* is that I am finally able to take all my vitamins.  I'm still wavering in the 500 - 800 calorie range so I'm still stalled on weight loss. I started being able to hit around 1100 calories and miraculously weight started comming off again. Yay!

Still a no go on most solid foods, and ugh, don't even mention meat products of any type!  I was kicking around the idea of becoming a vegetarian, but this op sorta cinched it. I love chicken though so I hope that it doesn't last too long.

Ive been giving away all my clothes since I've gone from a 28 to an 18.  My head is screwing with me though. It keeps telling me to hold onto my Fauves because all the weight is going to come back. I guess that's just been reinforced from all the failed diets over the years. Gotta learn to think in new directions. I still hold up a pair of pants and think ' they must have shrunk! No way is that gonna fit.". 

Our minds really are our worst enemies or best tools. In the same day I can look in the same mirror and see a stunning difference or nothing at all.  Of course when I see nothing at all, I'm also thinking my nose is too big (it's not) my freckles are too numerous (I never cared before) and my forehead is too wide (really).  Where do these things come from? I was never self conscious about my looks before like this?  So yeah, the positive sticky notes on the bathroom mirror are a plus :D

I don't like all the flirting attention from strangers. *reeeeaaaallly* don't like it, even as it makes smile smugly and exalt.  It's not a comfy place to be, to go from the non sexual entity to the 'hey, curves and boobs' chick.Thats something I'll need to work on.

As of now, would I do this again if I were able to go back and have the chance? I'm still leaning towards 'no'. Ask me again in three more months.

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