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pjs-thoughts-info.blogspot.com/

I have a blog - but its not on the OH site - HERE - is the link to it... enjoy

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Odd Points Current mood: content I have been doing a lot (and I mean A LOT) of reading on Forums, and WLS folks' blogs. Just to get perspectve about what I'm choosing to do to my body.  This is something I found reading one of those... I changed a couple words to match it better to me, but the main point is still there... Worst things about being fat I always thought one of the worst things about being fat was that other people knew my "issue" I mean most people have "issues" but they don't surface till you get to know a person... mine were right there on my backside, on my stomach... 100+ pounds of issues. They knew I was out of control and every other good thing in my life was negated because of that. Other things that sucked about being fat: ~Having to take medications (high blood pressure, acid reflux, etc.) my 86 year old mother in law isn't even taking. ~Having to drive around for "diva parking" because walking across the parking lot was tiring. ~Looking in a full length mirror. ~When people you were with asked for a booth and you weren't sure you could fit. ~Going to concerts or movies and not being able to fit into the seats. ~Being hot all the time. ~Narrow aisles in stores (especially antique stores many times my butt almost took out a breakable or two) ~Weighing at the Dr. office and seeing them move that little metal weight over one more notch. ~Being limited to three clothing stores. ~Not getting much play anymore ;) ~People analyzing what you order at restaurants. Forget going into an ice cream shop. ~Airplane bathrooms. Enough said. ~Tray tables on planes and sitting in the middle seat. ~People always saying, "You have such a pretty face." ~Walking by a group of teenagers and hoping they didn't make comments. ~Having pictures taken. ~Ordering things like special shirts for an event or bridesmaid dresses. ~Those desks with attached chairs at University. ~Not fitting on roller coasters and amusement rides. ~Getting into contortions to paint my toes. ~Not being able to tie a bow on my shoes in the middle, always on the side. ~Worrying when I heard a creak in a chair. ~Backseat seat belts, or any seat belts for that matter. ~Packing a small getaway bag is impossible. 2 garments took up the whole bag. ~Summer clothing (sleeveless, short, revealing, definitely not fat-friendly) ~Never getting a piggy back ride or being swept off my feet. I'm sure there are many more and it's been therapeutic making this list so as I think of more I'll add to it. I never want to forget. Well that is it... and it just about says it all as to reasons to have this surgery.  Except for the health (ok they mentioned pills) side with is one of the MAIN reasons for me.  (and DH)  We want to be able to grow old together, and for that to take a LONG time.  If we continue the way we are now - we are looking at 10-15 years.  With multiple health problems along the way. On another front... for Christmas a gift that was gotten for the family was a Scrabble board.  DD loves the game, I kinda like it.  DH doesn't (but he played tonight - Thank you!!) and MIL 'never played this before'.  So we sat down after dinner and played a game.  MIL at the start was trying words that were so far out there, they made absolutely no sense.  Towards the end though, she got some words on her own!!  Woo Hoo!  That was really good to see.  She still doesn't know who the 'men' are around here, and that 'lady' that fixed me breakfast (when she even remembers she had breakfast).  Yet other times (getting on the rare side though) she comes up with things that are spot on!  She is starting to have trouble with words.  Remembering what she was saying or the name of objects.  I have found if we ask what the 'it' does or what is 'it' for, we can figure out what she is trying to get at.  Well most of the time anyway - LOL!  Just like the thing she said tonight after the game - "that's what happens when you get old, it's just like being young"  Yeah - you make sense of that one :^)

Well Christmas went well... had folks over. We supplied the turkey. Cooked it for 1 hour in the smoker and then finished up in the oven. It turned out so tasty and when I went to put it on the platter, it fell in half. Hows that for tender!! I haven't had the surgery yet, but tried to keep my portions down and eat slowly - chewing and chewing - no drinking with the meal... You know what?? I really think that is helping. I weighed today and my new low (this time) is 283... Yeah about 10 yrs ago I did Atkins and got down to 260, but right back up. My highest was 320... so not bad right now. Its still in a downward slant. Its hard though. I know I don't really have a limit on my eating. All that is holding me back is will power, and I loose sometimes. I think the protein shakes help too... sigh... I can't wait for the surgery, but then I'm nervous about it too... Hubby mentioned while talking about this with a good friend of ours. He is conserned that he is 'mutilating' his body. Well yeah in a way we will be, but its so that we can be healthier, and live better longer. Right now the way we are going we have maybe 10-15 years... I want to be with him alot longer than that! Anyway... I'm proud of how I did over Christmas. Now comes New Years!!

Well at least for me. I do blog daily (weekly) stuff that is happening in my life over on MySpace, but this one I will only (or try anyway) to post about my eating and weight loss 'stuff'.  Well where to begin - LOL - lets start about 25 years ago, no make that 36 years ago.  My dad was heavy, felt the 'family' was heavy (me) and so he/we joined Weight Watchers.  He did great, I gained.  I would go to the 5 and dime and get candy bars.  I did ok during JHS and HS.  I mean I wasn't a skinny minny, I was about 160? I was 180 when I got pregnate (I had already gained just being married - had to 'cook' for my husband don't ya' know).  When I was pregnate that gave me license to 'eat for two' and that is just what I did... I gained 100#!!  I can't blame it on her (my daughter) anymore, that was 24 years ago.  Since then there was Jenny Craig, Atkins, Phen/Fen - you name it!!  My heaviest was 320#, but my average is 310#.  Now my husband has really enjoyed my cooking and his top weight has been about 460#, but averaging about 420#.  My daughter is also a 'big' girl at about 380#, unfortunately she doesn't have insurance and I don't think her head is in the right place to have surgery done.  She hasn't really tried to many other avenues yet.

Now about 5 years ago both hubby and I were seriously looking into getting the bypass done.  We belonged to Kaiser at the time - enough said about them and that experience!  So now with new insurance and additional co-morbidities under our belt (DM & HTN for both and PE, RAF for Hubby) we decided to give it another try.  We went to an open seminar and got to 'meet' the surgeon that is a 'prefered provider' for our insurance and liked her forthrightness right away.  We were going to jump right on this band wagon but a 'thing' on my lung put a speed bump in the way.  That 'thing' turned out to be an abscess (Thank you God!!) so with ABX it went away. Now we have done our official meet and greet with the surgeon (Dr. L. Machado) and have seen the dietician and will be seeing the Psycologist in January.  Hubby will (at least I believe so) be getting a filter put in before his surgery, because of his history of PE.  I will be done first and then Hubby.  What is great is that we are on this journey together!  It is a total change in lifestyle and view on food.  I don't think we could do it as well if only one of us did it.  Maybe with us loosing and eating and being healthy it might just encourage my daughter in doing the same. 

This journey is a bit on the scary side, but also on the exciting side!  I know that the surgery is JUST a tool.  The hard work comes from us.  I have been reading forums and other sources of information. I have been channeling that to my husband to the point he gets tired of hearing about it.  I want him to be as excited about this and as knowledgable about this as he can be.  I feel that without that knowledge the road will be even harder than it has to be.  He will get to see me go first, but still. 

Well this is long enough for a first blog.  I'm sure I will post more to come.  I have enjoyed the forum on bariatriceating.com and haven't checked this one out yet.  This one is local people though - that might be interesting.  Well I will see you out there...