Leslie B.

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It's been 5 years since my surgery.  I can't believe how fast the time has gone.  Looking back, the decision to have surgery was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.  My confidence has blossomed.  That new found confidence has allowed me to make great strides in my career and my personal life.  If I could change anything, it would be the agony I put myself through in making the decision.  It can't be made lightly, but I didn't need to spend so much time worrying about what everyone else would think.

Gastric by-pass hasn't allowed me to eat anything and not gain weight.  It's actually really restricted my diet, I have reactive hypoglycemia.  So, if I eat anything with too many carbs (15g or more) I get really sick.  I remember the doctor telling me that happens to about 10% of people and thinking that won't be me.  Well, it was, but I am fine with that.  A doughnut makes me sick now, but that's ok, I proved I couldn't eat doughnuts responsibly, so I can live with it.  I am actually grateful for the carb intolerance.  I fear that I would gain a lot of weight back if I could eat all those sugary gooey things.

I still have to manage my weight. Right now I am trying to loose 10 pounds I have gained in the past year after I got married.  The smaller stomach makes it much easier to eat responsibly.  I can be satisfied with a small meal.  I just have to quit eating all day at my desk & a couple of other bad habits I've fallen into.

If you are reading this because you are considering surgery, I wish you luck.  It's a great journey.  The best info I got from someone before I had the surgery was this:  "The couple of days after the surgery are difficult.  I sat on my stairs crying thinking I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  But, it was the best decision of my life.  I would go through those days again in a heart beat to get the new life I have now."  Those words helped me get through the first week or two.  There's lots of other great advice, but that's the thing that stuck with me.

Blessings.

I gave up trying to give myself a shot.  I am just not good at it.  I sat in my bathroom hyperventalating and decided it wasn't worth it.  I now am making nurse only appointments at my clinic to get my shots.  It's been good for me.  The nurses have been so supportive when I go in for my shot.  One even asked if she could weigh me just to see how much weight I had lost!  Maybe someday I will get tired of poping into the clinic every month for a shot, but for now, it's working just fine.

I can't believe I haven't posted for 2 months.  I've been so busy lately.  I am feeling great!  I have started walking lots of miles for the training for the Komen 3-day.  I was having trouble with my knee, so I joined LifeTime and have been lifting weights and walking on the treadmill.  It feels so good.  I am amazed.  I tried to get back into a workout routine for years, but I never could get myself to do it.  Now, I love going again.  The surgery gave me the motivation, now that I have started loosing weight, I want to do whatever I can to help keep the weight coming off.  I've got that wedding in October.  I ordered the brides maid dress in a size 12 - I was wearing a 16 when I bought it.  I am hoping that by the time the wedding comes around, that I will still have to have the dress taken in.  I am wearing size 14 jeans right now!!!

I"m trying to watch the girl with the dragon tatoo right now, it's pretty hard to type and read subtitles.  I'll write more soon.

It is so amazing.  40 pounds in just over 2 months.  I am so happy.  I am back to a weight that I weighed for many years.  When I weighted 194 before, I used phentermine to loose weight.  I eventually got down to my goal weight of 140, but I always felt like it was a lie and I worried about what would happen when I quit taking the medication.  I was right.  Eventually the medication quit working, and when I quit taking it, I gained all my weight back and then more.  I was also a smoker, I was also afraid that when I quit smoking I would gain weight & I was right.  When I finally had surgery, I weighed more than I had ever weighed before.  

Now, I am phentermine free, smoke free, and even cafienne free.  I am learning to eat better and I am walking miles a week.  It feels so good. I am glad I made this decision.  I can't wait to loose the next 40 pounds!!

I had to give myself my first B12 shot at home the other night.  I am such a baby about needles.  At the Doctor's office it took me 20 minutes to do it.  Here at home it only took me 15 minutes of staring back and forth between the needle and my stomach before I finally got the courage to do it.  If I had to do it more often than once a month, I would probably get better at it, but once a month is just long enough for me to forget and be completely afraid again.  Utimately is cheaper and easier than doing sub-lingual b12, so I am going to keep trying.  Maybe next month I will be able to do it in 10 minutes!!

I did it!  I weigh 199!  I can't remember that last time I weighed less than 200.

Happy Friday!!!!

I've decided to commit to doing the 3 day in August.  It's walking 60 miles over 3 days and camping out with other walkers.  I am passionate about the cause, and I thought this would be great motivation to get out there and start moving.  I have a lot of training to do to be ready to walk 60 miles in 3 days!  I am hoping it will help me get to my goal weight by the time the walk comes around.  What a win-win!!  Please donate to help me raise money for this cause.  The minimum to participate is $2300, so any amount helps! Click here to view my persoal page, or click below to make a donation.

Things have been going well.   I have been really tired though.  At first I thought it was still from the anesthesia or from getting used to being back at work.  Now I am starting to think that it's part of the surgery - at least this stage of it.  I have always been a night owl, not going to bed before 11:00 pm even when I have to get up at 5:30 am.  But since I've gone back to work I have been going to bed at 9:00, if not earlier!

I've been doing really well at following the doctor's instructions & haven't had any trouble with vomiting.  But in the last week, I have been starting to push the limits a bit.  I forget to eat slowly and eat too much, and before I know it I am uncomfortably full.  It takes about 3 bites when I "forget" and resort back to old eating habits.  I am having to make more of a consious decision to eat the right way.  It's good though.  I know I will have to continue making these decisions as time goes on, so they have to start someitme.

Time to get back to the real reason I am up past 9:00 - The Buter vs Duke NCAA Championship.  Go Butler!!!

I went back to work on the 15th.  I was feeling good and thought I had actually had too much time off, until about noon.  All of a sudden I didn't feel so well anymore.  Tuesday was even harder,  The nausea returned with a vengeance.  Thankfully I had some anti-nausea left from my trip to the ER, so I took it on Wed and I felt much better.  

I had my post-op appointment on Thursday. Everything is going well.  I have to work a little harder on my fluid intake, but otherwise things are going well.  I didn't realize that I could start eating meat again, so that has made the variety in my diet much better.  Thank goodness.  Fish and chicken sure help with the protein intake.  

The most interesting number they gave me was that I had lost 23% of my excess weight already.  I guess for me that is pretty easy to calculate because I have right around 100 lbs to lose.  But I like thinking of it that way.  I've already lost almost 1/4 of what I need to lose to get to goal.  Even though right now only a couple of people have said they could tell I've lost weight, and I'm not really into any of my "smaller" clothes yet, it puts things into perspective.  Hearing 23% helped me realize what real progress has already been made.

But my absolute favorite part of the appointment has to be when I learned to give myself my B12 injection!  Hilarious.  I was the kid that needed 3 nurses to hold me down when they gave me my kindergarten shots.  I was actually kicking the nurses.  So, I felt the need to warn my nurse, Judy, who was just sitting there expecting me to give myself a shot.  She was great. Her response to my story was simply, "that's ok, you'll do it."  She was very patient.  I sat there staring back and forth between the needle and my stomach for about 15 minutes.  I was starting to sweat.  When I finally did it, my exact words were "gees, that didn't even hurt!"  I walked out feeling like I could do it again without any trouble.  But I can see a potential problem, once a month seems to be enough time to loose that confidence, and end up staring at the dang needle for 15 minutes again.  I know SL B12 is an option, but the injections are only once a month and cheaper, so I'm going to give it a try for a while and see how it goes.

That's all for now - oh, I need to post some pictures.  I will try to do that in the next week or so.

I am a little frustrated.  I have been hovering between 214 and 216 for about a week.  I would think I would be loosing weight right now.  I am only 2 weeks out.  It's strange.  Yesterday I ate yogurt for breakfast, 1/2 a cup of pureed vegetable beef soup for lunch and the other 1/2 cup for dinner.  I've been drinking Isopure for protein.  Pre-surgery that wouldn't have even been a meal.  I know that there is nothing wrong with my thyroid etc.  I think I am being a little impatient.