Krayzsexykool
Well, where do I start... I guess at the beginning... I didn't grow up as a big girl. The only big thing I had was hips and butt. I think I could've given Beyonce a run for her money... I was bulimic from age 9-15. At age 16 or 17, Dexatrim & SlimFast became my friends. This ended when I was marching in a Mardi Gras parade and fell in some horse poop. Not sexy... But it didn't stop. It took me passing out at the Riverwalk in New Orleans and almost falling into the Mississippi while marching. All this - and had I known muscle weighed more than fat... and if I could have lost the hips and rear...
Fast forward to college... INDEPENDENCE!! My parents didn't really allow me to eat fast food. When I started working@ Wendy's in high school, mom was upset. I loved fried and I was surrounded. Mom always said "A moment on the lips, forever on the hips". I'm not trying to hear all that. I can't get fat - it's not going to happen... well since I was away from the fam, I fell in love with McDonald's and courted ole boy regularly... I'd cheat on Ron and holla at Mr. King... and even went crazy w/ a girl crush on Ms. Wendy. Also partied my butt off- booze!!!
Gone was band and the activeness that came with it. I became very sedentary - so not me - I stopped fidgeting (I was the kind that couldn't keep still for love nor money)... I figured LSU is a big campus, walking will be OK.
I gained the full freshman 15 by the end of my 1st sophmore semester. (Guys back home loved it, b/c it balanced my butt out - whatever, man!!!). OK. cool... I was a 12 at the bottom, a 7/8 up top. I'm not tripping... this was 1993- that fall. By summer of 94, I was a 12/14. I dressed like TLC... my jeans got smaller (they were bought 2-3 sizes too big and in mens - hips and butt). Damn, must be the industrial gas dryers shrinking them suckers...
By 1995 and age 20.5, I jumped, but I still didn't trip - at least not too much- ok some... By that Easter, I was a 16 (I know my sizes. most weights and when I was what). I was 165 lbs - I started college at 132-135lbs in the fall of 1992.
Fall 96, I was 180lbs and a size 18 at bottom, 14/16 at top. Still a lil flat in the tummy... I still wasn't tripping too hard.
I graduated in the summer of 98 - I was 224lbs and a size 22. I didn't trip - I realized all along I just resigned to the fact that I was fat. Thick was passed up 50lbs ago... Then I started tripping... Metabolife. Made me feel I was gonna die, but I was losing weight...
In 2000, I got diagnosed w/ Fibromyalgia. I was on steriods for 10-12 months. Plus Depo Prevera. In August of 2001, I weighed my heaviest - 296lbs.. 4 lbs shy of 300. Damn. Now I'm tripping. I 86'ed both meds, moved to Atlanta, dropped 60lbs like that - doing nothing. All I did was climb steep stairs to the apartment of a friend I was living with. No money to eat fast food on a consistent basis... I think I gained and was at like 250lbs for a spell...
In 2002, I got on Zenical. It worked - I lost 25lbs in 6 months. But I changed jobs and my new insurance didn't cover it... So I gained that back and then some... I lost weight doing just portion control - got to 238lbs in 2003.
2004, I had a breast reduction, started working out in 2005 at Curves. I had gotten back to 250+ lbs (my dad died 8/13/04, so for the 1st time, I stress ate). I think I lost 10-15lbs. But going to school for my 1st Masters and working FT took a toll... something had to give. Then 8/29/05, Katrina decimates my hometown. I'm now in school for Masters #2, working FT... mom and sis move in, I stopped cooking, ate fast food... gained.
September 2007 - I went to Barbados, got disgusted with the pics. I think I was up to a size 24/26 and 293lbs. I cut fast food out (once in awhile I'd allow myself a happy meal) and switched from Cokes to Coke Zeros - I lost 11lbs just doing that in 3 mths.
Fast forward to January 2008, I joined Weight Watchers at 282.6lbs. I lost 23, never got to my 10%. I got down to 259.6. Stayed there. Had a flare up with my fibromyalgia... as of early March, according to my doc, I was 264 lbs. I know I've gained, I don't own a scale...
So this is where I am. I had the mindset of well, I don't have obesity related health problems. My pressure is usually 115/70, blood sugar, cholestrol both textbook. But I guess I was fooling myself. I can't breathe - I talk fast as it is and get winded in conversation at times. I had the lovely idea of buying a two story home. When I go upstairs, I know my heart is like this b*@%$ is crazy - she's killing me... my knee bugs me, I have tiny ankles. I'll wear heels, but can't keep them on. I've gotta shave my face and chest... acid reflux... irritable bowel... depression (though the last 2 are in conjunction with my fibro).
Star Jones on Oprah last week REALLY opened my eyes... I do have health issues... albeit not the big ones...
So here I am about to start the journey... I'm scared. I'm a picky eater. Veggies don't enter my mouth - haven't since age 4 or 5. I haven't met a white potato I didn't love. Spaghetti & meatballs - ooohhh... (but at least I cut down on mac and cheese - the lactose intolerance can't handle it like it used to).
Wish me luck, pray for me...
