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I've been really bad about updating, but I learned so much from this site, including learning about the DS itself, that I promised myself I would keep a profile up for those who may be considering surgery.

I had a very easy surgery and recovery.  The first three months were a little tough to eat and drink.  I didn't really feel like eating and when I did eat I'd feel sick for a little while afterwards.  In addition, it was tough to get in all my supplements and prescription medication.  But it was only a "little tough", actually the surgery and recovery were a breeze.  In my fourth month I've been able to eat more and no longer feel sick after I eat.  I still fight to get in all my protein (I take the 42 gram 3 oz. bullet) but I pretty much eat whatever I want.  I don't eat sweets except occasionally, and I don't eat bread.  Sometimes I eat rice because I eat a lot of sushi and sometimes I eat pasta, but in extremely small quantities.  This past month I've added some fruit, not much, and vegetables, like salad.  I do have to be careful though how much stuff other than protein I eat, because I just can't eat that much.  A typical day might include a hard-boiled egg, an oz. of cheddar or mozz cheese, 2 oz. of turkey, a protein drink, a South Beach diet entree, and some almonds.  The leaner the protein - eggs, chicken, tuna, etc. - the harder it is for me to eat in quantity.  If it's fatty, like sausage, I can eat a lot more.

I've lost about 1/2 my weight.  I get scared every morning when I get on the scale that I'm not going to lose all my excess weight because of the scale fluctuations.  However, when I do the math I realize I'm halfway there in 4 months.  And if I were more realistic in my goals, shooting for a 24 or 25 BMI instead of a 21 or 22, I'm a lot farther than halfway.  If I could lose 50 lbs over the next year and keep it off for good, I'd be thin and set for the rest of my life.

I still drink wine (and related spirits) frequently, although I know I'm not supposed to drink that much.  I'd probably lose more weight if I didn't drink anything.  However, I do exercise a little, I'm hoping they cancel each other out :) . I've been walking about 3 or 4 miles a day, and I hope to increase this to jogging and more strenuous aerobics / weights classes at the gym.  I'm fairly athletic and used to run everyday.  I don't want to go back to running everyday, but if I could run 3 miles 3 times a week, swim 2 times a week, and work out with weights 1 or 2 times a week, I'd be happy.

I was really geared up for plastic surgery, but I'm not certain I'll 100%  need it.  My stomach is shrinking - it's never been flat, even at my thinnest.  However, I may just treat myself in the end, get a flat stomach and possibly bigger boobs when all the weight is off.  I have fairly big boobs now, so it's hard to imagine needing / wanting an augmentation, but if I really lost all the weight, I'd be much smaller.  Plus the boob job would give me some lift, I think.

That's all for now.  It's been a very positive experience to date!

One month update.  I've lost 25.5 lbs since the day of surgery and 34.9 lbs since my highest / consultation weight.  I feel much better (from losing the weight), although no one has noticed yet.  However, I was wearing one of my usual outfits at work and put on a pair of pearls and the whole office commented on how good I looked.  Today, I'm going to the gym for the first time since the surgery.  I have been walking a little more this week (a mile here, a mile there) and today I'm going to use the treadmill during my lunch hour.  As I've mentioned before, this operation was a breeze for me.  I've only had a few minor problems:  a fever during one day in the hospital which made me very hot, sweaty, a little crazy and thirsty; some vomiting, but mainly due to a spasm in my esophagus, not because I couldn't tolerate the food; and some discomfiture after eating, like my stomach is having to work a little to digest the food.  Physically, the pain in my abdomen from the surgery lasted only a little over a week.  I stopped taking the pain medicine in less than a week after surgery.  

I'm a little disappointed I didn't lose more weight the first month, but when I saw the doctor on Tuesday he told me I'd be half my size.  Being 1/2 my size (or close to it) is my life-long dream.  I am tall and broad shouldered, athletic and muscular.  When I'm thinner, I'm still considered big.  When I'm fat, it all rests in my stomach, breasts, mid-section.  My dream is to not be big, just tall.  If I'm "1/2 my size" it's almost impossible for me to be big. I'll just be tall.  Yeah!

My next concern and focus is plastic surgery.  I'm already starting to think about when i'm going to have it and how am I going to pay for it.  I think I'll need a tummy tuck, as I mentioned, all my weight is in my stomach.  I don't want to go through this whole process, look great in clothes, and be miserable because of the extra skin.  I know I'm taking it too fast, but it's not uncommon for me to get an idea (WLS), and start executing very, very fast.

I apologize to those of you who have checked in with me on being late in giving this post surgery report.  As previously mentioned, I went on a liquid diet for Saturday and Sunday and had lap-DS surgery with Michel Gagner on Monday, June 25th, 2007.  The hospital, it's administration and support staff, and especially Dr. Gagner's professional team was fantastic.  I did get a chance to speak briefly with the surgeon, prior to the procedure.  However, I had no qualms about it before, especially about him, and no qualms after.  When I heard he was in the hallway looking for me I said to the nurse "Now I'm nervous."  But only because it was getting very real.

I was in NY Presbyterian.  The hospital is very, very good.  I haven't been in many, if not any hospitals, but I know professional and this hospital had it together.  Everyone was very courteous, nice and new what they were doing.  Before I knew it I was getting briefed by the final surgical nurse, placed on the table, and presto - they were waking me up telling me the surgery was over.

My second day with a new nurse sucked!  Different nurse each day and each night seemed to be their standard practice.  All I wanted was to drink something.  I probably wasn't dehydrated, because I was on an IV, but all my body wanted was a glass of water or Gatorade.  Not worth going into, nurse just couldn't stay on the same page with me, everytime I needed something (IV for paid, permission to drink by mouth), she came with something different and had seemed to forget or blame it on someone else that I still didn't have answers regarding when I could drink.  (Carried on for 4 to 6 hours, seemed like forever less than 24 hours past surgery.  Doesn't seem so bad right now.)

Recovery was OK, as soon as I had pain medication.  My mom came to see me afterwards (she wasn't there when I went in, don't ask).  There was a little problem in recovery because my oxygen level was very low, so they couldn't move me to a room until that was high enough and I had to get a tent and then a c-pap, although I don't use the machine at home and haven't yet been fully diagnosed with sleep apnea.  Plus, they didn't have a room for me.

As the stars would have it, the fact the hosptial didn't have a vacant room worked in my favor and I was put into a private room.  The nurse the first night was great.  I was fine except for a little hot temperatured (peri-menopausal, overweight, on medication increasing body temp, last week in June).

Regardless, hospital stay was uneventful except for private room, fever (due to water in the lungs because wasn't getting enough oxygen?) which made me sweat a lot, and one nurse who I chewed out (her real problem is she just didn't communicate well).  Otherwise, I could have stayed on. . . 

I went to my parents' house to recuperate.  Things really couldn't have been any easier, considering.  I left the hosptial, my parents came to pick me up in the city.  I took a shower and washed my hair myself that morning - Thursday.  3 nights in the hospital.  I slept a lot the first day or two home, meaning, I woke ate, took a long 5 hour nap, ate, when back to sleep, etc.  By Sunday, I no longer stayed laying down on the couch sleeping and watching TV.  I got up in the am and didn't go back to bed until the pm.  I've had no complications, pain or anthing so far.  I stopped taking the pain medication on Friday, I believe my last dose was Friday, 6/30 in the pm.  I haven't missed it and have felt better without it.  If I haven't yet mentioned, doctor said my surgery was "beautiful", "perfect".  I share this only to those of you concerned about having surgery.  I'm fairly healthy other than the weight, I can still get around on my own and even exercise once in a while if I can get some motivation.  Thus, I was a good candidate for surgery.  I'm certain that it gets tougher if you have co-morbidities.  Regardless, other than the first 2 days, it's been easy.  And second day was only hard because I was off pain meds for 2 hours and was very dehyrated and wanted a drink of water so much

 haven't paid a thing yet to date (actually, $20 co-pay to cardiologist, $250 to nutritionist, and $165 to psychologist).  I have received an estimated bill from the surgeon for $4K (probably 25% of his fee that won't be reimbursed by Oxford).

A lot has happened since I first came on this site and decided I wanted surgery.  In some ways I feel bad because I've read a lot of profiles and some of you have had a struggle to get to the point of having surgery.  I think I decided to have the surgery at the very beginning of May 2007 and now I'm scheduled to go in for the DS on 6/25/07.  I was approved by my insurance immediately.  I'm going to have some out of pocket costs because my doctor is out of network for Oxford, but it will only be approximately 20% of the surgeon's fee of $15K.  Too good to be true!

I'm in the final stages.  I've met with the psychologist, nutritionist, cardiologist, gastroenterologist, and have had pre-surgery testing including blood, ECG, chest xray, and discussion with anesthesiology.  Next week I have to go to my primary care physician for the final OK for surgery.  

I've taken off 1.5 weeks from work.  I hope that will be enough time.  I'm going in Monday for the surgery, I hope to be out of the hospital by Wednesday, I'm going to my parents house for the next couple of days, and hope to be back in my apartment by Sunday evening 7/1/07.  I'll return to work on the 5th.  If necessary, I'll take off the final 2 days of that week.

One problem I'm having is I have not been able to lose any weight pre-surgery.  I think I'm in one of those moods where it's like "this is the last time I'll get to go to this restaurant" or "this is the last time I'll be able to have a cocktail" or "this is the last time I'll be able to go out with my friends for a while".  I realize that may sound unreasonable to some, but I live in NYC.  Almost all social life in NY takes place in restaurants and bars.  In addition, I entertain clients for business.  Further, I haven't told anyone but my mother that I'm having this surgery.  Why?  For one thing I'm embaressed.  I know I shouldn't be, but I am.  For another, I plan to lose this weight and not look back; i.e., many of my old friends don't know I'm this heavy because I won't see people and when I make new friends, boyfriends especially, I don't want them to know how I was.  I realize there's something wrong with this way of thinking, but my pride is in the way.  Finally, I don't want to talk to anyone about what I can and can't eat, I don't want anyone watching me and suggesting one thing or another.  My mom criticized me my whole life and was constantly watching me and making comments.  My sister also scrutinizes me.  It's not exactly fair because both of them are naturally VERY thin.  Thus, it's a secret.  I'm going to pretend I'm losing the weight (I've lost a lot of weight in the past via modified eating and a lot of exercise - running).  I had to tell my mother because I need someone to assist me.  I was thinking about paying me housekeeper to come over every day to my apartment after I got out of the hospital to check in on me, but she doesn't even speak English, so I'm not certain that would work so well.

The other day I was reading a post about how did all of you get husbands when you were fat.  I understand that person's comments.  First, I'm amazed because many of you seem to have very nice, handsome husbands.  Good for you.  Second,  I haven't dated or been intimate with a man in 10 years.  I've had a number of problems, but being fat has really put a damper on what I will and won't do socially.  Once in a while a man has asked me out, but I can't even bring myself to even think about the possibility.  First, the type of men I'm attracted to are not attracted to me and the way I look; second, I feel so self conscious and so down about myself and my body that I am not even interested in pursuing men.  

Another difficulty is that men, old boyfriends (and women) who I've known in the past keep contacting me and wanting to see me and I have to keep dodging them because I can't let them see me like this.  Years ago I was very popular and pretty and had a ton of friends and boyfriends.  I didn't get really fat until college and beyond.  Towards the end of high school I started gaining weight, but I was only about 160 / 170 and 5'9" or so.  Thus, I could still pull it off.  However, I didn't get the attention I did when I was 145 lbs.  When I was 13 and approximately 135 / 140 lbs. I won a national modeling contest.  Even at that time I felt fat.  Again, after college I lost some weight (probably weighed 165) and worked a little as a plus size model.  Although a size 12 or so, I was really too thin to be a real plus size model.  My agent thought I should gain weight.  I'm like, yeah right, I'm gonna gain weight so I can be a fat model.  No thanks.

But now I'm huge.  Some people still tell me I'm pretty, but it's difficult to see because I have so much weight on my body and around my face that you can't even recognize me.  Truthfully, except for my stomach and the way I feel phsycially, I still feel like the somewhat fat girl I was a 13, thin but with more weight than your average skinny little 13 year old.  I look at other people and compare myself to them, but I've been in a real fog.  When I got on that scale, for the first time in over 10 years, and realized I weighed almost 300 lbs. I knew it was time to stop kidding myself.  I thought I weighed 240 or 250. 

Regardless, I'm having surgery in 10 days, I'm going to lose all my excess weight and keep it off.  Period.

I had an endoscopy yesterday.  Some ulcers and an hietal hernia, whatever that is, but all's OK, I think.  I called and they scheduled my surgery for 7/23/07.  I'm happy to be scheduled, but want an earlier date.  I can't wait, I just want to start living AFTER the surgery.  Right now I feel like I am in limbo.

Dr. Gagner's office is great.  So is NY Presbyterian.  The gastroenterologist who did my endoscopy, Thomas Liu, MD, was very nice, personable, and professional.  When I called Dr. Gagner's office to say I'd done all my pre-surgery work and left a message for Allison, she called me back within a couple hours.

I'm psyched that I'm on my way!

I had the cardiologist appointment yesterday.  All's clear.  I had to take a stress test where the doctor has you on a treadmill.  I ran out of breath pretty quickly.  I look forward to the day I can run 5 miles again.  As luck would have it, I was able to reschedule my endoscopy earlier, I'm going tomorrow morning.  This process is going far too easily for me, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  (I'll keep my fingers crossed regarding my insurance approval.)

Psych eval went fine.  Dr. Gagner's office is a pro.  Everyone knows the exact steps to get someone through the process, towards insurance approval, and surgery.  I've also met with the nutritionist, she was great, Jamie Sherry.  She managed to explain food / nutrition / vitamins / post surgery eating in very simple terms without becoming too . . . consdescending, for lack of a better word.

I told my mom and my cousin Kym.  I wish I hadn't told either, but I'm excited and wanted to tell someone.  Also, I need someone to help me after the sugery; thus, my mom.  I told my cousin because I was out at her house and had one too many cocktails.

Tomorrow I see the cardiologist.  After the cardiologist, I just have the gastroenterologist left because I can schedule surgery.  I'm very excited!

I wonder if I should tell him I've been in therapy for years!

I had my initial consultation.  Turns out I'm 296 lbs. and 5' 8" tall rendering a BMI of 45.  Dr. Gagner's office was very professional and nice.  I was greated warmly by a nurse / technician (?), who weighed me and took vital signs.  I then met with Gagner's physician's assistant who was very pretty and thin!  Then I met with the doctor.  He reviewed my record, started to explain the surgeries and then asked if I had something in mind.  I told him DS and he didn't seem to have a problem with it.  Afterwards, I met with a researcher who analyzed my body composition; suffice it to say, I'm over 50% fat.  The researcher was pretty and thin, too!  I'm scheduled for the psych evaluation, nutritionist, lab tests and cardiologist in the next week and thegastroenterologist on 6/7/07.  I'm hoping to get a sooner appointment with the gastroenterologist.  Other than that, I don't think I need any additional tests, consults or exams.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed on insurance.  I have Oxford Freedom.  My doctor is out of network which means I'll have to pay a portion out of pocket.  I'm dying to know how much that will be and when I have to have the money.

I have an initial consultation with Dr. Gagner on May 8th.  I'm hoping he'll agree to do laproscopic DS surgery.  I have Oxford Freedom Plan insurance.  I'm 45 year old female, 5'9" tall, approximately 290 and in good health other than the weight.  I have a BMI of 43 / 44.  Another thoughts, suggestions, comments?