Mona

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I finally made it to the 120s...by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, but 129.5 IS the 120s.  I honestly never thought it would see those numbers on my scale, ever again.  Even after surgery and successful weight loss, I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.  Mind you, I'm 5' 1" so 120 is right in the middle of the normal range for me, but there's just something magical about the number.  For me, at least.  Logically I know it doesn't matter what the scale says, it's how your clothes fit and how healthy you are, but part of me is still in Jr. High School and wants to weigh 120 and wear a size 5.  So let me get my big pink comb out of my back pocket and feather my hair back 'cuz that's what's happening these days.  Too bad I don't have a high school reunion this summer!  Next summer it will be 25 years and assuming they put one together you KNOW I'll be going.  I'm still logging my food and exercising 7 days a week in an attempt to reach my goal.  I'm so tempted to get my tummy tuck and call it good, because I think that would probably remove 10 pounds (believe it or not) but that's not exactly playing fair and plus I think I should get to goal and be there for a little while before considering plastics.  I'm not sure WHY I think I should do that, but I do.  And maybe in the meantime I'll win the lottery or have some sort of unexpected winfall.  Good luck with that, right? 

I finally lost a pound!  It's four days short of a month since that's happened.  I'm sure it didn't have ANYTHING to do with the holidays...all the snacks...and my lack of willpower.  However, in comparison to years past I've done well.  I always thought if I didn't gain during the holidays it was a victory.  So woo-frickin'-hoo.  =D  I decided after Thanksgiving that I would give myself leeway, either on the eating or the exercising, but not both.  I decided I didn't want to fall out of the habit of exercising, and, quite frankly, knew it was unrealistic to expect myself to abstain from all treats, so I think I went a bit overboard with the eating thing and am currently trying to reign it in.  Did great yesterday, protein first, lots of water, logged on thedailyplate.com...then the kids went to bed and I ate an entire bag of microwave popcorn.  Hard to believe it will all fit in there but I am living proof that it will *sigh*.  Anyway, I'm 15 pounds from goal and am going to get as close as I can by my 1 year surgiversary which is 2/16/08.  Wish me luck!

I did this for me and thought others might be interested.  I went back in to fitday, copied the numbers in to Excel and figured out my weight loss month to month.  I'm actually glad I haven't been paying too close attention because it probably would have freaked me out!

Starting weight 211 on 2/16/07

2/07-17 lbs lost

3/07-6

4/07-6

5/07-8

6/07-5.5

7/07-8

8/07-5.5

9/07-6.5

10/07-3

11/07-5.5

12/07-2.5

1/08-4.5

2/08-3.5

3/08-2

4/08-2.5

5/08-5.5

I can't believe I've lost almost 70 pounds.  We're in the middle of the Turkey Jerkey Challenge, so we can't weigh for a couple of weeks.  I'm hoping my strict adherence to the rules of the challenge will pay off.  It sure did last time, I think I dropped 4-5 pounds, which at the point in the game is quite a bit for 2 weeks.  It's not like it used to be where I'd lose weight without trying, but the scale's not going up, either.  A general downward trend is what I'm looking for, and what I'm getting.  I'm 20+ pounds from goal, and now I'm getting the 'you don't need to lose any more weight' from some people.  If I never lost another pound I would still feel like I got my money's worth, but I have come this far and would like to be at what is considered a healthy 'normal' weight for me.  I doubt even if I get to my goal weight that I'll be stick thin or boyish.  I'm kind of curvy so I'm not too worried about it.  I've been surprised, I haven't decreased in bra cup size yet.  I think that is strange as can be, and I'm not thinking that will last forever, but considering that I'm a DD I feel like I could go down some and still fill out my clothes.  Been thrifting a lot and bought a pair of 8s a couple of days ago and they fit, as a matter of fact, they could be a little bit smaller.  I almost always have to have pants shortened so I found a place that does it for $5.  I figure I spend $2-$5 on the jeans themselves, then get them shortened, I've still only got $10 invested.  Last time I got some done they asked me to pick them up in a week, then I was out of town, so it ended up being almost 2 weeks.  By the time I got them, they were too big.  I wore them a couple of times just 'cuz, but that made me kind of mad.  I took a pair today (Friday) and asked them if I could have them Tuesday since I'm going out of town again.  I'm not going to have that happen again!  It's a good problem to have, I really don't mean to complain, I just never thought something like that could or would happen to me.  Still lovin' my VSG!

...and they'll hang themselves.  That's what my Mama always said, and it's the truth, but often times I'm too impatient and want to say something.  Boy, am I glad I didn't.  In my previous posts I mentioned that I was having trouble with a peer.  I say peer because we're on the same level at work (Director), but over different departments.  She was promoted about a year ago or so.  I have aboutt 15 years on her but she decided she needed to get in my business and talk about me behind my back and generally make my time at work problematic.  Well, well, well...I gave her the rope.  She has just gotten ridiculous!  I was taking it personally (as I am want to do, for some damn reason) but then I realized she was up in EVERYONE'S business.  She actually asked a gal who had a death in the family to provide her with a name and town so she could verify the death.  That person quit about a week after the funeral.  She usually opens up the office but was sick one morning and had her husband call me at 6:30am to tell me to be there early to open, which was fine with me but I really didn't think it was her place to 'order' me to do it.  About 45 minutes later I got a call from her boss saying don't bother, I'm going in...and she sounded pissed.  She doesn't like it when people go around her and that's exactly what happened, so the noose tightens.  I had another altercation with her (which is too long and stupid to bother explaining in full) where she involved her boss.  When her boss came to me about it I explained that I thought it had all been taken care of, went through what was said and done, and I could tell her boss was embarrassed she got pulled in to it.  It was the classic example of making a mountain out of a mole hill.  Anyway, I am so glad that the powers that be are seeing her for who she is.  Now that one of her people quit she's having to do all of her work, so I don't anticipate any problems from her for a while.  She'll be too busy doing another person's job, and trying to fill that position.  She got a little bit too big for her britches and got knocked down a few notches.  I'm not counting on this being a long term change but hopefully she'll settle down for a while, and it gives me time to get my head on straight about how to handle her.  I just hate this kind of stuff.  I hate wasting time on people like that, but I guess it's part of the job.  The good news is that my boss is thinking I'm the cat's meow so that's making me feel even more secure.   

I've worked at my job since before I graduated from college, which is almost 20 years ago.  I work for a small company and for the majority of the time I've worked this job I've enjoyed it.  Am I perfect?  No.  Am I damn good?  Yes.  There have been a lot of changes over the years and I've gone with the flow, but there's a person who has been put in charge of one of the departments who thinks she needs to judge and rule me.  She's been around for less than 5 years.  I don't think senority gives you a pass, but I do think it gives you some rights.  She seems to think that she can monitor my activity and discuss it with anyone who will listen.  I've told my boss that I think she's a micro-manager and it's not making her any friends, since I've heard many complaints about her behavior from the field personnel.  He agreed but I don't know if anything was said or done.  I'm starting to get paranoid that I'll lose my job because of this bitch.  I'm not sure what to do about it.

Soooo strange for me to say I really enjoy exercising.  It's a good thing I do because at this point in my journey (7+ months) there is some effort involved, and 'to exercise or not to exercise' means the difference between eating just enough or getting to have a snack.  Oh, and did I mention I weighed 150 this morning? =D  I have been waiting for that day when I weigh under 150 so when I go to the doc the nurse doesn't have to put the bar over to 150+...heck, for a while I was even at 200+.  Of course, the last time I went to the OBGYN he had a digital scale, so I think my little fantasy needs to be updated to the 21st Century, but you get the gist.  It's hard to believe, now, that I had allowed myself to get over 200 pounds at 5'1".  The funny part is that I really didn't see myself as that big.  Now that I'm getting rid of clothes I see just how big I actually was.  There are a few shirts that I'm keeping for sentimental reasons and they are truly tents on me now.  Not that I'm complaining!  I love a big shirt and we all need to have a few in our closet.  Clothes that were 'always too small', you know, those sort of dream outfits, are falling off so I'm getting rid of them.  I wish I'd have kept up with trying stuff on more frequently.  I actually try on all the pants in my closet weekly (or at least try to).  I have had more than one situation where I thought there's no way that will fit and by the time I screwed up the courage to try it on it was too big.  Body image is a funny thing.  I'm now getting rid of my 12s and in to 10s in jeans and pants.  Most of the shirts I get are 8-10, but with shirts I just get what fits around the chest 'cuz the girls haven't gotten a lot smaller, and I'm surprised.  I went and got new bras the other day since the ones I had were on the tightest notch and the straps were pulled as short as possible and it still wasn't working.  Those bras were a 38D.  I got fitted and figured out why I've always hated underwire bras, because I've been wearing too small a cup size all this time.  Now I'm in a 34DD and it feels good to have a bra that actually fits.  Makes the girls look pretty perky, too.  Of course, looks can be deceiving but that's our little secret, right?   I think the majority of my hair loss is over...people always said get Biotin and I was stubborn and didn't want to take yet another pill.  It's probably coincidence, but about the time I started taking Biotin my hair loss slowed and then stopped.  I've heard this from others, too, so go buy a (cheap) bottle of Biotin...you have nothing to lose but hair!  Still using Toppik on the thin spots up top, but some days I don't and it's not so bad that I feel really self-concious (though maybe I should, apparently I have an uncanny ability to deny any shortcomings in the looks department).  Speaking of which, but in a different vein, I have never liked photos of myself.  Never.  So I'm thinking now I will since I've lost weight and like what I see in the mirror.....WRONG.  I still don't.  I don't think I ever will.  I wonder what Freud would have to say about it?  

I used to read the posts of people who were 6 months post-op and think 'wow, they're so experienced and look at all the weight they've lost and I can't wait to be where they are'.  Now I'm that person *I guess* but I still feel the same inside.  Not sure what that musing has to do with ANYthing but it was in my mind, and now it's in my blog.  Don't know why but today I did the math and I've lost 61% of the weight I want to lose and I'm a little over 6 months out.  I'd hoped to be closer to goal but I'm learning as I get older to go with the flow.  I'm doing the right things and (according to Dr. Alvarez) it will come off in it's own time.  I'm looking on this as a marathon, not a sprint, if that makes sense.  Of course, I want to lose more weight but even if I were to stop losing today and maintain at this level I would be further ahead than I was pre-op.  I set a pretty ambitious goal, sort of that best case scenario, where I would be in a perfect world.  It's right in the middle of the normal range...oh, what I would give to be a 'normal' weight.  I think part of the method to my madness in setting the goal was to give myself some leeway.  Honestly, I wouldn't mind ending up at the high end of normal or even the low end of overweight because I'm not sure those charts are appropriate to everyone.  Even at my slimmest I can't get my fingers around my wrist, which I've heard means I have a large(r) frame.  People assume that a person who is around 5 feet tall is automatically small framed.  Not true!  I found one weight chart on the internet that takes in to account both your gender and your age and it gave me a weight range of 130-141.  Right now I'm at 156 so I'm not too far off from that.  I feel better already.  Justification has always been one of my strong suits, as is evidenced by my ability to justify eating fast food between dinner and bedtime, and the thought that I should be able to eat as much at my (almost 6 foot tall) husband and not gain weight.  Ugh!  =D  Anywhoooo, I probably ought to get back to work.  Just wanted to update and celebrate my 6 month surgiversary.

I added one of those timeline tickers to my signature and realized that I'm a week away from my 6 month surgiversary.  Hard to believe!  I've lost 52.5 pounds and my BMI is exactly 10 points lower than when I started (was 39.9, now 29.9).  I guess I can honestly say I'm in my 20's now =D.  I'm wearing a size 12 pants and a large shirt.  Things are going well - pretty much life is back to normal, but better.  We're going out to dinner tonight with another couple.  We've got this down to an art.  We just split something and I talk a lot and nobody ever notices or says a word.  Since I can eat just about anything it's easy to 'blend in'.  I'm enjoying exercising and have finally gotten in to a routine with something I like and think is really making a difference.  I'm glad I had my surgery a few months before summer so I could enjoy the fruits of my weight loss labor during the hottest time of the year.  And it has been a scorcher the past few days!  Yesterday I got out of a workshop early and wasn't expected back to work for 3 hours.  I thought I would take advantage of that fact and do a little shopping.  Well, I stopped by a place and did a return, then stopped by another to pick up something I needed for a project.  We're talking 15 minutes, tops.  I just went back to work because I didn't want to be out in the heat!  It was 109 yesterday, according to the church I pass by on my way home.  You know it's bad when I don't even want to shop.  Speaking of shopping, I have been loving the thrift stores.  I can actually find lots of really cute stuff in my size, now.  There's one in particular where the prices are a little bit higher (most items are $2.98 & up) but I'm almost positive they wash everything and don't put the junk out on the racks.  They see me about once a week!  They go through and mark stuff down to 99 cents if it's there too long, so I've been picking up mediums, 8s & 10s for the future.  Here's something funny I've noticed - my kids are completely oblivious to my weight loss.  They are only 7, 4 & 4, but still, I've lost the equivalent of the 7 year old and none of them have ever said a word.  Also, they don't notice how little I eat.  Just goes to show how completely self-absorbed little kids are.  It doesn't bother me, I'm just surprised.  However, I'm not getting questions like, "How come some Mommys are fat and some aren't?" any more, so I guess it's an improvement from that aspect.