kier

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When someone bugs us, they usually have some aspect that we dislike in ourselves.  Figure out what this, forgive yourself, and then she won't bug you any more-it really works.  You can't fix her, so it's a waste of energy to try.


The world becomes so much more promising when you decide to have it ALL. 
It starts with making healthier decisions that are entirely selfish. 
- Anita Brookner  (author)

sorry got a bad potty mouth! But holy fucking shit why is Ursodiol so damn much money? I mean really can anybody tell me why one perscription has to cost so much?  I bet in England or Canada or Mexico even that shit is so much cheaper.........no scratch that in England or Canada that shit is probably free to patients, ok maybe not free,  but close to it.     Not having insurance is BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!    but i don't want to wait to have the surgery till hubby gets in the ILWU union so I guess that's why i'm going ahead and paying for it now.   Ok i'll shut up. LOL!  just had to rant to myself. 

4/15/08
I am going to my first meeting with my Program Director (i think that is her title) or Nurse .  We are to discuss nutrition, excercise and surgery procedures and goals.  I hope it goes well, I'd hate to have to switch it up again.  This should be interesting......I'll add more to this later. 

4/12/08

So I have decided to have the RNY after much much many many hours of research and fretting between RNY and DS.  I know DS has so many positive aspects too, I just feel the RNY will suit me better as far as using this surgery as a tool to retrain ( yes retrain, cause i've done it before but it's so damn hard keeping off that damn weight)  myself how to eat and maintain a low-GI diet  and too help me to keep my bad carb intake under wraps.   If I never learn how to eat high protein low carb in a healthy, realistic way, my insulin resistance and pcos will always be looming over my head and I never want to live the way I am right now again after surgery.  These pcos symptoms are no joke and I'm fucking OVER IT!!!!!!   I must rid myself of them for life, not just a year or two or three but forever!  I have to work hard to fight my bodies carb addiction.  Geezz I hope I can do it.   I have to do it for my future.  I'd like to have babies one day.......that might be cool. lol  dang I sound so serious on this site.....i'm usually a total ham I swear.....but I am at my witts end with all of this.     BRING ON THE HEALTHY KIERSTEN!!!!!

 I chose Coastal Obesity's Dr. Owens to perform the surgery.  I know I know after all i went through before?  Well yes!  They helped me through some very hard times and worked with me to no end to make sure I was happy and getting what I wanted out of their program.  I will be going to a different hospital for a different program (same surgeon)...about 45 mins away from home, but with a much better program for my needs.  

Ok so my surgery date is 4/28/08 WOW!!!  I am pretty excited  and I'm not freaking out half as bad as I did when I got my first surgery date. lol.   And oh yes, I freaked out hardcore the first time!  

4/02/08

So as of today I am no longer having the RNY on friday.  I have decided to go else where for care.  I have no ill will towards him or anyone at his office, I just feel I was being rushed but not all because of them.  I feel I rushed the whole process as well, meaning I should have been more prepared and demanded more time.  I do wish there program offered a nutritionist with classes, that is a big thing for me.  I know going into this that I have some very very wrong eating habits and I wish to address them, learn about them, and correct them before I have this HUGE life changing operation.  Going into a operation like this blindly is not a smart move and that's what I feel like I was about to do.........and I was freaking out about it.  and furthermore they were going to let me do it too.  So I'm glad I made the  decision I did and I'm moving forward trying to find the right doctor for me.