Time for an update

Feb 28, 2009

Hello ya'll!

It's terrible of me not to get in here and update more often but life happens and that's what is happening in my life as of late. I am down 144 lbs. now and am 12 lbs. away from my goal. I am wearing a size 10 and small and mediums...it's such a delight to be average. I had a lower original goal of 137 but truthfully I don't want to be that small so I will be happy at 156. It's been a year a 2 months since surgery and I am looking forward to having a tummy tuck within the next month. Dr. McCurry will be my surgeon.

My health has greatly improved though I'm still not 100%. I just recently had lithotripsy for the 5th time to get rid of kidney stones and I still suffer a great deal from my gout. It looks like gouty arthritis is going to be my lifelong friend whether I want it or not. I recently went to the doctor and was shocked to discover I have lost an inche and a half of height since surgery, this worries me because it doesn't seem possible. I'm thinking I probably need to have a bone density test and see if I am having problems with my bones. I know that I don't take my calcuim near enough so maybe that has hindered me.

Surgery changes everything and as a result I witnessed the end of my marriage of 6 yrs. but life does move on and I am happy. I am dating a real nice guy and the future looks hopeful. I miss all my friends on here but I just don't have as much time on the computer as I would like too but I do hope and pray you all are doing fine. My daughter, Sierra has recovered nicely from her spine surgery and has very little pain, she enjoys doing just about everything now with no problems...God is good!

It's funny that I am just now beginning to see the real me, not the former fat me. I still do some things that I did when I was fat like turn sideways to go down a narrow pathway because I think I am too big...etc...it's funny how are mind plays these tricks on us. I still grab hold of the door when we turn in the car because I think I am going to fall over as a result of my weight. Of course then I realize that without all the weight I don't move as far...lol I still go in the big stall in public restrooms or look at the smaller ones and worry I won't fit. I still look down my naked body and think I am big but when I look in the mirror I finally see that I am not. There are so many things I still do differently thinking I have to compensate for my bigness but I know in time that too will stop, it's just all very new to me. I also thought that losing weight would give me my self esteem back but I still struggle with those big demons and realize now that I will have to have some counseling to see that I truly do have self worth.

Well gotta go. Take care!

0 Comments