casey N.

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so due to the money crunch we are currently involved in until further notice we will have no more internet, so if i don't resopond to emails don't fret, i will eventually get to you..my mothers house has the internet so i will be able to get on here occasionally...not very often though.. so yeah i will try to get on here again soon..

in better than whats going on in money news...i have offically hit the less than 200 pound mark which i haven't seen in 6 plus years. 198.6 as of this morning, to celebrate i splurged and bought a semi riskay dress from the JR.S (yep thats the little girly section) at wal mart, the ten dollar dress is purely to go to social occasions in..mainly just so i can show off my new bod..come on -87 pounds and not show a little skin? besides it will hopefully last all summer and save us the money on buying clothes all summer, i am gonna do my damnedest to get through the summer with as little money spent on clothes as possible since my surgery i havent spent more than 100 dollars total thanks to family buying stuff from good will and giving me their old clothes and shopping the green tag sale at jc penny and not paying more than 13 dollars for a new outfit every 2 months or so..the only thing is i have no underwear, i did find a gurdle on ebay for 8 bucks, and thats pretty much it, underwear wise all of my bras are too big which is fine because im learning how to go with out  one starting to buy tops with elastic tops that smoosh and hold the girlys in kinda place thats helpful..my hair is falling out hardcore though its way thinner but the one bonus of that is that my hair is naturally curly and before it was so thick my curls didn't show but thanks to the wonders of the hair loss has made my hair actually look better if that is possible. so its not all bad, it just seems that way..i will keep in touch the best i can from now on..

thanks to everyone who offered to help me and my family..it was truely great of you!

and also a pretty crappy mood so please dont pay any attention to the pouty girl behind the keyboard.

we will start with last week. Monday we go out to the middle of bufu to see my hubbys dying grandfather. wenesday we get a text at four am saying that his Uncle died of a heart attack( he was smo or severely morbidly obese) then friday morning his grandpa died as well as my cousins premie son who was two days old. as if this weren't enough on top of all of this we have to 1 buy clothes, 2 pay for gas 3 buy diapers and 4 pay our rent. which would be perfectly fine except we have NO money and i really mean it, i can't even afford to buy groceries and i havent taken a vitamin in months because they are too expensive. most people say go get on state aid, well we apparently make to much money before taxes so we can't qualify for food stamps and or wic. we make about 1800 a month after taxes, my husband is in school and has to drive an hour plus to get there then drives an hour and a half to work and pay tolls, then there is diapers, wipes (which i am actually just going to cut out because i can just use wet rags.) clothing (which we mostly get through relitives because we can't buy it) our half of the rent is 500 dollars, then we have a car payment which is 220, then cable/ internet which is 180, electric which is 150, car insurance 54, phone bill 175, then groceries150 bucks every two weeks, gas which since we have our car currently out of commision due to the fact that it needs new tires and not like the tires are bald, no the tires are flat and we can't pay for those, so we are using my moms gas guzzler which uses about 60 dollars a week ( and thats on the low end) for gas which totals out to be 1819 ish a month, not including other bills we can't actually pay, my doctor bills, being a biggie, my surgeon wont see me unless i pay the bill and well its not like i have 2800 bucks laying around, i can't simply can't afford child care, the only people i can leave my kid with hit him, and it doesnt matter what i say or do it doesnt stop. the one place we could live that we can afford to my mother in law lets her burn out son and his fucked up girlfriend live there and well, seeing as i love my son i can't bring myself to live in a house full of drugs and  fighting. our room mate lost his job so now we have to find a way to come up with 500 more dollars for rent life is fucking peachy. and i am sure god has a plan but  when you can't even count on your family who are supposed to be the people who help no matter what god doesnt seem all to reliable either.  yes i am bitter but more so i am worried about how i can afford to keep doing this. i don't know where to turn, no one can help us, and the people who can wont.

on chicken. I psyically just can't try to eat it anymore, every single time i have eaten chicken it comes back to haunt me! its terrible. it makes me throw up every single time!!! it's ground turkey for me forever, which would be fine but i am running out of recipies. turkey chili, burgers, sorta sloppy joes, meat loaf and meatballs are all i freakin eat!! I can eat and do on occaision Hebrew National 97% fat free hot dogs and those sit fine. but my pouch is a picky monster!!! if you have any good ground turkey recipies send em my way!!

and boy is it as awful as they say it will be. I have a cold, got it from my son so it is bad sore throat coughing yellow/green stuff. i had no voice at all yesterday. last night i asked the hubby to run and grab me some sf popsicles and nyquil. i didn't look at the ingredients on the nyquil because i figured eh its medicine. I took less than a suggested dose because i wasnt sure how it would affect me it defanitly hit me hard because about 10 mins after taking it i was on the couch with my hubby and i was like woah i feel drunk. so i went and changed into my jammies and tried to stay awake longer but couldnt so  i went to bed. I woke up and i dont even know what time it was but i was very sick feeling so i thought id have to throw up, i went to the bathroom and realized that it wasnt gonna be comming out of my mouth and sat on the potty...OH MY GOD it was bad the cramping, i felt chilly like i was gonna throw up and then explode ( its way worse than food poisioning.) i wanted to cry it hurt so bad. needless to say i was trying to figure out what made me dump and looked at the label of the nyquil and there it was on the ingredients list in big bold letters high fructose corn syurp....i could kick myself for such a silly mistake and man did i pay for it. beware of nyquil!!!!

This weekend I went out with a boyfriend (not someone im dating someone who is a boy and a friend) for a girls day and we started out by going to lunch. I am only 7 weeks out (tomorrow) and whilest i have been cleared for anything my pouch ( or commander as i call him) doesnt like many things, we dont do white anything (except of course cheese) only certian meats are tolerated, chicken (but only if its 1 dark meat or 2 chicken salad) shrimp, and tuna ( again in the canned varitiey.) of couse soup is an easy option, but i was eating soup for the last month or so, needless to say im a little souped out. I was overdue for some food and feeling a little dizzy because when i dont eat i get incredibly low blood sugar. any way. I went to a place called Mi Mi's cafe. I had only been there once before and had only eaten corn chowder, which of course i cant eat. i browsed through the menu and didnt really see anything my pouch could have or anything i was in the mood for. So i pulled our server aside and told him about my rny and the 2 ounces that i could eat and i wanted to make them worth eating so i asked if they could make me something that wasnt on the menu. he said of course 7 dollars for half a sammitch that i took 3 bites of. but that isnt really the part that bugged me, there was a table full of what seemed to be a mother and her 4 daughters. as soon as i pulled our server aside their ears perked up and they listened very quietly and attently to every word i told him. then proceded to judge me. I didn't want to get kicked out so i kept my mouth shut. usually i will just say what i want and not care but we were in public and trying to enjoy our afternoon. i suppose this is one of those things that come with the territory and i should get used to it. but how incredibly rude. not only do i get the why doesnt she just go on a diet bullshit that comes from everyone but then i get the she expects to be treated differently because she  is fat bull shit. AHHHHH i could seriously kill people if its not one thing its another. mind you all of these women had huge burgers and washed it all down with jumbo desserts so while there asses are getting bigger mine is steadily shrinking. i suppose knowing the things i know about food now that it is kind of vindicating knowing that i am making better choices. thats all for now.

i had my six week follow up today. Nothing to exciting they had expected me to lose 28 pounds but i lost 36 instead! that was pretty awesome. I am cleared for the gym so my 2 month free membership is gonna start soon! im thirilled about that, it will be me and my mother in law. i have gone from a 28 to a 24 yay!! I have been told that once i start working out it the weight will be falling off. lets hope so. that's really it for now.

It took almost 3 weeks but i finally stalled. I am down about 28 pounds though so I am not to worried. I also saw a post on here about upping protein to help move it along so im gonna try and see if the scale starts moving!! thats really it.

Hiya

I am offically 2 weeks out of surgery and offically down a total of 25.8 pounds from my preliquid diet weight. I start purees next week. It is really nice where i live today so my hubby and i went for a  walk it was 30mins and i barely made it up the stairs when we got home because it was very tireing. I am down a pant size! all of my jammies fall off of me! good news for me, not so good news for the family members i have been mooning. I am having trouble sleeping though, i wonder if it's normal. I am also having weird period issues, i got it a few days after surgery and it lasted 4 days then went away and i thought it was gone for good. suprise! 3 days later flo came back. Im breaking out with acne majorly. that's about it i get almost all of my water and protien in and i havent been dehydrated yet and hope to never go there. good luck and thanks for reading!

YAY and not to mention my staples as well! all gone, i feel craploads better with that thing out of me. So i am sure everyone is wondering about the wl and i lost 9 pounds, go me. i wish it was a little more but when flo showed i knew my scale wouldn't drop as much as i wanted it to. but hey 9 pounds!! that's awesome! I was having a little trouble with water, it gives me a sour feeling in my pouch. I am on full liquids today. so i have had some sf carnation. I went and bought some sf pudding, and a sf torani syrup (raspberry) to put in my plain yogart. I am gonna say though that after a while the carnation doesnt taste very well,so drink it  fast. im gonna find me a ticker or just put my numbers in the tracker they give you here.

peace and axl grease!

I am home!

Everything went better and faster than i had planned. I would like to thank everyone for their prayers and well wishes. So here is a play by play.

920 am , i get to the hospital, go to the pre op room and get ready

9 35 get a suprise visit from my surgeon, he's like 1 and a half hours early. and tells me that everything has been going so well that morning that he moved my surgery up 2 hours. get my iv and blood thinner shot, see my family for a micro second and off to the or.

i remember being told to move to the bed next to me, to take deep breaths from the mask, i wake up and DAMN am i nauseous i felt yucky. i remember asking the nurse if everyone felt like that, she said yes and gave me something through my iv. i remember seeing my hubby and my mom. then going up to my room and seeing them a little more, but mostly i slept , lots of sleeping, also lots of drugs.

apparently i was the fastest surgery my surgeon had ever done, 45 mins in and out. i was very text book. which is good, because that means everything went how it was supposed to.

im still sore, and they weighed me before i left the hospital but i had gained lots of weight from all the fluids there so i was back up by 6 pounds, im trying to aviod the scale currently so wehn i get my tube removed on tuesday i am suprised

thats all for now though

thanks

casey