Leah R.

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It's been a long while since writing on here, and my life has been a roller coaster ride of emotions this past year....So what I thought was just plain regular old depression for the last 20 plus years was recently upgraded to Bipolar NOS (not otherwise specified). I'm still trying to figure out what the heck that means.....My new primary care physician who also happens to be a psychiatrist, (but I don't see him for that), is great. He is the one who got me off the "wrong" medications I was taking for years and which hadn't been working for what I thought had was regular depression. Amazingly enough my insomnia went away after 2 years of not sleeping through the night. Soon after changing medications I was overcome with a flood of good and bad emotions that had been suppressed by the medications I was on before and now no longer taking..... WOW! emotions are hard to deal with after not dealing with them for so many years, but thanks to my therapist I'm learning to deal with them.......................Now for the Bipolar crap and getting the right meds and level and how to filter my emotions, what comes out of my mouth, and not have it effect my relations at home and at work, this is a challenge and it's not going so great.....I have lots to work on and I hope I can do this and not lose it all.....

Well, where do I begin. First off I'm typically an introvert and don't reach out much to friends or family unless I'm desperate. On top of that I procrastinate on acknowledging that I'm desparate most of the time. ........................Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I feel myself becoming more isolated about my WLS. I am beginning to feel like I am failing (my weight has been the same for 3 months now). I have no WLS support groups in my community and I think the closest support group is at least a 4 hour drive (one way) and in another state. My surgeon is seven hours away and I just saw him a few weeks back. He said to up my iron, B-1 and other than that "everything looks good see you in a year." .....................  A year seems like a long time to not discuss my WLS w/ a human being face to face who knows what I'm going through and I don't have to explain my pouch, what I can and can't eat etc etc............The only understanding support I get is from OH and like I said, I tend not to reach out. I'm not good at being a friend in person let alone online. For the most part I lurk in a few rooms. I do post a little, but nothing much................... I guess this is my reach out blog and I'm not even posting it in the forums because then to many people would see it ................

I got the job............yeah I'm so excited. After 14 + years I'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks.

I'm so excited and nervous all at once. I have an interview scheduled for 2/2/07 with the County Health Dept. as a Bi-lingual Community Health Outreach Worker........Kinda different, kinda the same. It's still helping the community just in a different capacity.

After 14 years working for Head Start I'm ready for a change. I've held just about every position there is including my current position as Interim Director. It's just not fun anymore. There are too many regulations and rules to be followed. The core of the preschool program doesn't seem to really matter to the funders in Washington DC. :(

I went back to work last Tuesday after 6 weeks off. The following day was the company x-mas party. I had people coming up to me left and right telling me how great I looked and how glad they were that I was back at work. I've felt really good about myself since then.........thanks guys