LaurieKM

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am looking forward to a family picnic that's coming up next weekend.  Much of my family hasn't seen me in months and I'm excited for everyone to see the "new" me.  I'm thinking the last time I saw most of my family was around Christmas and I've probably lost another 60-70 lbs since then!  Well, we'll see what happens.  No matter if anyone notices the changes or not, I know how GREAT I feel and how much healthier I am and that's all that matters. 

DeeDee, if you're reading this, thanks for putting together the picnic.  We are all really looking forward to it!  Love you.

I was on vacation the week before last with my three kids and had a couple of WOW moments I wanted to record for posterity (mainly so that, when I start feeling down and forgetting that I have lost 120+ lbs, I can have a reminder of how far I've come).  Anyway, I knew that the kids were going to want to go on go-cart rides near where we were staying on vacation.  I also knew that, in the past, there was no way I would even have attempted to ride them, since my BUTT was WAY too big!  This year, though, two of my kids were big enough to drive themselves but one of my daughters didn't meet the height requirement.  The only way she could ride was to go with an adult. Since I was the only adult, she asked if I would drive for her.  I did it!  My butt fit in the seat of that go-cart with no problem at all!  It was SUCH a fun experience for my daughter and I to be zooming around that track with my other two kids trailing behind us!

But the even bigger WOW that week was our visit to the Polar Caves.  There is a park with a series of glacial caves that you can climb through.  I had been there once before -- many many years ago -- but had declined to even attempt climbing and crawling through the caves, knowing that with my size I might actually get STUCK.  This time, though, I had decided in advance that I was going to just try it and see what happened.  Not only was I able to navigate all the caves that the 3 kids explored but I was able to climb the 82 steps up to one of the caves with more energy than the kids had!  It was such a great feeling, particularly because I can remember that on my last trip there (when I was, yes, at least 10 years younger than I am now) I was so out of breath that not only did I not go through the caves, I wasn't sure I was even going to survive the trek around the outside of the caves.  I will admit that, on this visit, I still had my doubts about whether I would fit because I still see myself as that 320+ lb person.  I have a difficult time looking at a space and determining whether I will fit through it or not.  But then it occurred to me that my son (who turned 13 on vacation) is now 1/4 inch taller than me and only weighs about 20 lbs less than I do.  I had to keep telling myself that, if he could fit through those narrow caves, so could I!  And I was right! 

It was really great to see how much more fun the kids were having because I was doing all of their activities right beside them.  That is precisely why I wanted to have the surgery in the first place so it was a really special time with them.  Problem is now, I have to decide what my next adventure will be.  Any suggestions?

Well, I finally got around to joining a gym.  Before the holidays, I made an appointment at the Fitness Center at my work.  On 1/4 I met with the trainer there who showed me around, explained how to use certain machines and then designed an exercise program for me.  Since then I have gone twice, last Friday and then again yesterday.  It feels so great to be back to a gym.  I know this sounds crazy but I really missed it, especially the treadmill.  I feel so much better, physically and mentally, when I am working out.  The only issue is going to be finding the time to go.  It'll be easier on the weeks when the kids are with their father for the weekend, because I can go on Friday afternoon and not have to rush home.  Weeks like this week, though, when the kids are with me on the weekend and I have a doctor's appointment in the morning, are going to be more difficult.  As long as I make it a priority, though, I will manage somehow.  That's it for today -- more later.  Oh, wait, one more thing.  I finally broke the 250 barrier.  I was 249.5 this morning!  Woo Hoo!!  I haven't been under 250 since before I got pregnant with the girls in 1998! 

I had about given up the past couple of weeks because it seemed the scale just wasn't moving.  Everyone has told me they can tell I'm still losing but my measure -- the scale -- wasn't reflecting that.  But this morning, on a whim and expecting more disappointment, I stepped on the scale and it had moved a full 4 lbs!  I know it doesn't seem like much but I think it was the little kick in the butt I needed to lift my spirits and help me refocus.  Anyway, I had set a goal for myself to hit 250 by Christmas and I had almost given up on it, thinking there was no chance.  Now, however, I have renewed faith that if I just keep focused I can do it.  So, I have 13 days to lose 11 lbs.  We'll see what happens.  I can't MAKE the scale move, I can only make myself move -- as in exercise -- eat properly and take my vitamins, calcium and B-12.  The rest is up to God.  So, stay tuned and I will keep you updated on my progress. 

I haven't posted much lately because it seems nothing has been happening.  I lost so quickly in the first 3 weeks or so and now it seems to have come to a complete stop.  I'm not sure why it is happening but honestly it is scaring the CRAP out of me.  All I can think of is that if I did all this to lose just 30 lbs. post op, I am going to scream.  Anyway, I did have a bit of a wow moment.  I brought my daughter to her dance lesson last week and they have those awful plastic patio chairs in the waiting area.  I hate to sit in them because my butt always gets stuck and I'm afraid I'm going to stand up and the chair will be hanging off my ass!  This time, we were a little early so I sat down in one of those awful chairs and I actually had some room to spare!  That was a nice feeling.  I guess I'll hold onto that until I start losing again and feel as if I have something to show for my hard work!

Great news!  I just re-calculated my BMI and I am no longer super morbidly obese, as I was at the beginning of this process.  I am now only Extremely Obese. lol  My first goal will be to get down to merely "Obese".  I'd love to be Normal at some point, but I'm not going to push it.  Baby steps, one goal at a time!

Oh, and I attended my first support group meeting as a post op last night.  I felt really great.  Two women actually approached me after the meeting and asked me questions about what it was like, how the process went, etc.  It was really nice to be able to be helpful to someone else, even if I only had the benefit of pre op experience and 17 days post op!

Well, i'm 17 days post-op and I feel great!  I'm hoping to attend my first support group meeting tonight as a POST OP and I'm very excited about it.  I have lost over 20 lbs so far (22 at last weigh in).  I have not yet had my post op visits with the nutritionist or the surgeon so officially I am still on strictly liquids.  However, I must confess that over the weekend we were out for entire days and I did eat some grilled chicken breast at Friendly's.  Funny thing, though, I gave away the garlic bread, rice and veggies and brought home about 80% of the chicken.  I cut it into small servings and froze most of it, leaving out just enough to finish for another meal over the weekend.  I was very nervous about how my body would react to my return to real food but so far everything seems ok.  I didn't feel ill and every thing seemed to be working from a digestive perspective.  I'm not going to push it any more, however.  Today I'm back on the protein shakes and creamed soups.  I am going to do what I'm told and keep to liquids until I see Liz and Dr. A this Friday.  I have been cooking quite a bit, despite the fact that I can't really eat anything.  I'm trying hard to give the kids a sense of normalcy, despite the fact that I can't acually eat with them.  I'm also trying hard to avoid any take out or fast food, both for their sake and mine. Anyway, just wanted to provde an update.  I'll write more after my visits on Friday.