Question I had as a pre-op

Nov 08, 2009

I wondered before surgery and see pre-ops looking into the DS ask a lot, "i love sweets, how will I not binge myself into a mind-numbing quivering mass of frosting and cake post-op?"

Well - I can only speak for me and we're all different but here is my experience:

white flour and sugar together with any kind of fat is the devil.  The DEVIL I say!

So - here's how I eat normally:

two shakes a day, protein first, complex carbs, I don't count anything except I stay on top of my vits and water

If I want a cookie I make cookies with no white flour in them (typically almond meal or oatbran).  I eat real sugar, no substitutes but only as a little treat.  If I'm majorly craving sweets I have a shake first and it typically goes away.

Sweets, it seems, are way better in my mind anyway. 

Now - I'm sorta' known for loving cake.  I'll eat the frosting off of the cake of every person in the room.  I. Love. Cake.

But here's the difference now:  I don't have to have it.  Sometimes I want it but pre-op that urge would drive me to the store to buy an entire cake and enjoy it over a week.  Now?  I just have a shake and I'm good.

So, I haven't had cake since my surgery.  I didn't have any on my birthday/wedding anniversary.  When I hit 50lbs I thought "I'm going to have cake".  I didn't.....'cause I wanted it to be perfect and oh so good. 

For my BF's birthday we were in the city at Magnolia and they are known for their cupcakes.  Eh, didn't seem intrigued.  Then I saw a chocolate cake.  I thought 'this is it, I'll get a slice'.  I ordered a slice and they gave me two (one was 'too small' to serve to they just gave it to me).  I got home, had my dinner (Brok's pizza) and then thought 'ok, time for cake'. 

I had a bite.  It was good.  It was really good, actually - but it didn't fill a need like it did pre-op.  I didn't have that instant rush of 'oh my god this is amazing and I need to eat it all'.  I wanted that feeling but it didn't come.  My body just wasn't that interested.  I had about four small bites and then put it away.

Then I felt like shit.  Horrible.  Bloated and stomach pain and just ugh!  White flour is not my friend. 

Then the diarrhea started and has lasted most of the night and day.

Now, I dunno if this will last but I sure hope it does.  Why?  Because it's nice to not really want cake.  It feels like I won somehow.  Because seriously - never again.  Just not worth feeling like that.  Not at all.

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