KHughson1

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As you may have noticed, I had been hoping and hoping for a surgery date.  I got one...three weeks ago.  
I am three weeks out and have already managed to lose 40 pounds. 
I am getting used to the way I have to eat and trying to not get too bored with the foods I'm eating.  I have been having strong gag reflexes to things ever since the surgery.  Smells seem more intense, and the sight of things can gross me out really easy.  I don't know if that's the quitting smoking thing or what...but eew.
So far so good it seems.
I'm having a hard time getting my protein in.  The supplements aren't bad - as long as they are mixed with something that will kill the taste - like crystal light thingies (and water).  
I'm having intense cravings for fruit - especially watermelon and bananas. Oh - and I would love to gnaw on a carrot!   I'm not yet allowed to have vegetables of fruit, but I'm hoping that @ my next nutritionist appointment, I can be allowed a little bit... :)
That's all I"ve got for now...  Have a fun day!

Gotta tell ya.  I am quite cranky today.  I am not liking anything having to do with anything.  I am 28 days out from finally quitting smoking.  I must say - that's easier than any diet I have ever tried before.  ON the other side, my nerves are getting shorter and shorter.
Honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with the smoking.  I think I"m working to damn much.   I work full time as a counselor in the school system, then work part time (ahem...20 - 30 hours a week) at Lane Bryant.  While, I love both jobs, both jobs are irritating the HELL out of me at the moment.
School:  Well, it seems like the administration here thinks that I can perform miracles.  Last time I hopped in a pool - I did not walk on  water.  I cannot perform miracles.   I know I'm a "big" girl, but that doesn't mean that I can split myself and be two places at once!!!  I have been told that I need to attend two meetings - at the same time - on the same day.  I told my boss that the times interfered, so now, I need to go to one, then the other.  I don't like being late - so that causes a bit of a problem for me.
Lane Bryant:  Yes - I get a great discount.  I will use that discount after my surgery to get smaller sizes.  Right now though - I haven't had a day off in 21 days.  I'm starting to get frazzled, stressed, and really irritable.  I do NOT like many of my ghetto ass customers.  I'm tired of being snapped at (literally....with fingers...that's how trifling people are...) to get help.  What ever happened to excuse me?  When did people stop watching their own children while they shopped?  Can anyone tell me why I'm the fucking babysitter while the parent shops?  Frankly - I don't care if their kid gets hurt - it would be their own damn fault! 
I'm fucking sick and tired of everybody and everything.  I wokr in a low-income area.  The kids are great (mostly).  It's the parents that are pathetic.  The parents don't care about education.  Why should they...especially since they get free money each month without working?  
Oh - and we are celebrating black history month.  BUT - we're not celebrating any other "history" month.  March is Women's history month...are we celebrating that???  NO.  We haven't played the national anthem all year - but all of a sudden we are playing "Lift Every Voice" aka...the "Black National Anthem." I"m sorry...I thought it was "ONE nation under God..."   Whatever.
Sorry for the negative tone - but I just had to vent.  I"m really tired of everything and everyone.  I want people to leave me alone.
AND - if one more person asks me how "far along" I am, I swear, I may go off and smack the snot out of them!!!

It has been three months since I have written anything -  so I thought I would give an update on surgery - and other stuff.

I am doing much better with my moods (as I posted in my last blog).  My doc upped my dose on my anti-depressants.  

I have a SURGERY DATE!!!  I will be doing the RNY on March 19, 2008.  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.  I ended up going onto my husband's policy.  Get this - we both have Optima.  I work for the school system, he works for the fire department.  Same city.  However - the school system opted not to purchase the obesity rider, but the fire department did.  SO - YAY!!!  I"m getting surgery.

I have done my orientation, had an appointment with the surgeon.  Yesterday I met with the director of the facility which set up all of my other appointments.   Fortunately, I"m getting them all done on February 18th - a day when I am not working!!

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I also work at Lane Bryant part time.  I love the job.  I got a promotion - to part time management.  Yay!  That means I get a little raise - and keys to the store.  I have to keep working there for a while so that I can pay the ridiculous insurance premium on my husband's insurance.  Can you believe it will cost $460 A MONTH?!?  I think it's ridiculous - but it's better than paying $25,000 for surgery!!!

That's about all that's going on in my world right now.  I'm so EXCITED!  I'm counting days already...I think there are 74 days left until surgery.... :)

I'm not in a good mood today.  I feel like curling up and disappearing for a few days. Unfortunately, that's not really possible.  I'm on anti-depressants and I'm wondering if I should talk to my doc about upping the dose.  Then again - this feeling hasn't lasted for too long.  It's been off and on for two or three weeks.  Ugh.

I talked to another counselor in the school system who had the surgery and has the same insurance I do.  She said her insurance covered it without even so much as a pre-auth.  That's just weird.  Then again, I don't want to take that chance that they won't pay it. So...I guess I'll have to get on my husband's insurance anyway.  

I'm just not happy today.  This sucks.  This is not my normal self.  YUCK.

Well, I made my appointment for my consult with Dr. Spencer - October 16th. Yay.  I have this slight little twinge of excitement about it, even though I am almost positive my insurance won't cover it.  That sounds unusually pessimistic of me - but - I'm so over insurance!!!
 I had previously spoken to my PCP, and he said my insurance would cover my CONSULT.  Which is fine.  I may just fight the hell out of the rest...BUT...my husband's open enrollment for insurance is coming up in October.   From what I understand, his PPO  currently covers the surgery - but this round may not.  I will need to get all the paperwork before seeing what's covered and what's not.  So, cross your fingers - I may be able to use my husband's insurance as my secondary - and have it covered.

OH!! I have been using a pedometer for the past two weeks and trying to get 10,000 steps per day (about 5 miles) which is recommended.  It's kind of funny - I am actually getting to that point.  In fact, one day, I made it up to EIGHT MILES!! Gotta tell ya, it's amazing I'm not a twig as much running around this school as I do.  Between the school I work in and the LANE BRYANT I work at, I walk quite a bit!!!  

I'm thinking about going back to Curves to work out even more.  I have been a member there for about 3 years.  I haven't been in about 10 months or so.  I am ashamed of how much I have balooned up in the past ten months.  I'm sure they would understand and be encouraging - but at the same time, it's more of a sense of personal failure, shame and embarassment.  I guess I should just suck it up and deal with it!!!

I joined Obesityhelp.com today.  A customer at one of my jobs told me about this site.  She had gastric bypass in January and has had a lot of success.  I attended a seminar a few weeks ago - however, I learned that the Portsmouth Public Schools does not pay for the Obesity Rider.  
I have Optima HMO -  who has given me a lot of trouble just for anti-depressants.  I can only imagine the problems I will have trying to fight this.
Well...I went to see my PCP last week.  He is all for doing whatever he can to make sure this gastric bypass thing happens.   He will be calling my insurance to find out exactly what the requirements are for the surgery and as he put it, helping to "fight the good fight."  
I find it absurd that my insurance company will pay for a breast reduction, but not this.  I mean...HELLO!!!  Having a big old gut is bad for your back too!!! Whatever...they're a bunch of idiots anyway.
And...I can't understand why on earth they won't cover the surgery - but will cover all of the medical problems that come along with obesity.
I plan on fighting this tooth and nail.  I have been told that I am an extremely hard-headed individual.  I guess we shall see what happens.

I guess I will give you a little history on me.  I have had weight problems since I was very young.  My first diet was when I was seven - I was in the second grade.  No fun.
I gained quite a bit of weight until my freshman year in high school.  That year, I lost around 100 pounds and kept it off until the beginning of my senior year.  I kept it off through excessive exercise and starvation - not to mention athletics at my high school.  It got so bad at one point, I had to get cat scans and was put on medications because of the fainting, dizziness and headaches associated with my refusal to eat.  It's bizarre that nobody diagnosed me with an eating disorder.
I started gaining back the weight my senior year in high school and throughout my college years.  I am way past where I started.  It totally sucks. About a year and a half ago, I lost 80 pounds doing Atkins. I also had a prescription for Phentermine - an "appetite supressant."  I put that in quotations cuz it sure didn't supress my appetite.  As soon as I started eating carbs - I started putting weight back on.  I am about 30 pounds away from where I was when I started.
I have gotten to the poing where I need a better "TOOL" for handling this.  I have prayed it over and feel comfortable with surgery.  I also pray every day that this will go well.
I have an extensive history of family medical problems. However, the only ones I have personally are high cholesterol and depression.  Quite a few comorbidities run in my family - heart disease, diabetes, stroke, high blood pressure, cancers - to name a few.
Please, if you come across my page - please say a little prayer that all will work according to his will - which hopefully is in line with my desire to have the surgery.  
Thanks
Kelly