Kim M.
Entry #119 - 08/19/2010
Aug 19, 2010
I apologize for my extended absence. Unfortuntately, it has not been due to my being busy enjoying my life. It has been because I have been stuck in a hole of depression. Also, I have felt so ashamed about my food choices and resulting weight gain.I made the decision to wean myself off of my meds at the beginning of the year. The high of losing so much weight so quickly left me a bit delusional. I thought I could take on the world. I thought I could free myself of all illness and medications. I underestimated the grip that the illness of depression has upon me. DUMB DUMB DUMB
The good news is that I recognized that I needed help, saw a doctor, and started back on meds this week. I am feeling a bit more stable already. I just hope and pray that I am feeling more like myself within the next couple of weeks. We are leaving for Disney World on September 3rd!!!
I was so miserable when we went to Disney World in 2008. 350 pounds + 90 degree temps + tons and tons of walking for 8 days left me in pain from head to toe. I felt like such a burden to my family. I left the parks many times alone because I felt I was slowing them down or keeping them from having fun. I spent many times alone in our hotel room crying - no, SOBBING - and hating myself for the condition I allowed my body to get in. To sum it up, IT TOTALLY SUCKED!!
I still have a way to go with my weight loss. I need to get back on track with my food choices and exercise routine. I am positive that 230 pounds + 90 degree temps + tons and tons of walking for 8 days will be painful, BUT I know that it won't be even close to as prevalent for me this time - THANK GOODNESS. And I will do anything I can to make sure the word "miserable" is never a word that I use when describing a trip to Disney World ever again!
My 1 year surgiversary is less than a month away - September 14th. Today, I weigh 232.2 lbs. My goal is to weigh 225 lbs on my surgiversary. BUT, most importantly, my goal is to be out of the hole of depression and back on the road to a healthy, vibrant, and FANTASTIC me.
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About Me
IA
Location
40.4
BMI
Surgery
09/14/2009
Surgery Date
Jun 05, 2008
Member Since
