Approved and Anxious

Feb 28, 2011

Well this my first post and I start with fantastic news as yesterday I got approval from my insurance company and am now waiting on my surgeon's office to call with a surgery date.


In fact not only my first post here but the first blog anywhere ever, so please excuse me if I go of a little randomly at times:

I have had problems with my weight from highschool and I tended to opt out of sports because of one reason or another and since then the weight has kept piling on. My heaviest was around September 2010 when I stood on the scales and for the first time saw a '4' as the starting number (405) and I knew it was time for something radical, I just wasn't sure at the time, that this would mean surgery.

I.. just like many of us have tried 'diet after diet' and lifestyle changes that somehow seemed to end after just a short few months, I think the most I ever lost at one time was just under 60 pounds on weightwatchers. It's funny but I look at old school photo's I didn't look at all big by todays standards, but the constant taunts and bullying that I remember receiving tell a different story.

That was many years ago and as an adult I have always had what others see as an outgoing confident demeanor and to a point that's true but on the inside is still that 'fat' kid who never quite seemed to experience life in the same manner as those around him... so time for a change, right.

I always dreamed of many things I would love to do if I were 'normal' and when I realized my weight was starting to take control of my life by my late teens, I promised myself I would be 'slim' by the time I was 21, then 25, then 30, then 35 and now I am not too far from the big 4 0, enough is enough, hence my decision to take back control and start living.

My wife who is also large is the one who suggested I might want to take a look at surgery options and when I saw the costs I just didn't see how it could be an option. We decided to open our own business and our aim was to make good money and pay for the WLS privately and of all things the business we chose was a restaurant, but in actual fact when you're surrounded by food ALL day I didn't actually feel like eating that much and within the first month I lost 32lbs by not overeating and of course running around like a crazy person trying to keep everything organized... sadly the business did not work out and we shut the doors a few weeks ago after which, some of that weight loss started creeping back up. Well then we got some good luck as my wife returned back to work and her insurance benefits appeared very comprehensive and despite being expensive we took the plunge. My wife is now also awaiting approval for surgery.

So here I am now waiting for my surgery date, I am very excited about my upcoming journey and also a little nervous at the same time, this is of course major surgery but then the way I look at this, is that the risk to my life in terms of having the surgery is far lower than to the risk on my life if I were not to have surgery, so it's a no brainer.

However daunting changing ones complete lifestyle might be, I actually look forward to it, but I am a little worried that this journey may also change me and the way that I view things around me and the people that I have in my life.  I love my wife dearly and she is not only my partner but my soul mate and best friend so i'm confident our relationship is strong enough though, especially as we will both be going through this journey although her surgery will not be until around June. Utimately though I realize this journey is not about anyone else, it is for me and dammit I am going to make the most of it to get my health back on track for the first time in over 20 years.

I always liked to go walking but that has become so difficult due to the pain in my feet, ankles, knees and especially my hips which do not recover after an injury several years ago and it's all down to the weight I carry so I greatly look forward to having a spring back in my step. My friends and my wife always told me I used to walk around around like a bull, strong quick and confident, but now I cannot walk around our property without a walking stick for support and if we go the store I use a cart or I am done within minutes. I can't wait to see the reflection in store windows of that bull once again.

Well I guess this is enough for my first post, I will post again when I have some more news.

Ken.

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