Kendra
Original BMI = 50.2
LET ME JUST SAY THAT AETNA INITIALLY DENIED SURGERY DECEMBER, 2004 ~ EMPIRE/ US HEALTHCARE APPROVED SEPTEMBER, 2005
10/26/04 - This is the date of my initial consultation with Dr. Artuso. My primary care physician recommended Dr. Artuso to me approximately one month ago. I was skeptical about weight loss surgery. I did some research and background checks and finally decided to take the next step. I called the doctor’s office and scheduled the appointment. I told my husband and he said that he wanted to go. He had been considering the surgery also.
We had the consultation and we are going ahead with the process. My husband is excited and I am scared and skeptical. I am usually overly cautious. I questioned Dr. Artuso as if I was interrogating him. He answered every question calmly and informatively and attempted to put me at ease. The way he speaks, it seems as if this process could to go very quick. He stated that surgery could be performed in December. Wow! I was not expecting that!
11/17/04 – Michael (my husband) and I just celebrated our birthdays. Our gift to each other – going for our Wednesday Workup! That was an interesting day. I found out I’m should quit smoking prior to surgery, I have gall stones and I should be tested for sleep apnea. My husband had the same results (minus the quit smoking aspect). My husband is tentatively scheduled for surgery on December 16th. I’m going to wait 4-6 weeks after his surgery before I have mine.
11/20/04 – We’ve had our psychological exam done and that has been faxed to Dr. Artuso’s office. Our primary care phsician has been working on our other letters. I’m stressed out. I want to be excited about this surgery, but the insurance company worries me. I keep thinking that I don’t want to be disappointed if we (or me) (or he) are denied. That’s why I'm not getting my hopes up. One minute I’m happy, the next I’m sad.
11/30/04 – Today seems to be a good day for an update. Let me see – all paperwork was submitted to the insurance company on 11/23. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for a yes or a no answer. I often forget about it. I figured I should continue and try not to think about it. My husband on the other hand is a totally different story. He thinks about it everyday. He’s driving me crazy. I’ll post more when I hear something.
9/5/05 – I can’t believe it’s been so long since I updated. Let me see how brief I can make this.
Aetna denied us. They wanted us to jump through more hoops and we didn’t even try to fight it. So Michael and I decided that we would try to get rid of the weight the old fashioned way by dieting and exercise. Well that didn’t last long especially with the holidays coming. We both put on between 10-20 pounds. We didn’t talk about surgery again.
Then I got a new job working for my local municipality. Their insurance carrier is Empire/ US Healthcare. My coverage kicked in on July 1st. I had sort of thought about surgery so I looked up doctors that were a part of the network. I found one and my husband and I went to meet with him on August 10th. I thought he was great. I thought the office staff was wonderful. My husband really didn’t like him. He suggested I call Dr. Artuso and see what we would have to do to become his patients again.
That was the best phone call I ever made. Laura told me all we had to do was get an updated letter from my primary physician and meet with Dr. Artuso and then she would submit the paperwork. So off we go again. We met with the primary care physician on 8/18; he submitted our updated letters to Dr. Artuso’s office on 8/22; Laura submitted our paperwork on 8/23; my husband and I met with Dr. Artuso on 8/30; we received our APPROVAL letters from the insurance company on 9/2/05. Of course I get the letters at 5:00 p.m. on Labor Day weekend!
I am truly excited. My husband is also excited. We keep thinking about how our lives are going to change. I’ll update when we’ve scheduled our surgery dates (hopefully I’ll be doing that tomorrow).
By the way, I quit smoking on July 27, 2005 with hypnosis.
9/6/05 - OK surgery scheduled for next Tuesday 9/13/05. I think I'm gonna be sick. I'm so nervous. I mean my mind is totally running around in circles. It's so bad I forgot to schedule my husband's surgery.
I'm going to have my pre-op tests done this evening here at my local hospital. I really didn't want to drive all the way to Westchester County for some tests. Between the price of gas and the headache of traffic I just wasn't up for it. Besides, I didn't want to miss anymore work than I absolutely have to. I have an appointment tomorrow with my primary physician to get my medical clearance for surgery. Things are progressing now.
9/7/05 – OK so I had my pre op tests done last night. That wasn’t so bad. I spoke with Laura this morning and she already has the results of my blood work. Wow! I’m going to see my primary care physician today after work to get my medical clearance for surgery. My head is really spinning now. I can’t keep a straight thought in my head. I’m trying to prepare everything and everybody. I just completed the rough draft of my Living Will/Health Care Proxy. That was fun (not).
Now comes the time to start to think about getting new foods and stuff into my house. I just don’t know where to begin. I’m stressing out. I figure I should start to try stuff now and see what I like and what I don’t like. I really don’t want to be post op trying new stuff. That really won’t make any sense.
I am slowly disclosing to other people that I am having this surgery done. I don’t like having other people know too much about me so I tend to keep all information about me to myself. I told my mother on Friday and my father today. I told my good friend Julie this morning. I’m going to tell my dear friend Brenda at some point today. I guess I shouldn’t keep it from her. I am going to be maid of honor in her wedding in April, 2006. I can’t wait because I am gonna look good!
9/9/05 - I'm stressed. Just counting down the days. Trying to keep my mind occupied. I play a lot of online games. I do it at work and I do it as soon as I come home at night.
I had a nice big steak dinner tonight. Gonna miss that.
Tests are done. Results are in my chart. Pre op history has been taken over the phone. I now know that I have to be at the hospital at 8:30 a.m. on Tuesday morning and surgery will begin at 10:30 a.m. I know how much this is going to cost me out of pocket. Got that taken care of with Laura.
Now it's just a matter of waiting for Tuesday. Time moves really slow now.
9/12/05 - Oh My Gosh!! I'm a day away from surgery. I totally can't think. I'm sitting here at work and I'm just totally confused. Actually I'm just not concentrating. I got all my work done for the day and now I'm just impatiently waiting for 4:00 p.m. (It's only 2:30 now). I did all my house cleaning over the weekend. I tackled my living room and dining room and my daughter's room. Tonight I tackle my son's room and then that's it for a few days.
I'm terrified. I have no idea what to expect. No idea about the pain after. The unknown is really freaking me out. It'll be OK though I'm sure of it.
9/18/05 - OK so I'm 5 days post op. I'm feeling OK finally. I am a horrible hospital patient. I guess I was in surgery for 2 hours and recovery for another 2 hours. The last thing I remember is the nurse saying to me I’m going to give you something to relax you but not knock you out. Yeah right I was gone! I woke up in the room with tubes coming out of everywhere. Oxygen, IV, catheter, it sucked! Although there was a morphine pump for pain. I did utilize that.
Wednesday I was groggy and unhappy. I did a lot of sleeping. Mostly because of the morphine. Thursday was a little better. I was awake most of the time. Friday I was ready to go home. I was up and dressed and happy. I couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital. I came home and my house was a disaster! God bless the hubby & kids. We did some walking and then I went to bed. Saturday was more productive. Cleaning and laundry. Yeah it’s life back to normal. Nothing strenuous though. I like being active though. I actually hate not being able to do anything.
Now it’s Sunday morning. I got on the scale and I’m down 5 pounds so that’s exciting. I was surprised b/c I put on weight in the hospital, but it’s all water weight. I was pumped full of IV solution Tuesday and Wednesday. The nurses were actually nice enough to take me off the IV on Thursday. Anyway, I don’t have an appetite. I really don’t miss eating anything at this point. I see all these food commercials and I’m good. I was surprised because I never realized how many are on TV. I did have a hard time with gas last night. I’m a little worried about taking my prescription pill so I guess I’m going to have to get over that. I mean I’m on a clear liquid diet and now I have to throw a pill in there 2 times a day. Something just doesn’t seem right about that.
I’m going back to work tomorrow. I love working for the government. All I do is sit in front of the computer and answer the phone. I would rather be around other people then at home so I’m gonna give work a shot.
9/21/05 - This is day 3 back at work. Not too bad. Love my job. If I'm feeling tired I just close my eyes and lean back for about 15 minutes. Usually nobody bothers me.
I am having some serious problems sleeping though. I just can't seem to fall asleep at night. I'm exhausted, and I'm all snuggled in bed, but just can't seem to get that "good" night's sleep.
I feel like I have the flu. I'm being told it's the anesthesia leaving my body; and don't forget you just had major surgery; and give yourself time to recover. Blah blah blah.
I do get out take short walks though. That makes me feel a little better. I am also using a couple of small hand weights to help develop muscle in my upper arms and hopefully get rid of the flabs. I want to join Curves when I'm at 100%. Who knows when that will be.
I am down 12 pounds though. There is something to smile about.
9/26/05 - I finally got on the tredmill on Saturday. Go Me!!. I had to dust it off and take all the clothes off of it. It was really nice to see it again. I've made a commitment to walk at least 30 minutes a day. At first I broke it down to 10 minutes 3 times a day. Then yesterday I tried 15 minutes two times. I like both ways. It really doesn't matter how I do it, I know I'm going on that thing 30 minutes everyday. I have no excuse not to. I turn the TV toward me and just start walking.
I'm up to purred food. That was exciting. I never thought I would be grateful for applesauce and hot cereal. Baby food is not that bad either. I'm really learning to adjust to a new life. It takes time, but I'm getting there.
I did cheat last night. I had a piece of baked chicken. I really thought I was going to die. It just smelled so good. I thought I chewed it enough - guess not! I could feel it in my chest and I just wanted to make myself vomit. That clinched it for me. Not going to cheat anymore. If chicken did that, I really don't want to know how I would react to other stuff.
Current weight is 278. I'm moving right along.
9/28/05 - Had my first post op appointment. It was short and sweet. I'm down 20 pounds, my wounds are healing fine and I'm not drinking enough water. OK fine see you in a month. I love those kinds of appointments. I hate to waste time.
10/5/05 - OK so thank god for this website. All I did today was read a lot of information. I was actually upset and depressed. I have not been loosing any weight. I've hit a PLATEAU!! I thought I was the only one. Then I went into the Q & A section on this websit and now I actually am feeling better. I was wondering what I was lacking in my diet. I know I definitely need to increase my protein. My water intake has been fine. My food is good. I'm eating baby food and grits. That's about it. That fills me for the day. I think I'm going to need to break down and do the Carnation Instant Breakfast. I'm just so scared to incorporate something new into my diet. I was perfectly happy with the baby food. Didn't have any problem with that. Adult food scares me.
10/7/05 - What the heck is going on with me. I really think that I'm going to go friggin nuts. I think that life is totally spinning out of control. I've got no support at home. Boy if Michael ever has surgery he's gonna be in for it. He's not gonna like not being supported. I don't know if he knows how to be supportive to anybody else. It's OK. Payback is a bitch. Let's see how he likes it. I really need to find some help. Dealing with life now is just totally different. I no longer have something to help me through the rough times. I'm trying to be positive for the kids. I'm glad to be alive and I'm glad I had surgery and I wouldn't change that for anything in the world. I just wish I had been better prepared for this insane feeling. I saw one of my friends that had this surgery years ago. She asked me if I hated everybody yet and I told her yes. I was wondering how she knew. She told me that she went through it. From what she knew she believed that everybody goes through a depression of some sort or another. It's kinda like a grieving process. I really didn't understand it at the time. I'm starting to now though.
10/12/05 - OK so I'm starting to find some happiness in my life. I've been eating right and exercising. I even had a hot wing a couple of days ago. I had such a craving for them. I'm over it now though. So I'm now down 25 pounds. I'm slowly but surely getting there. I haven't tried the protein shakes yet. I think that might help to kick start my metabolisim. I'm happy with coming down about a pound a day. That's fine with me. I kind of think that if it's more than that then I might get sick or worse I might not be able to keep the weight off. I know that writing about it makes me feel better too. It gives me an outlet for my thoughts, fears and just overall insanity.
It's funny b/c everytime I look in a mirror I see a 300 pound person. I don't see me 25 pounds lighter. I almost think the scale is not telling me the truth. I mean I breath better. I have a little more energy. I am building up some endurance on the tredmill. This is the first time that I have been this dedicated to the tredmill. Even when I was going to Weight Watchers (years ago) I didn't walk like I do now. I have missed a day here and there. I'm not on it 7 days a week. I'm on it 6 days a week though. I take Sundays off.
I'm speaking at a 35th anniversary dinner on October 22nd. I'm excited. I want to be down another 10 pounds by then. I'll keep working. I keep telling myself that everytime I get lazy. That gets me up and moving.
10/14/05 - I'm down to 269. That makes me happy. I haven't seen that number in a couple of years. It's so funny. I was going out to celebrate my friend's birthday. I knew I wasn't going to be able to walk on the tredmill after I got home. I jumped on it and did a 10 minute power walk. I was so tired when I got off that thing I thought I was gonna die! It felt good to make the decision to do that. I guess my lifestyle is changing (a little bit).
11/14/05 - So I'm finally down to 259. It was a major struggle to get here. OK so maybe major is an exaggeration. It was difficult. I wanted to be at 252 today, but it's OK. I haven't been faithful to my exercise. I'll just work a little bit harder during the next month. I try not to get too discouraged. I try to be aware of what I'm eating and what exercising I'm doing. I am also trying to be positive about life in general.
Something that I didn't expect at this time is getting flirted with. I mean it's really cool. That hasn't happened in so long. I was in shock when one of the guys that delivers to work asked me to go out. Go me! Of course I said no, but it was definitely an honor to be asked.
11/28/05 - OK time to update. This has been a stressful month. I have slacked off all around my life. I've got so much going on I don't know if I'm coming or going. Let me say that I am now 250 pounds. I think I should be less than that, but I stopped walking daily on the tredmill. Needless to say I haven't been watching any CSI either. That really sucks. That's the promise I made to myself and that's what I'm sticking to.
Thanksgiving was not a bad day. I stayed away from the carbs and was able to only gain 1 pound. I was totally excited over that. I just have a lot going on with work, home, family, friends, Christmas is coming. I'm totally going nuts now.
I will hopefully do better in the coming days. I want to be down another 10-20 pounds before christmas since I'm going to North Carolina to see my skinny relatives. Can't wait to strut my stuff in front of them.
I can say that my self esteem is increasing. I am feeling really good about myself. Men are starting to notice me in a different way now. Before I was the really fat chick. Now I'm the cute chick with the big ass! That's OK b/c around here I'll take any compliment I can get.
1/4/06 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I'm down to 242 and I feel great. The changes in my life are totally awesome. I keep going though. I hit some hard times and some times of up and down. I figured it's the holidays and that's going to happen no matter what. I can say that I am just so happy with me.
Last night I was making dinner and my jeans were sliding down. I was mad. My kids asked me what was wrong and I told them that my jeans are getting baggy. They said that's a good thing. I said yes, but I love that pair of jeans and I've only had them a month.
1/29/06 - So I've been very lazy with my updates. Let me see where do I start. I joined Curves a few weeks ago. I was given a two month free membership at Christmas time. I didn't start right away though. I kept putting it off. I think I finally went on the 14th. Then I didn't go back. I enjoyed the workout but just didn't want to go back. I guess I'm just funny. I was very content with exercising at home. Nobody could see me. Nobody could therefore judge me. So as long as I exercised at home I was OK.
Then my motivation hit me - the wedding. I have to be in shape for the wedding in April. That was what I needed. So once that hit me in the face I then got up bright and early that next morning and went to Curves - that was a week later. I made myself a promise that I was going to go 3 times a week from now at least until the wedding. Well I can say that I have. It was great. I love it. I go right after work on Tuesday and Thursday. I get up on Saturday morning before I do anything else and get there. I am happy that I am doing this. It feels good to do it for me.
Let me see what else is going on. I'm down to 234 lbs. That's awesome. I was on a 238 lbs. plateau for about 2 weeks. That was rough. I didn't think it would ever break. The holidays and the food wrecked havoc on my body. It's OK to still continue to keep going on the journey for a new life. It's a struggle, but it's worth it.
2/13/06 - So I'm at 226 today. I'm excited but I don't know if i'll be there tomorrow. See I've been in bed with the flu for a few days now. All I did was drink tea. I couldn't eat anything. Well this afternoon I ate. I had a wonderful meal at Chili's. They have an awesome chicken meal with bacon, cheese, tomotoes, veggies, salad. Totally wonderful. I'll get on the scale tomorrow and see how much I put on. I was at 231 before I got sick so it is what it is. I know I'm still happy with me.
I still go to Curves, although I didn't go on Saturday. I had a good excuse though. My temp was 102. I couldn't get out of bed for anything on Saturday. No I didn't make up for it by going today. Although I did have the day off from work and I spend the day in Middletown shopping. I had to have burned some calories today. I hope I did with the amount of money I spent. I'm hoping I burned calories taking my credit card out all day long.
Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to those people that are in love. YUCK!!!!
5/10/06 - Well it's been a long time since i've updated. Life has been totally nuts. My dear friend did get married on April 22nd. The wedding was beautiful from beginning to end. I was thrilled with the way everything turned out. My maid of honor dress had to be taken in a lot even though when we ordered it we ordered it 4 sizes smaller then what i was in November, 2005. I'm very happy with my weight loss.
I'm down to 212 lbs. I'm not rushing anything. I go walking a mile everyday. I go to Curves 3 times a week. I'm eating sensibly and it's really not hard to do anymore. Eating right is coming very naturally to me now. It's great. I actually see the difference in me now - both physically and emotionally.
It's killing me to buy clothes though. Most stores I'm a 16 or 18. Every once in a while I'll hit a store where clothes are cut small and I'm like a 2X and that bothers me, but if I like the way something fits or I like the way I look in it then I buy it and just take the tag out. That way I don't have to look at the size. Then I just tell myself it's like a size 18.
I totally enjoy the attention that I'm getting too.
5/25/06 - I can't believe I'm down 95 pounds. That's so totally awesome. I'm so close to being down 100 pounds. I'm so totally excited. Then right after that I'll be in Onderland. That would be totally awesome too. i haven't been under 200 pounds since freshman year in high school i think. Maybe even junior high school. Life is great. I'm so happy. I think everything is going to be fine. I'm just happy
9/14/06 - OH MY GOSH!! It's been 1 year and 1 day since my surgery. I can't believe that at this time last year I was in the hospital complaining about how much pain I was in and how much I hated the nurses and how uncomfortable the hospital bed was. I'm such an ungrateful bitch at times (BIG EVIL SMILE)!!
Here I am today 200 lbs and looking fantastic. I've got another 50 lbs to go. I'll get there. I'm taking it slow. I really am not in a hurry to get rid of this weight. It's funny b/c I look in a mirror and at times I can't believe what I see. I'm thinner.
I'm still having a difficult time shopping for clothes. I'm still buying larger sizes. I'm in a 14/16 now and it's not tight. It's comfy. Everytime I go to reach for a size "L" or "Large" I have a voice in my head telling me there is no way I can wear that. Then I try it on and it fits. It's a totally earth shaking experience for me. It's funny b/c I still shop in the Plus Size section @ Walmart. I can't seem to leave that comfort zone. I think that if I try to go into the regular women's sizes people will look @ me like "why is that fat lady in this section."
I still see me as fat - thinner - but still fat.
So let me see. Where to begin. The summer was relatively uneventful. I've stopped going to Curves. I just ran out of ambition and interest and money. I figured I can exercise on my own and I need money for other stuff in life - bills, kids, living.
Now I'm working 2 fulltime jobs instead of a full time job and a part time job. It's interesting when it comes to eating. I try to be mindful of what I eat.
I can honestly say that every month during my period I eat whatever I want whenever I want and I really don't care. I just simply don't get on the scale for the week.
I do feel good about the weight I'm at. The body doesn't hurt. I can run around. I'm just enjoying life more and more.
10/11/06 - I'm in Onederland (196). Wow. I really didn't think it was possible. I can now get on the scale FULLY DRESSED and be under 200lbs!!! GO ME - GO ME GO ME!! It's funny b/c I'm actually wearing clothes from the Misses size section of the store. Everytime I have considered going into that section I had the distorted thought that a buzzer would go off and a sign would flash telling me to go back to the plus sizes. I'm thrilled to say that I'm wearing a size 14 in jeans and a size 12/14 in shirts. I still see me as fat. I don't think that's ever going to go away.
10/20/06 - So I've just uploaded pictures that I took today. Why is it that I know that I've lost all this weight and yet I look at the pictures and all I see is a fat me. I really do think something is terribly wrong with me mentally. I can't seem to be happy with myself. I wonder if there will ever be happiness? I wonder if I'll ever see myself as OK.
It's such a dreary day and my mood is so down. Maybe when the sun comes out I'll have a better outlook on life.
12/12/06 - It's a dreary day but I'm actually in a good mood. My 2 month wight stand still is finally over. Actually it's been been more of my weight going up to 197 then down to 195 then up then down. Been a stressful couple of months. It really wasn't a surprise. I've been really really really bad with my eating habits. This week I looked in the mirror and told myself to stop the bullshit already. I gues that will work for a little while. I'm down to 192. Today I can say that I love the challange of life. Tomorrow I might be saying the TOTAL opposite.
1/2/07 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!! This is going to be a good year. My resolution is to live through this year. I want to live! I want to enjoy life! That's it. No diets. Not going to quit smoking. Not going to be a nicer person. Just living life. That's the big resolution for this year. I refuse to watch life pass me by!
I got on the scale this morning and I'm at 194 lbs. I've now seen it and I don't plan on seeing it again. This is the heaviest that I want to be. The only place to go from here is DOWN!! I know I can do it. I was on an eating binge yesterday and now that it's out of my system I don't plan on doing it again until next New Year's Day.
Come on 2007 I'm ready for ya!!
2/22/07 - Working 2 jobs is a definite plus. I don't sit at home and eat as much. I'm down to 187 and I'm very excited. I don't remember being this weight when I was younger. I know there was a time in my teenage years when I didn't go near the scale. Now I'm on the scale once a week and I'm happy with my progress. I'm thinking that 1 pound a week is good progress. If I can keep that up then I'll reach my goal weight maybe before I go on vacation in August. I would love to surprise my family with my progress. They haven't seen me since December, 2005 which was right after I had surgery.
3/19/07 - Got this killer belly virus. Really don't like feeling this way. On the upside though, I am down to 182. Been a slow journey but one that I don't mind taking. Just a quick little update today.
6/14/07 - OMG it's been 3 months since the last posting. Hmmm let me see. Turns out I didn't have a belly virus at all. The gallbladder needed to come out. I had that sucker removed on April 12th.
No wait let me back up to my parents coming for a visit at Easter time. Now mind you they haven't seen me since I was 3 months post op. Now they walk into my job when they arrive and the first words out of their mouth is "are you sick?" I'm like um no i'm not. My mom is like well you need to eat more and you look sick. I was like ummm hello the surgery is doing what it was suppose to do. So needless to say my folks think I'm dieing. I do love them very much though. Just think how my mom reacted when I told her I had another 25 lbs to drop. I though she was gonna have a heart attack right then and there (he he he). I told her that right now I'm overweight and I want to be at normal weight. She doesn't agree with it but she knows she can't stop it either.
Then a week after they returned to NC i had my gallbladder removed. It was really an easy surgery. Home from the hospital by like 4 in the afternoon. Back to working both jobs the next day. I finding that there are foods and drinks that do upset my belly but nothing like when I was havin the gall bladder attacks. Now the stuff that doesn't agree with my belly i just take a nice quick run to the potty. I've found that cream does that to me. I'm fine w/ ice cream though. It's all just odd.
Anyway, I'm down to 173 today. Not bad. Not where I want to be but my eating has just sucked. I've been emotionally eating and I think it's getting a little too far out of control. Gonna have to refocus myself YET AGAIN!!
I want to take the family to Jamacia. I want to have a hot body when I do go to Jamacia. I think I really am going to order that total body makeover thing. I think it's the only thing that I can do at both jobs and I wont have a lot of crap to transport back and forth.
Hmmm we'll see.
1/25/08 - I'm back. I've been gone way too long. I'm at 168 lbs. I figure another 14 lbs and I'll be at "Normal" weight. It's kinda exciting to be at this point in my life. I was actually happy in the 170s range for a long time. Then my body dedcided it want to start dropping pounds again so here I go.
There haven't been many changes to my life. I do find I am talking about surgery a lot to people. I think that I'm very comfortable with myself now. I'm wearing size 10 in jeans and mediums in shirts.
I was considering getting some plastic surgery. One of my co-workers has had a couple of plastic surgery procedures done. I think early last year it was his belly and later in the year (on my birthday) it was his back. He looks good. I think he feels much better about himself these days. I just dont know if i want to take that route though. I mean i would love to get rid of the thunder thighs and the "baby belly" that I have. Who knows. Maybe I'll join a gym or Curves and see how it all works out.
The kids are growing by leaps and bounds. Eric is a senior this year and will soon be moving on with his life. Kayla is such a pre-teen. Mood swings galore!! Joseph is my fun loving kid. He's just so happy with life. He doesn't allow too much to get him down.
I really am lucky to have all these blessings in my life.
9/20/08- OK so it’s been 8 months since I last updated. What massive changes. First of all I’m at 188 lbs. It’s been a rough year. Depression is a BITCH! Michael and I were not together for a while and I was soooo very happy for a while there. Then we got back together and I was happy for a brief minute – a very brief minute. Then the depression kicked in and so did the eating and the drinking. So I’ve started to listen to the guys that I work with and I’m getting an education from them regarding working out, protein shakes and living a healthy lifestyle. So I guess I better get myself back on track. Reading and realizing that I’ve put on 20 pounds in 8 months scares the shit outta me.
1/2/09 - I'm at 193 pounds. Up up up I continue to go. I am considering weight watchers and curves again. We'll see what the finances allow.
| K | Kind |
| E | Enjoyable |
| N | Naive |
| D | Delicious |
| R | Rounded |
| A | Accurate |
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